NFL Preview: Dallas Cowboys

QB: C+ Maybe now that J Simp is out of the picture Cowboy fans can finally realize that Romo is just a walking choke job. Maybe they can blame the ghost of Farah Fawcett instead.

RB: A Yes, yes. Barber, Jones & Choice are all good. Unfortunately they all seem to get hurt at some point and constantly dissapoint at the end of the season.

WR: C+ Am I excited for the Roy Williams era? Oh yes. Then again, I don't like the Boys too much.

TE: A Jason Witten should be fantasy gold this year. The WR's suck ass so you know Romo is going there.

OL: B The biggest shock here? The fact that Leonard Davis is still playing. I did not know that.

DL: B- Yeah, Spears is pretty good but why were they so hell bent on getting rid of Greg Ellis? Did Igor Olshansky really merit that much respect?

LB: B+ Ware and James are awesome but Keith Brooking is a husk.

DB: B- Mike Jenkins better turn out good because these guys got torched last year. One positive, they don't have Horsecoller Williams to worry about anymore.

P/K: B Folk, Briar, Blah.

COACHING: D- Wade Phillips seems like a really nice guy. Not so good with the chalkboard

STADIUM: A+ That new stadium is sick. I saw that massive plasma TV (60 yars long, 25 yards high!) and nearly had a spiritual moment. I hate the Cowboys but man do I respect Jerry Jones. The man knows class. You couldn't have a stadium that nice in Oakland. The JumboTron would be standard definition and everything would be covered in silver velet.

BEST CASE SCENARIO: 11-5, FIRST in the EAST. It could happen. The East sucks and I suppose somebody has to win.

WORST CASE SCENARIO: 6-10, LAST in the EAST. Then again, just because somebody has to win doesn't mean the Cowboys don't suck. They can't throw they ball.