Run A 4.2, Win the 8th Pick!

The 2010 NFL Draft is only two days away and for real football fans that's like telling a crack head his next fix is only two days away.

Unless you're a Raiders fan, then you get to skip the wonderful rush of your chosen drug, instead you just get to be sick, get the DT's and go straight into rehab. Darrius Heyward-Bey is one man dose of NFL Anabuse. Whatever cabal of South American miscreants that runs American soccer should just run a loop of game film of DHB and Ted Ginn Jr. getting hit in the face by perfect passes to attract cross over fans. Sure, soccer sucks and is boring enough to fill the final chamber in Dr. Jack's Death Machine but at least it isn't painful and shaming.

So what can we expect from Al's War Room? Who knows. After Okung all the tackles have questionable attitudes or work ethic. Bruce Campbell is a workout star who wasn't even an honorable mention all ACC nominee so he could fit right in. Jean Paul Pierre Pierce de Bastiste Alamain from South Florida is also a physical freak who is only hampered by his complete inability to play football, so keep an eye on him as well.

Who would I choose? Here we go:

Trent Williams T - The only other OL worth the 8 pick after Okung.

Jimmy Clausen QB - I hate Notre Dame in a way that only an Irish Catholic can yet the thought of watching that fat, lazy piece of crap Jam Jam take another snap is unbearable. Hand me my rosaries so I can pray Todd McShay straight to hell.

C.J. Spiller RB - Guess what? The only reason we forget how bad McFadden has been is because DHB and Baby Huey Russell have been so bad. Michael Bush plus an actual playmaker might actually be exciting, no?

Dez Bryant WR - DHB makes James Jett look like Steve Largent covered in stickum. Lou Murphy and Chaz Schielens are fine but don't exactly awe anybody with the afterburners. Kyle Boller needs somebody to go deep to right? Right? Anybody? (head hit keyboard)

Anyway, I'm looking forward to this draft as much as a hot twenty year old looks forward to drinks with Ben Rothlisberger. I only hope that when it's over Al and the boys can at least call me a cab.

Happy V-W Day

Hard to believe its been 17 long years since the greatest military conquest of Bill Clinton's career, the stunning destruction of the Branch Davidian complex in Waco, TX.

It was a glorious day on the battlefield where the federal government, in the face of massive resistance, rolled tanks into a church to pacify the hostile natives. Once somebody got around to putting out the fires and letting the tear gas clear, 76 domestic terrorists were removed from the face of the earth including more than 20 children (future Hitlers) and 2 pregnant women (breeding future Hitlers).

And what was the great crime these religious fanatics were being burned out for? For possessing legal weapons that could be modified into illegal ones, as can all weapons, by the way. For possibly abusing children, although no evidence was ever substantiated. But mostly they were being stormed because they were a bunch of kooky religious types who had a nutty leader who managed to convince his followers that he should be nailing their wives for them.

Sounds like a weekend in Chappaquiddick but I digress.

What they really were guilty of is getting in the cross hairs of a President perceived as a weak, draft dodging lightweight. This was before Monica, Paula Jones, etc. so we can't attribute being a world class p*ssyhound/date rapist to the influences. Either way, Clinton and his top dog General Reno came into office the way normal guys go into jail; with a kick ass on the first day mindset. Instead of the jailhouse Mary, Willy found himself David Koresh; a loony who was just far enough outside the mainstream that he figured nobody would care if the charges were more trumped up than Bush's WMD claims could ever dream to be.

More appalling than the actual invasion of an American citizens home with tanks and attack helicopters was the dead silence from supposed civil liberty advocates that constantly harp on supposed civil rights violations that are mostly just politically correct nonsense. This is particularly relevant today as leftists everywhere are trying to paint the Tea Party protesters as some kind of armed militia movement. If the FBI and DEA can find the stones to whack a bunch Christian separatists living in the middle of nowhere engaged in some kind of consensual religious orgy, you think they won't go crack the skulls of 30,000 Tea Parties congregating in the vicinity of the Capitol? No way. And you can bet that the only sounds you'll hear from those ACLU types is soft laughter because if history is a guide to anything, if you're conservative, white, Christian or an individualist, they don't give a crap about you or your rights.

It should also be noted that the Clinton administrations "military success" in Waco emboldened them to take more action in Ruby Ridge and Mogadishu and it inspired such luminaries as Osama bin Laden, Tim McVeigh and the Unabomber. Good times.