Showing posts with label Jay Cutler. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jay Cutler. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Oh, That's Where I Left My Petard!

It's amusing to see the media go into hyper analysis mode over Jay Cutler now that we know he had a partially torn MCL that kept him from finishing Sunday's game. It's really much more simple than what people make it out to be. It really only has two facets.

The first one os the injury itself. Yes a partial tear of the MCL isn't good. Yet we've seen numerous QB's play with debilitating leg injuries. We've all seen Elway, Marino, Montana, Leftwich, etc. finish games where they could barely move. That's not figuratively either. Post Achilles injury, Marino literally could not move. All these guys just put on a brace that locked the knee into place, got in the shotgun and let er rip. Lovie Smith said that the instability of the knee was why they took him out. Unless the trainers forgot knee braces, that excuse just doesn't cut it.

The second issue is Jay Cutler's attitude. He is a surely, ego maniacal, Jeff George/Ryan Leaf hybrid. He seems to always be trying to convince everyone of how great he is, how stupid they are or pouting over some perceived slight. Pouting seemed to be what he was doing while injured. My informal poll as to what was really wrong with him showed that most people thought he had a concussion given his detachment from the team. Now we know it was a one man pity party. For him to cry because his peers aren't showing him enough respect? Are you kidding? How many media members and players have you made it your goal to make their life miserable? You just can't treat people like they are unworthy to be around you then ask surprised when they give you a flaming tire at the first chance.

The bottom line is simple. Cutler may have a great arm but he is a world class douchebag and he came up small where the greats came up big. All while trying to tell us that he belonged in that upper echelon of all time QB's. You made your bed now lie in. He just needs to suck it up and quit pouting. If he has any guts at all, he'll come back big whenever the next season is.
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Thursday, November 12, 2009

Tragedy By The Bay

There was a unspeakable tragedy Thursday night in the Bay area and for once, it had nothing to do with Oakland.

As fans of San Fransisco's beloved 49ers flocked to the stadium to catch the game, all seemed well on this picturesque night.

Until the kickoff that is.

As soon as kicker Joe Nedney put foot to ball to start the contest, the entire playing field suddenly turned into a vast ocean of pure excrement, swallowing all aspects of humanity and, for tonight anyway, competitive sport.

The fans in attendance were shocked, stunned, appalled and driven to fits of physical violence and illness by the unholy display on what used to be hallowed gridiron.

San Fransisco PETA Chief and GLAAD enthusiast Maurice DeFranschitti, in attendance to protest the use of leather footballs on the field and blame George Bush for the increase in the price of water soluble lubricant, struggled to right his world. "These things NEVER happen in the animal kingdom. Only man can create a mountain of shit this big!" In an unfortunate twist of irony, DeFranschitti was then bitten by the rare Yellow-bellied marmot, driven insane by the intense methane fumes.

Many other fans simply had questions.

"Do you suppose they trucked in all this from Chicago or did they just borrow some of the excess in Sacramento?" one concerned conspiracy theorist asked, to nobody in particular.

The saddest event from a frightful night was the tale of an overweight, shit covered man wearing a tattered "6" Bears jersey. Early reports seem to indicate that the man is suffering from sever Downs Syndrome and his barely coherent rants seem to confirm that theory.

"HOW CAN YOU THROW 5 PICKS WHEN YOU ONLY ATTEMPT 4 PASSES?! IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! I LOVE SHEEP AND OYSTERS! TAKE ME BACK! TAKE ME BACK! I CAN GROW A BEARD!!!!!!"

A sad end to a miserable day. May God Almighty spare that man from the nightmare of his own existence.

Patrick T. McGarry, reporting.
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