NFL Preview: Arizona Cardinals

QB: B+ Red Cross Lifetime Participant Award winner Kurt Warner returns for another season of concussion defying antics. If he plays all year they could return to the Super Bowl but a banana has a better chance of going 17 weeks with out a bruise. Matt Lienert sure is handsome with that clipboard.

RB: C- First round pick Beanie Wells was injury and fumble prone and sucked in college but I'm sure he'll be fine in the pros. Hightower proved last year that he can't hold the job. FANTASY ALERT: Hightower is a classic goal line vulture. It's about all he does really well.

WR: A+ Fitzgerald, Boldin, Breaston and Doucet are the best top four in the league, hands down. FANTASY TIP: In a 12 team league, Fitzgerald as a first rounder isn't crazy if you pick near the end and can pick up an RB at the top of round 2.

TE: C Anthony Becht makes me feel nothing inside. Doesn't matter anyway, why would you throw him the ball with all the other weapons. The caveat to this is if Leinert plays. He doesn't have the arm to go downfield so Becht could get some work then.

OL: C Meh. Glass Warner meet Mike Gandy, he'll be watching your blind side. Keep the paramedics on speed dial.

DL: C- Darnell Docket and Bertrand Berry are pretty good, I guess. The whole unit doesn't get much pressure on the QB.

LB: B- Karlos Dansby is the playmaker but even he doesn't put up great numbers. FUN FACT! Quickly reading the depth chart, I thought Chike Okeafor was actually named Chick Okeafor. Might not make a difference.

DB: B+ McFadden, Rolle, Wilson and Rodgers-Cromartie give up lots of big plays but they make big plays too. At least they have some size. Seems like every team has 2 guys shorter than me in the defensive backfield.

P/K: A Gotta love Neil Rackers. No idea who the punter is, so that's good.

COACHING: A Ken Whisenhunt. Can't complain with a trip to the big game under your belt. Losing the coordinators shouldn't hurt.

BEST CASE SCENARIO: 13-3, FIRST in the WEST. This division sucks.

WORST CASE SCENARIO: A stiff Arizona breeze gives Warner a concussion forcing Leinert to stop plowing thru starlets and actually play. ALCOA PRESENTS, YOU MAKE THE CALL! Leinert has a special groupie he refers to as "The Clipboard". True or Flase? YOU MAKE THE CALL!

RANDOM FACT OF INTEREST Mad Men star John Hamm is an actual, lifelong Cardinals fan. All of you bandwagon jumpers, the line starts behind Mr. Draper.