New York, New York

The Yankees have a few problems but one glaring one could be solved by the incompetence of the Mets.

As hard as it is to face, Derek Jeter has become a real liability. Bad enough where it needs to be addressed. The problem with The Captain isn't his lack of mobility in the field, it's on offense. He can't drive the ball anymore and his on base percentage is terrible. He can't be slotted in anywhere in the top 6 of the lineup and is probably best suited for the 9 hole in front of Gardner.

This is a real blow because if he can't hit, he can't be moved to the outfield or DH.

Luckily, the Mets have continued to suck and need to unload Jose Reyes. The Yankees need to make a serious play for him.

The only problem is whether or not the Mets would try and hijack the Yanks because of the cross town rivalry. In a reasonable world, a package of Nunez and prospect Jesus Montero should get the job done.

Many Yankee fans might see it as too high a cost considering the hype around Montero. The only problem is that Montero doesn't have a position. He can't catch and the Yankees also have Auatin Romine and Gary Sanchez in the catching pipeline. He could play 1B but only if you unload Texiera. He could also DH but the team needs that spot for its aging sluggers who can't play the field. It's only a matter of time before A-Rod becomes the full time DH anyway.

One thing the Yankees should not do is trade the young pitchers Banuelos or Betances. Maybe not even Noesi or Brackman. It's been so long since the Yankees had any respectable young pitching (Phil Hughes and Joba don't count) that they can't panic and dump them into a deal for a position player.

The bottom line is that the Yankees can't win consistently with Jeter playing everyday, hitting leadoff or second. The Mets are incompetent and desperate and if the Yankees can grab Reyes, they absolutely should. Jeter is going to have to face his Posada-esque revelation sooner or later. Might as well be sooner.

Number Two Is Right

On the eve of Opening Day, a great day where hundreds of people gather to watch a summer game in the snow, I have some concerns about my beloved Yankees.

The first regards The Captain, Derek Jeter. All I've been hearing all training camp is about how he has removed the slide step from his hitting style in an attempt to play catch up to the fastball. What I haven't been hearing is how he has been tearing the cover off the ball this spring. All that can mean is that last year wasn't a fluke. When a 36 year old decides to start tinkering with his mechanics to hit the most common pitch in the game, it just screams "I'm washed up!" Changing positions isn't going to help either if he can't hit anymore.

Speaking of bad mechanics and being washed up, A.J. Burnett has now gone 34 consecutive years of life looking for a way to get a consistent delivery and release point. I guess he has adjusted his leg kick in an effort to keep his pitches from randomly turning into BP balls in the middle of games. Shouldn't a pitcher who has made it to the bigs ironed out the delivery for about a decade now? How many examples do we have of a pitcher changing his windup, then skyrocketing off to success? All the talk about the rotation has been about the 4 & 5 spots but we all do realize what it means to have AJ as the two right? He needs to win at least 16 games and have a sub 4 ERA for the Yanks to be competitive for the playoffs. I'm not sure you can count on 18 from Hughes again and the Nova/Garcia/Colon/Milwood pupu platter probably has the over/under set at about 25 wins and I'm not sure I would go with the over on that one.

I realize that being overly nervous is a Yankee tradition but how good should anyone feel when two key cogs to the machine have decided to redo the mechanics of the job? I would also point out that any bullpen that has both Joba and Pedro Feliciano in it is ripe for destruction.

Having said all that, I do think the Yanks take the wildcard. The Red Sox are not going to be near as good as people think they will be. A lot of what Crawford is good at is negated by the goofy dimensions of that ballpark and Dice-K, Beckett and Lackey are just about done. The real reason the Yanks should still be in the playoffs is that the Rays are significantly worse. No Soriano and the everyday lineup features Johnny Damon and ManRam. Plus, they think Kyle Farnsworth can close. I guess every team in the league has to make that mistake once.

200 Million Dollar Question

It's hard to believe but spring training is nearly done and Opening Day is exactly one week away.

This revelation sent me into a predictable, early panic. Did i have enough bacon, ground beef and sharp cheddar? Should I go with brauts instead? Ribs? Is it really ethical for me to drink tall boys and barbecue all day when technically it's my "work from home day"? Heady questions indeed. For the record, I think I might go with burgers and ribs and just skip the potato salad all together.

A bigger panic though came shortly thereafter when I realized I had no idea who was gonna be pitching for the Yanks. People have been writing for weeks about the battle for the number 4 & 5 slots in the rotation. That assumes of course that AJ Burnett can hold on to the number 2 spot. I personally think AJ is a couple of bad outings from hanging out with Kaz Igawa and Fat Toad Hideki Irabu.

Ignoring that disturbing fact though still leaves the bottom of the rotation. By all accounts Ivan Nova has been awesome in the spring and has locked up the number 4 spot. I must say it's nice to finally have a pitcher under 30 to develop that isn't Phil Hughes. I think I can rest easy there.

What'll keep me up at nights, metaphorically anyway, is that the number 5 spot has seen the legendary Sergio Mitre and Freddy Garcia beaten out by . . . . Bartolo Colon. You might remember him from his Cy Young season of 1984. He's been throwing great, there's no doubt about it but good lord look at him. It looks like all the fat C.C. Sabathia lost hooked up with Rich "El Guapo" Garces and their unholy progeny turned into this iteration of Bartolo.

I realize that you don't have to be the picture of health. The Babe plowed through hookers and booze at a Lawrence Taylor-esque rate and that was just in between innings. But there's fat and then there's unhealthily fat. David Wells was a big fat jackass but he never looked like he was going to die in the middle of a pitch. Hell, El Guapo looked damn near childlike on the mound. Every time I see Colon throw a pitch I'm convinced he's just keep on going through his follow through right into the grave. And this at the end of spring training! He's supposedly in game shape.

I hope I'm wrong but I can't see him lasting all year taking the bump regularly. They should just have him and Garcia split every fifth game. One week Bartolo gets 5 innings and Garcia 4, then switch the next time through. That's gotta be better than trying to get 200 relief innings out of Joba and Pedro Feliciano every time Bartolo throws 115 pitches through 4 1/3 and has to be yanked.

Meh & Double Meh

I'm actually kind of glad that the Yankees didn't sign Cliff Lee.

Signing a 33 yr. old pitcher for seven years is an iffy proposition. After all, lee has only had 3 real good years and a couple horrific ones. Last year, he lost 2 games in the World Series and was generally hittable by everyone except the Yankees. Why pay 138 million for a guy who's 2 years away from being Andy Pettitte?

Furthermore, the Yankees are old. Real old. At some point they need to try and get some exciting young blood in there. Zack Greinke fits that bill but I'm not sure they should trade a real catching prospect for a guy who was being treated for personality disorders in Kansas City. I'm guessing there might be a wee bit more pressure in the Bronx than there was in KC. Guy might just have a Charles Whitman-esque breakdown and start picking people off from Monument Park.

Besides, do you really want a guy on your team that is "really excited" to be going to Philadelphia? No way.

Self Reflection

Now that The Boss is dead and the nation is seemingly overwhelmed by legions of Yankee bandwagon jumpers wearing pink or red Yankee hats, I must now examine my history with the beloved Yankees to see if I'm now a douchebag as well.

FACT #1 - It's true I'm from Colorado but we didn't have a team until 1993 so I can't be held accountable for having picked a team in the first 13 years of life. Most of the family is from NY so naturally I drifted towards one of their teams. Thank god it wasn't the Mets.

FACT #2 - As I was forming my connection with the team, it happened to be during the worst of the Steinbrenner years. I figure the years from about 4 years old (1984) to 13 years old (1993) were when I became locked in to the pinstripes. So was I bandwagon jumper? I hardly think so. To check those standings, in my most impressionable years, the Yanks didn't make the playoffs once, finished dead last once. Even if you add in the next two years, the Yanks lost a first place team to a strike and then lost that heartbreaking wildcard playoff to the Mariners.

1980: 103-59 (lost ALCS)
1981: 59-48 (won World Series)
1982: 79-83
1983: 91-71
1984: 87-75
1985: 97-64
1986: 90-72
1987: 89-73
1988: 85-76
1989: 74-87
1990: 67-95 (last in AL)
1991: 71-91
1992: 76-86
1993: 88-74
1994: 70-43 (strike cancelled season)
1995: 79-65 (lost 3-2 to Seattle in ALDS. E. Martinez walkoff, Jr. scores.)
1996: 92-70 (won World Series, start of the Jeter Era)

How was I supposed to know that things weren't always as bad as they were when I was growing up? We had no Internet back then kiddies. So far as I knew, we were the lovable losers.

FACT #3 - There wasn't just losing during this time period, it was Steinbrenner losing. Jay Buhner losing. That counts double.

CONCLUSION: I earned the right to be a Yankee fan. All of these bandwagon, Jeter groupies can suck it. You don't know what it's like to have Jim Abbott start on opening day or to have Steve Howe involved in your team in any way. Don't get me started on Gerald Williams or how Steiny wanted to trade Bernie Williams 10 minutes after he got to the bigs. We can all make fun of the late arriving Red Sox and Yankee fans wearing multi-colored gear or Yankee jerseys with the name on the back (!) but I'll continue to wear my blue hat high (so long as I can still get some kind of family discount . . .), secure in the fact that I'm better than all these other people that make people like me look bad and that I have not been living my life as an unaware douchebag. Not for this anyway.

EXTRA FACT #1 - I don't care that the Yanks have tons of money to spend. All of you "small market" teams in Los Angeles, Miami, Baltimore, Washington D.C., Boston, Queens, Texas and St. Louis just need to sack up a little bit and try to scrape a few more shekels out of your "small town America" fan bases. Not my problem that your team is broke because of a divorce (Dodgers), or that you can't get Hispanics to watch baseball (Miami), or that you're incompetent (Orioles, Nationals, Mets) or that it's just to hot to play late in the season (Texas). Also not my problem that spending 150 million still leaves you with Varitek, Papi, Wakefield, Dice - K and Lowell (Red Sox). It takes cash and brains my friends. In basketball they talk about getting one for the thumb but the classiest team in all of professional sports is almost half way through lap #2 of getting rings for all the digits, fingers and toes. On the way to 28!

SUCK ON IT FACT #1 - Had the Yankees traded for Cliff Lee, he might have only been the #3 pitcher, given the role Pettitte is on.

What A Special Time

The Carnival of the Damned was back in full force today as both Obama and the Senate took turns insulting out intelligence and making a mockery of the Constitution.

Where to begin. Obama is the Instigator in Chief so we might as well start there.

In a speech today, Obama took the time to blast the TARP package passed at the end of the Bush term, pat himself on the back for rescuing the economy and laid out his new plan to spend our way out of the recession.

Whew. First of all, I happen to agree that the TAP plan was a legislative abortion. I just wish Obama also felt this way back when he was voting for it as a Senator. I also wish Obama would not have appointed the architect of said abortion (Tim Geitner) as his Secretary of the Treasury. The most galling thing about Obama constantly hammering the spending explosion under Bush is that most of it happened since the Democrats took control of Congress in 2006 and wore out the credit line. With Obama's support the whole time. Obama should be trying to ignore discussing the economy at all given his complicit part in it's destruction. He's decided to try and spin 15% unemployment, 7 million jobs lost and absolute zero growth as "saving the economy." Very odd.

Most insulting though is his new plan to spend our way out of the recession. What exactly have we been doing? The TARP was meant to get banks lending credit again. Instead, Obama decided to buy up banks, lending firms and GM. The stimulus was meant to get people working by taking shovel ready jobs and funding them so they could be gin right away. So far, there isn't any evidence the stimulus has created one job. Most of that money has gone to states to cover various deficits, social programs or legal teams, if you live in Colorado. Whatever money is left is just sitting in a slush fund waiting for the Fed to send out to its political allies. So after two multi trillion dollar failures, Obama ow wants stimulus III to finally start getting people working. Yeah right buddy. You're a liar and a bad one at that. I know you're just daring the media to call you out on all this but what you don't seem to get is that even the most dim witted American can see the truth of your flawed ideology.
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In other news, the Senate has defeated the Benson Amendment banning federal health care reform from paying for abortions. That's right, your tax dollars might end up collapsing a fetal skull in the near future. The only question now is how much spine do the pro-life Democrats have now? Ben Nelson has drawn a pretty firm line in the sand on the abortion issue, much like Joe Lieberman has drawn an anti public plan line. If I had to make a prediction, Nelson would crumble as would all the other pro-life Dems and Lieberman can probably be bought off with some clever rewording of the socialist option. Then the elections will come and heads will roll.
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From the world of sports, the Yankees are apparently close to sending Austin Jackson, Phil Coke and Ian Kennedy off into the wilderness to acquire Curtis Granderson. The WWL assumes that this might also mean the end of Johnny Damon in New York. I am mystified that seems to be a positive move in the eyes of the media heads. We must first throw out the Kennedy/Coke part. Nobody cares about those two. Essentially its Austin Jackson for Curtis Granderson. While certainly an upgrade defensively, Granderson hit a whopping .249 last year with 30 HR's and 71 RBI. Essentially he's Melky Cabrera with more pop and less average. And way more expensive. For years Yankee fans have been hearing about how great Austin Jackson could be. If the team believes his ceiling is batting .250 with 25 HRS and 50 RBI then the trade makes sense but it seems like the Yanks are trying to get the big name again hoping Granderson somehow recreates his 07 season (.302, 23 HR, 74 RBI) on a consistent basis. A risky proposition considering he has only done that once in his six year career.

The Drought Is Over

The New York Yankees moved on to the World Series by beating the Los Angeles Angeles of Anaheim, San Jose, Silver Lake, Diamond Bar and El Cajon 5-2 Sunday night.

More impressively, they also beat their own manager, Joe Girardi who seemed to be actively working against them.

Girardi himself seemed surprised by the teams success. "Whew! I assumed I'd somehow manage to F@#! up this one too, that's why I decided to hold a fully rested Sabathia over to game 7. Figured it was inevitable." Girardi remarked.

When asked about a couple of tense moments during the game, Girardi recalled when "Andy threw a 0-2 ball to Figgens in the 1st. I thought maybe he didn't have his A game. Lucky thing Gaudin wasn't warm or I would've pulled his ass." In regards to how far he could stretch Rivera, Girardi said he had no problems stretching him out a bit. "My only question was if I could get six outs with Mo or 15."

When asked to comment, Riviera told MLB's Harold Reynolds. "I tried to hit him (Girardi) with a champagne cork during the celebration. I think I may have knocked Minka Kelly into the old stadium."

While Girardi's bizarre substitutional antics were seen as ALCS whimsy, don't expect the team to tolerate it during the World Series. "This is the big show" Captain Jeter said "if he tries to pinch run Guzman for A-Rod in the sixth, I'm paying a drifter to kill him."

Game 1 is Wednesday night in the stadium.

3 For The Road

How Many Times!
How many times can I possibly say the same things? Overmanaging loses baseball games! You Joe Girardi, I'm looking straight at you. After Aceves's failure of a postseason so far, what exactly inspired you to pull a smoking Robertson to pitch to Jeff Mathis? There can be no excuse. You pulled one no name pitcher, who was doing well, to put in another no name pitcher, who has sucked for the entire postseason. TO PITCH TO THE BACKUP CATCHER!! Why was Robertson gassed? After eleven pitches? Too tired to pitch to Jeff Mathis? Gimmie a break. Just so we can quantify the degree of the over management lets examine the numbers.
Pettitte - 19 outs on 95 pitches.
Joba - 1 out, 10 pitches
Marte - 1 out, one pitch
Coke - 1 out, 3 pitches
Hughes - 5 outs, 19 pitches
Riviera - 3 outs, 17 pitches
Robertson - 2 outs, 11 PITCHES, NO HITS, NO WALKS!!!!
Aceves - 0 outs, 7 pitches, 1 game lost.

If you want to bring in Rivera for Hughes fine, if you swapping out hot crap for cold, just leave it alone for god's sake.

Thank God For the Brits
This is an excellent speech by Christopher Lord Monckton, the 3rd Viscount of Monckton of Brenchley on global warming and the Copenhagen agreement. A little long but worth it if you've been looking for somebody to articulate what everybody knows, that global warming is a myth. (no, I do not know what that title means exactly.)



full story on the speech plus the slide show he refers to.

You Say Goodbye and I Say Get Lost
Yeah, I know Denver beat San Diego and has moved to 6-0. My response? So what. If you think I'm gonna pull a mea culpa and admit that the Broncos are any good then you've got another thing coming. The Raiders almost beat San Diego so how much does this win mean exactly? All your other wins are tainted. You can 16-0 my friends but if you keep padding the stats in Cleveland, Oakland and KC, you still suck.

Roundup!

Stampede
The University of Colorado finally beat a ranked team Saturday night, staving off a Kansas rally 34-30. It was going to be interesting to see how the team would respond to the coach benching his own son, then talking trash about him. Turns out poppa knows best as Tyler Hansen looked pretty good running the show. Win or no win, I think Coach Hawkins replacing his sons nameplate with one that say "Anchor" is completely uncalled for.

Destiny - Not Just A Name For Strippers
You know the Yankees are living a charmed life when they can actually beat the Angels. When the Angels seem to be actively trying to lose though, you know the gods have decided to intervene and end the Yankees nearly decade long title drought. My only real fear is that all this good luck will somehow end in the Yankees being beaten by the quadruple-A Dodgers in the world series. I remember all too well getting beat by the Marlins a few years ago and the shame of getting defeated by Los Angeles's original carpetbaggers would be too much to bear. Although Tommy Lasorda may just explode in a hail of delightful F-bombs during the postgame celebration which might be worth it.

By Me A Drink First
If the NFL were an HBO show then the Patriots are just about done tattooing a swastika on the ass of the Tennessee Titans. Aside from Randy Moss single handedly saving my fantasy day, this game does provoke many a question. How bad is Vince Young? He just took his first snap trailing 59-0 at the start of the fourth quarter. He must a complete wack job to not be starting for the atrocity of a team. Wow, real time update, VY just throws a pick. Nice. Now we know. This game might also provide the earliest example of an FU score in recorded history. Tom Brady throwing his fifth TD of the second quarter had FU written all over it. Gisele must have tied Tom's access to her body to his performance on the field because he played like a man possessed today. You would hardly know there was three feet of snow on the ground.

And On The Seventh Day Our Lord God Said - "No Dogfighting!"
If there was ever any doubt about how God felt about Mike Vick, now we know. Oakland 13 Philadelphia 9. This sort of righteous punishment seems a bit harsh to me. After all, not everybody on the team was dogfighting. The indignity of losing to Oakland seems like a punishment best saved for pedophiles and members of the Green Party. Having said that, as a long suffering member of Raider nation, I will now celebrate the unlikely victories of the Buffs, Stimulus Package (fantasy team), Yanks and Raiders, in the nude, up and down the streets of Colorado Springs. See you on the road and don't judge, it's winter.

July 4th Miracle

Today, we celebrate our Independence with beer, steak and fireworks.

But this year, I'll be celebrating something special in addition to freedom.

Chien-Ming Wang's ERA dropped into single digits for the year.

Wang started this morning against Toronto and gave up 4 in 5.1 innings which, while not exactly a great performance, dropped his ERA to 9.86.

Much like the would be Americans punking the Brits all those years ago, Wang's milestone proves that underdgogs do win and miracles can happen in land of the free and home of the brave.

God bless this great land!

Yankees Lead By Example in D.C.

The New York Yankees lost a game, and a series, Thursday night in D.C. but came out the winners.
"These kids are heroes, it was nice to see them celebrate after the game." captain Derek Jeter said in the post game news conference.
During interleague play this season, the Yankees sacrificed three valuable off-days to have a friendly exhibition with the Washington Nationals, a local D.C. high school team.
The Yankees took game one on Tuesday as expected but dropped the next two to the ecstatic Nationals.
The Yankees claim to not have tanked on purpose but when Nick Swisher gave Melky Cabrera a hot foot in the outfield in the pivotal fifth inning, the result was never in doubt.
"Aw, who gives a shit!" proclaimed Swisher "The kids feel great, we did our civic duty. It was a great break from the grind of a big league season."
Nationals pitcher Craig Stammen, Thursdays winner and unknown prospect, sees lasting impact from tonight's game. "Now I can get a date to the prom! This unbelievable!" the elated Stammen screamed as he ran off the field after getting hit with the ceremonial shaving cream pie "wait til the boys at the dock hear about this one!"
The Yankees resume big league action Friday in Florida against the Marlins.