The State is on the cusp of passing legislation that will allow people with concealed weapons permits to carry firearms into establishments that serve alcohol.
You heard right friend, guns and booze, side-by-side as God intended. Dive bars? No longer scary. Sports bars? Let's see that arrogant Red Sox fab run his yap so freely now. Strip clubs? . . . . . hmmm. Well, no legislation is perfect.
This seems too good to be true! Has Arizona really become the last bastion of individual liberty in the country? Before I excite myself to the point of twin tubs on a cliff, let's give the situation a quick once over:
In Arizona, you can still go to a bar and -
1. Drink poison. Delicious poison.
2. Listen to loud aggressive music.
3. Try and have sex with strangers.
4. Chaw.
5. Eat the worst food on Earth. Seriously, Ethiopians wouldn't eat that crap.
6. Bring your cannon in case things get ugly or you're trying to impress somebody (see item 3.).
Awesome!! Hmmm, somethings missing . . . . . . The list feels incomplete.
Oh, that's right. YOU STILL CAN'T SMOKE in a bar in Arizona.
Heart disease, deafness, syphilis, alcoholism, lip cancer and getting shot are all acceptable risks to the good people of Arizona but apparently firing up a heater within 20 feet of the door and some little prick might faint while his old lady gets in your face about "killing" her with second hand smoke. I suggest you hold your stogie in one hand and your gun in the other and see what scares her most.
Oh, we were so close to a reasonable State. I thought that surely a State that allows people to engage in behavior that can actually hurt themselves and others must certainly have gotten past pseudo-science, liberal myths that can't hurt anybody, right?
Alas, second hand smoke has reared its ugly head yet again to scare the ignorant and/or weak into ruining a nearly free slice of life.
Maybe one day people will realize that all smoking does is potentially kill the smoker quicker. Maybe one day people will realize that that's none of their damn business. Hopefully it'll happen soon.
Until then, I commend thee Arizona, despite your hypocritical stance on smoke, you've still managed to fight back against the tyranny of those people who can't mind their own business. You've reversed a national tide of group think and collective mediocrity in favor of individualism.
As I watch things explode all over the place this 4th of July, I will think of Arizona and smile, content with the knowledge that there are still places in this country that get what the holiday is all about.
Almost, anyway.
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