Quick Hits: 8/4/2009

Hey Barak, I know it seems like a good idea to have your legions of deadbeat, homely, basement dwelling, community agitator types act as a domestic spy agency to try and find dissenters to your ridiculous policies but I can save you even more time. Just walk into any place of business and watch all the people diligently working hard to provide for themselves and their families. All those people are against you. Feel free to send your legions back to their basements and community centers so they can figure out how not to be productive for yet another day.
(see here if you don't know what I'm talking about. )

On a related note, the Alien and Sedition Act of 1798 and all other Sedition Acts are still expired and unconstitutional. In case you were curious.

How nice it is to see that 4/5 of the cash for clunkers cars being bought are foreign. Good job running GM government! Way to stimulate the economy of Japan! More electric merkins, video games and disturbing cinema for everybody!

Great, Soviet subs are patrolling our East Coast again. Thank god we don't care anymore.

The United States' relationship with North Korea mirrors a classic love story of old. North Korea is Bill Clinton, the United States is Monica Lewinsky and, in a magic performance, Bill Clinton himself is the famous cigar. Or blue dress. I've lost control of my metaphor.

Avocado eating sissy crosses local thug. Dead fish futures rise dramatically.

The Office of Gay Agency Logo Design unveils new tribute to Obamacare:



Sha-Zam!
That sound you hear is the last bloom falling off the rose: