The Red Herring Exposed - A Clue Analysis (PART 9)

 THE EIGHTH MURDER - MR. BODDY

(Wadsworth, just prior to the reckoning)

The Situation: The supporting cast has fulfilled their roles yet the banshee wails still. After explaining to the cast the events of the entire evening, Wadsworth exposes himself (with ladies present) as the one who killed the Singing Telegram Girl and that he is in fact Mr. Boddy.

The Murder: The murder itself is straightforward. After Wadsworth nee Boddy gives his villain speech,  Mr. Green quick draws his service revolver and shoots Wadsworth directly in the heart. I think. Kind of unclear where the shot hits but Wadsworth dies almost instantly. Mr. Green reveals that he is an FBI Agent investigating the blackmail and that he is totally not gay and is going to celebrate solving the mystery by sleeping with his totally real wife. The religious beatnik makes his final appearance as he is actually the chief of the local police force, I assume. They call him chief and the cops there look like regular police and not other FBI Agents so I think Green had local backup on this one.

There are a number of problems that we'll get to in the loose threads portion of the series but one question to look at now is; "Why did Green shoot Wadsworth?"

Looking back at the evidence it seems like a pretty clear cut case of a bad shooting. At this point everybody in the house has been exposed as a murderer, been murdered or involved in a fairly elaborate blackmail scheme. It's true that Wadsworth had a gun but he has made it very clear that he is not going to kill anyone else at the party. The whole point of the night was to compromise the guests so that they can replace the cook, butler and Yvette as his informers so the blackmailing racket could continue. In addition to Wadsworth's lack of motivation, Mr. Green knows that the house is surrounded by police. Had Green simply waited and continued his ruse, they would have stacked the bodies in the cellar, left quietly one at a time and been subsequently arrested as they left. In a movie about a series of murders, the justice delivered at the end, was in fact, just another murder.

Conclusion: Wadsworth is very much a Macbethian figure. He too is the protagonist of this theater yet is ultimately the baddy. Also, Wadsworth only realizes at the very end that he has confused the message of the apparitions and that Macduff has stormed the gates and is approaching. Jonathan Lynn should've had Green cut off Wadsworth's head at the end. At least as an alternate ending.

Tortured historical metaphors aside, Wadsworth is ultimately an unimpressive mastermind. The plan itself is bizarre. Killing of proven informers just to replace them with people already rung out and on the hook? Why not keep both? Even if you accept the notion that the old informers had to be killed off to allow the Next Generation of informers to thrive, what kind of Umbrella Corp level nonsense is this? The Umbrella Corp for those not in the know is the evil corporation that unleashed the T-Virus on Raccoon City and other places in the Resident Evil oeuvre. The unanswered question in those games is how unleashing a virus that turns people into uncontrollable killing machines that spread the virus independently has any military application that couldn't be better achieved through a smart bomb, drone, robot soldier or just about anything else the military already has. For Wadsworth the question is how creating a tense pressure cooker situation that you hope will explode into chaos that will conveniently kill only the people you want is a better idea than hiring a hitman? Or killing them yourself? The explanations I thought of don't hold water. Getting the guests to kill the informers could potentially give Wadsworth more leverage over these people to continue the blackmail. But they're already being blackmailed effectively. No more leverage is needed, you run the risk of just making them desperate. Second, Wadsworth could've gotten the guests to do the killing so that he could keep his hands clean of any actual killing or hiring of hitmen. He blew that though when he stupidly killed the Telegram Girl. No matter how you look at it, the plan was odd.

Up Next:
Loose threads. Who was Mr. Green, the J. Edgar Hoover call and the beatnik interruption.

Recap:
Wadsworth: 1 murder
Peacock: 1 murder
Green: 1 murder
White: 1 murder
Mustard: 1 murder
Scarlett: 1 murder
Plum: 1 murder

Mr. Boddy: dead

The Cook: dead

Yvette: dead

Stranded Motorist: dead

Off Duty Cop: dead

Singing Telegram Girl: dead

Wadsworth: dead

My 8-Bit Quarantine: Sonic Colors

While a cursory glance at the news would suggest that the COVID pandemic and resulting quarantine have resulted in a chaotic world with no mooring in reality or decency, my own personal experience during this period has been one of profound dullness and boredom. I suspect that is a feeling shared by a vast majority of people.

One positive development though has been my son getting old enough to get into video games in a real way. With Nintendo Switch unavailable for the vast majority of this time our journey into gaming would have to suffice with an ancient Gamecube, Wii and still pretty relevant PS3. This series will review the games we have managed to complete this lost summer and we start with the first Ebay bargain I was able to locate; Sonic Colors on the Wii.

My son immediately loved Sonic as a character and looking back on it now I wish that we hadn't started with this particular game. Having played a few Sonic games lately, Colors is far and away the best one and every subsequent voyage into Sonic Teams blighted hellscape delivered slightly diminishing returns. Or significantly diminished returns. Like when the X-Files lost Mulder and Sculley and had to make do with Robert Patrick and Annabeth Gish. 

The plot is the nonsensical pap the comprises all Sonic games. Dr. Robotnik is doing evil things for "reasons", Sonic and Tails have to fight him for "other reasons" and after four million destroyed robots and five million horrific puns, Sonic does a backflip, calls you a cool dude, then gives you a C- grade because you missed a red star ring that only a Ritalin fueled uber millennial could possibly have gotten to on the first run. All standard items on the Sonic greatest hits album.

So why the positive review? Generally speaking because the game is actually playable. My son is six and he was able to navigate most of the levels, figure out the puzzles and switches and, shockingly, he was able to also learn and successfully implement the various powers and abilities of the various "colors". And he was completely happy the entire time. 

That's a significant upgrade over most Sonic games. The ones I've seen have a never ending cast of supporting characters that exist for no other reason than to diversify the Sonic cosplay and furry conventions. The "colors" in this game are aliens who you are trying to save from Eggmans plan to use them as energy in a Matrixesque world but without providing them any kind of computer generated alternate reality. They have no personality to speak of though, they simply power Sonic up in a variety of ways that help him complete the levels. More importantly, they don't talk.

The other improvement is the gameplay physics. As I said, a six year old was able to manage the controls. That is a significant achievement considering the horrific physics in other Sonic games that make running, jumping, grabbing, etc. nearly impossible. The always present problem of Sonic moving too fast to navigate the world without dying constantly or running face first into walls was eliminated for the most part. And the grading system, long a device to shame you for playing such horrific games, is actually fair and provides motivation to replay the levels, do the side quests, find the red stars and unleash Super Sonic upon the world. The limited lives system was also done away with, I think. If it wasn't, its impact was minimized to the point of not noticing the way you do in some of Sonic's other rage inducing games.

All told, this was a great game to play with a kid, during a quarantine, without access to modern level consoles or PC games. That's meant to be complimentary. Combine that with a Jim Carrey/James Marsden Sonic movie that was far better than it had any right to be and its hard to imagine a better start to the quarantine. I was able to spend more quality time with my son in those first few weeks than I did with any other kid in their whole lives. Such innocent days those were. The school break was just one long spring break, all the Sonic content was competent and the days were filled with joyful laughter from a new gamer who delighted in chili dogs and running around the yard with his arms behind him like his new hero did. I think of those days fondly as the summer optimism fades into the chill of the fall, the world burns nightly and I struggle to understand why in the hell a game that requires moving a were-hog through tight turns also incorporates a double tap run function.

But that's for another day.

GRADE: B-

Oakland Raiders 2019 Year in Review - Offense

Well it was certainly unexpectedly pleasant to be playing a meaningful game all the way in week 17! The joy of that simple fact makes me nearly forget what an absolute shit show that last game in Denver actually was. I swear if I see Carr throw the ball straight into the ground on fourth down again I might just start giving the side eye to guys like Jameis Winston and Josh Rosen. Let's move on to the unit-by-unit review before I spoil anything.

QB= C-. Glennon sucks, Petermen sucks, Connor Cook sucks, Don Hollas sucks, Kizer sucks, Hostetler rocks, but that's all irrelevant. The one thing I expected to find out this year was what the deal with Carr is. With Antonio Brown, Ty Williams, Waller, etc. in the mix we could finally judge Carr accurately instead of blaming his woes on a bad supporting cast. Then AB flaked, Williams got hurt and suddenly Hunter Renfrow was the best WR in the building. Until he too got hurt. I think we figured Carr out anyway though and I'm afraid we're squarely in the Dalton zone. He's not good enough to win with but he's not bad enough to just dump without a plan. The problem is that he is far above average on the short to medium passing game. He will not though, throw deep, extend plays with his legs or improvise at all. If the play gets out of whack somehow he just spikes the ball wherever he is on the field. If he feels pressure, spike. WR lined up wrong, spike. He has to scramble, spike. First down, fourth down, right before half, last play of the game, SPIKE. He just has no gunslinger in him at all. Infuriating. Despite all of that though, with a really good running game and a absolute disaster on defense, they were winning. And the ship didn't fall apart until injuries on the defense remove whatever playmaking ability they had. If he had a great running game and an average defense, they would probably be Wild Card contenders but nothing more. I think the only way the team should move on is if they draft one and can benefit from the cheap contract. No Winston, Fitzmagic or Brady types.

RB= A+. Hey, this unit looks good! Just run it back again. Who knows, maybe even Crowell gets back and contributes. Who knows.

WR= D. Yikes. Injuries to Williams, Renfrow and the exit of Antonio Brown left this unit a mess. Williams looked pretty good when he was playing but he's not a number one guy. Renfrow is a great slot guy maybe but also not the guy. Even if Carr could or would throw deep, there wouldn't be anyone down there to catch it. This desperately needs upgrading with speed and more speed.

TE= A. Holy shit another winner. Waller looks like the real deal and Foster Moreau looks pretty good too! This could be a poor man's Gronk/Hernandez minus all the murder. When defenses realized that Carr was just going to go short all the time, this unit suffered as the LB's and S's just ignored the receivers and tried to stop these guys. Without an upgrade at WR, it'll happen again.

OL= B. Pretty good, all things considered. Miller was quite a bit better than last year, Trent Brown was as good as advertised, Hudson was Hudson and even Incognito was pretty good. Especially run blocking. Depth and age are a problem though. When Brown, Incognito or Jackson got hurt the replacements were terrifying. It also seems really hard to believe that Incognito can stay playing well and out of trouble for a whole nother year. Should be at least decent going forward. It better be since running the ball is the factor that team success hinges on, entirely.

Coaching - I have no idea what compels Gruden to do what he does. They run the ball on approximately 107% of the time on first down. Short pass on 2nd, incomplete on 3rd. Like clockwork. This is the most damning critique of Carr in my opinion. Gruden doesn't trust him or the receivers at all. And maybe he shouldn't. Makes me very nervous about this offseason though and the possibility of watching Jordan Love start the first game in Vegas. I'd still rather have him then some of these other playoff coaches who seem to have no comprehension of basic space and time.

Next up, the Defense. AHHHHHH!