World Wide Leader of Duh

Lord knows I'm no Tim Tebow apologist but good lord the caliber of people who feel entitled to tear him down is way down in the dregs.

It's bad enough to have talking heads like Jon Gruden and Ron Jaworski tearing apart QB's but how exactly did we come to the point where Merril Hoge, Mark Schlereth and Eric Mangini are somehow qualified to state without any doubt that Tebow should be taken out back and shot?

Hoge was a slightly above average fullback who suffered massive concussions and had to retire.

Schelerth was a offensive lineman best know for puking before games out of fear and smelling to holy hell.

Mangini was the genius behind the Jets debacle that was righted by one of the Ryans as well as the Brady Quinn, Derek Anderson nonsense in Cleveland.

Tebow is the classic example of losing your sponsor. He was drafted by Josh McDaniel knowing it would take 3 years to get him ready. McDaniel gets fired and suddenly everyone is shocked that Tebow can't beat out Orton right after a lockout.

If John Elway and John Fox don't want him, then fine. They didn't draft him. ESPN needs to have a little more dignity than to trot these 3 know nothings to pile on the criticism. It's like watching Herman Edwards rip someone elses coaching or seeing Rebecca Lobo rip someones lack of athleticism.

ESPN makes a bajillion dollars a minute, is some credible analysis to much to ask?

Uh, Okay Then

ESPN has announced that Jenni Finch is retiring after a 10 year career.

Now, if your wondering why ESPN announced the retirement of a 29 year old part time model, don't feel bad I had the same question.

Turns out they were referring to her softball career, which is even more confusing.

I vaguely remember her preempting real sports programming on ESPN back in the day during the College Softball World Series and then again sometimes with the United States national team. Surely there has to be more than that warrant an announcement right?

Nope.

To the best of my knowledge, there isn't a professional softball league in the world. As such, you can never stop being an amateur and that's the problem. You can't retire from being an amateur. Maybe you stop trying out for the national team but every time you pick up a bat at a family barbecue, technically you have retained amateur status. So why exactly has this non-story made front page headlines at ESPN.com? I don't recall them announcing the "retirements" of any other Olympic/amateur athletes?

I suspect it's ESPN trying to wring a little more blood out of Finch's stone. Bearing down on the ripe old age of 30, I'm guessing the swimsuit modeling jobs aren't in full effect and she probably was getting to be a long shot to make the national team anyway. Something tells me ESPN has big plans for her and the suddenly revamped and resigned Erin Andrews. However, wasting valuable web space on a nothing announcement does complete the time waste pentagram after The Decision, The ESPY's, Skip Bayless and Colin Cowherd. So that's a plus.

Duplicative Redundancy

I ask myself every year on this, the day after the All Star game, and I never get a good answer.

"Why exactly do we need the ESPY's?"

I understand that it's an awards show celebrating the accomplishments in athletics over the previous year. It seems though that each individual sport handles that on their own. Championship rings, banners, trophies, MVP, Golden Boot, Silver Slugger, Rookie of the Year, POY, team records, individual records, etc. all cover essentially the same ground as the ESPY's but in a more meaningful way. What is possibly to be gained for Drew Brees to win an ESPY? Time to throw away that ring baby, I've got an award named after a TV station!

In addition, these awards are the antithesis of sports. First of all, they are voted on instead of being won through actual achievement. That's why real sports are great and ice skating is more of an artistic endeavor. No ambiguity, just get on the pitch and win. These awards are given out by voting heads trying to put on a show. Brett Favre is making some kind of spectacle tonight, so that shows how meaningful it is.

Secondly, we've already covered how champions who win ESPY's probably don't care as they already have been recognized in their sports. The alternative is even worse though. If non-champions win an ESPY, they are essentially being rewarded for losing. I don't care if Peyton Manning is a great quarterback, he shouldn't even be considered for an award other than Choke of the Year for throwing that pick. I'm sure the pro-award lobby will try and defend this nonsense by explaining that individual achievements get overshadowed in team games and need recognition. I say bullshit. You show me Dan Marino, Cris Carter and Charles Barkley and tell me about their personal records and I'll show you 3 guys with no bling.

It's bad enough that we diminish everyones accomplishments in life by handing out a million participation trophies (which should be called the "Nice Job Getting Out of Bed Award") in amateur sports, do we really need to be handing them out to professionals too?

And how much air time does ESPN need to fill? LeBron gets an hour, the ESPY's gets no less than 11, Colin Cowherd somehow gets on, why can't I have an hour or two? I've got bad calls to discuss, conspiracies against the Raiders, roto league updates, panda watches, the Rick Reilly Insanity Countdown, the Skip Bayless march to murder, etc. Why not give it to me? At least that wouldn't be shameless self promotion by the World Wide Leader.