History in Thin Air

There has been a movement recently to demonize Michael Jordan's stance as a hard line owner in the NBA lockout. It seems he is in the group of owners who wants the players to take 47% of basketball related income and not the 50% that was offered or the 53% the players asked for.

Media pundits like Jason Whitlock and NBA'ers like Ron Artest and Stephon Marbury have accused Jordan of selling out the players. They seem to think that because they bought his shoes and idolized him that he should be more willing to give up his own share of the pie.

This is a delirious forgetting of who Jordan is. By all accounts Jordan is the most competitive athlete who ever lived. Anybody who needs reminding should find his Hall of Fame induction speech. For years all we heard was how Jordan was merciless in trying to beat opponents at everything. On the court, playing poker, golf, etc. all Jordan did was try and crush people. If you had the bad luck of being on his team and not helping him win then he would crush you too. Kwame Brown still hasn't recovered.

Yet now in a labor negotiation that will end with a clear winner and loser we expect Jordan to be charitable despite him never having shown any inclination to do so in the past. Right.

To look at this as Jordan selling out to join the owners is a mistake. Jordan plays for himself and always has. When he was a player he needed the team to win so he could be a winner. Now that he is an owner he needs the owners to win big so he can be a big winner too. Believe me if there was some third option that allowed Jordan to win bigger he'd choose that one in a heartbeat.

This isn't to say that Jordan is right or wrong, just that he's consistent. The character traits that made him the best on the court don't just disappear when he stops lacing them up. It's a pure delusion of the sellout chorus that it could ever be any other way. Now that the players have rejected the owners last 50/50 offer and are going to decertify, Jordan and his posse are going to dominate this thing. That's what really bothers Whitlock, Artest, et al. They can see what's coming. The owners are going to bury the players now that they've launched the decertification nuclear option and the idea of the evil rich owners winning again offends their sensibilities and makes the think less clearly. So they lash out at someone they think should be "with them" whether it's rational or not.

They can whine and complain all they want and at the end of this process, whether they lose a year playing or not, Jordan will be standing on top looking happily down at all the people he's just beaten down. Just like he's always done.

Buster Douglas or Just Another Buster?

I really would like to find a way to justify believing that Victor Ortiz can beat Floyd Mayweather Jr. this Saturday.

The odds are against it, 7-1 last time I checked, and the styles don't seem to add up to a good fight for Ortiz.

Ortiz isn't near as fast as recent Mayweather conquests Shane Mosley, Juan Manuel Marquez or Oscar De la Hoya. By all accounts he isn't a great tactical fighter. What he does have going for him is that he's young and can destroy people in the ring, provided he can corner them and get off before they escape his reach.

Sadly, by fighting style alone he would remind you of a younger Ricky Hatton, who was obliterated by Mayweather in 2007.

So what can I latch on to for hope? First of all Mayweather is getting old. 34 years old and 41 fights can take a lot out of a fighter. Probably doesn't matter here though. Second, as decorated as Floyd is he doesn't have one shot KO power. Most of his fights last a long time unless you happen to be Angel Manfredy. In the last 5 years he hasn't ended a fight in less than 10 rounds. It stands to reason that if Andre Berto couldn't knockout Ortiz with those shots then Mayweather can't either. That gives Ortiz enough time to put in some work and maybe unload one perfect shot.

Maybe more importantly, Ortiz is fueled by shame. And shame can be a powerful motivator.

By an reasonable account somebody should have thrown in the towel for Ortiz in that Maidana fight. He was getting crushed and could've been hurt. By quitting though he branded himself as weak of both body and mind. That would've been the end of most fighters but Ortiz has battled back to win the belt and survived another brutal fight against Berto. It makes you wonder of Ortiz is just fueled by a desire to redeem himself that's greater than Mayweather's desire for more money.

Short of some combination of pure grit and the perfect punch though I fear we have to endure more of the Mayweather reign at the top. More sizzle, less steak and more excuses to dodge Pacquiao until their both so old no one cares.

Be Bold Good Fool

James Carville got his panties in a knot today when a CNN "reporter" asked him what he would advise Obama to do in the face of political disaster. I know Carville talks all the time, never shuts up actually, but his advice to Obama makes him seem like more of a superfluous twat then normal.

Here are the steps he lined out:

1. Fire People - This certainly seems like a good idea, the people working in the White House are incompetent indeed and should be put out to pasture. The only problem is that Obama has canned a few people, Van Jones comes to mind, and has replaced them with equally incompetent know-nothings. Obama doesn't know any really talented people and even if he did he wouldn't have the sense to put them in power positions. He finds clones of himself and hires them. He's incompetent and so are they. Changing the names won't help unless you change who picks them.

2. Indict People - Carville is referring to Wall Street execs here because they of course are the scum of the earth and deserve to be lined up and shot for ruining the economy. Or so Carville thinks. The real truth is that any criminal investigation into bad economic practices would only lead back to Washington and hurt members of Congress. Chris Dodd and Barney Frank come to mind first but there is plenty of blame to go around, especially with Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac and Janet Reno threatening lenders over redlining. Carville thinks harassing execs who were responding to federal regulations will appease the people angry over the economy. Putting rich people in jail won't help poor people.

3. Make the Case Like A Democrat - Carville is saying that Obama should forcefully defend Keynesian economics, big spending liberal policy, instead of going along with Republican austerity programs. He cites some mythical world where we're doing worse now after spending cuts than we were doing during stimulus. The problem here is that we've never tried any austerity program here. Never. Big spending liberal policies have sadly ruled the day and everyone knows it. Even the Ryan plan was fairly timid in the face of the danger. The people know what we've been doing and O can't defend it with any credibility.

4. Hold Fast To An Explanation - This is a good idea. Flip flopping around on every issue looks weak and confuses the electorate. Unfortunately this is hard to do when you are actively trying to deceive people on topics you really know nothing about. None of his explanations work so he's just scattering shots hoping to hit something.

EXTRA - here are some of the attacks Carville wraps up the piece with, explaining his fear of a crazy person being elected:

creationism-loving: belief in God is mainstream.
global-warming denying: that's because its a lie.
immigration bashing: no, illegal immigration bashing.
Social Security cutting: would you rather tweak a program or have it become insolvent?
clean air hating: I assume he means greenhouse gases which are necessary for all life and quite different from smog.
Morally fascinating: I have no idea what this means. Pro-life maybe? Welfare reform? Standards at all?
Wall Street protecting: Have you seen who has been getting all of the stimulus money from Obama? Unions and Wall Street. All of it.

If conservatism can't flourish in the face of this kind of delusional incompetence then it never will.

Que Es Esto?

Watching the Cincinnati Bengals is a like watching Mexican League baseball. It looks and sounds like something familiar but if a donkey show broke out you wouldn't be shocked.

The off season game plan has been ridiculous even for Mike Brown standards. Brown has done a lot of stubborn things during his tenure regarding player holdouts and Carson Palmer moves to the top of that list.

I understand not wanting to empower players by caving to every demand. The difference here is that Carson Palmer sucks. He's been through for about three years now. The idea that anyone would entertain giving the Bengals a first round pick for that spent round is amazing. If Brown had swindled the Seahawks out of that haul he would be lauded as the greatest executive mind in the game today. Instead, Brown does nothing and remains the sad man he is.

So what have they been doing while they blew a chance to unload dead weight? Let their best DB (Joseph) go for nothing, turned over the team to Danny Bonaduce (Andy Dalton) and spent more than five bucks resigning a RB that hit the wall two years ago and is going to miss three weeks of the season serving a short stint in the can (Benson) and let the only two playmakers walk away on offense (Ocho & TO).

I suppose Brown could have done worse things to try and compete with the Steelers, Ravens and Browns but it's hard to imagine what. If he had any dignity he pay off the rest of that stadium himself instead of raping taxpayers. Then he find out what the University of Cincinnati was charging for home tickets and match that for Bengal tickets. Then again, if he had any dignity he wouldn't run this team that was exciting about 5 years ago into the ground again. The Brown name diminishes every day that he ruins the team.

World Wide Leader of Duh

Lord knows I'm no Tim Tebow apologist but good lord the caliber of people who feel entitled to tear him down is way down in the dregs.

It's bad enough to have talking heads like Jon Gruden and Ron Jaworski tearing apart QB's but how exactly did we come to the point where Merril Hoge, Mark Schlereth and Eric Mangini are somehow qualified to state without any doubt that Tebow should be taken out back and shot?

Hoge was a slightly above average fullback who suffered massive concussions and had to retire.

Schelerth was a offensive lineman best know for puking before games out of fear and smelling to holy hell.

Mangini was the genius behind the Jets debacle that was righted by one of the Ryans as well as the Brady Quinn, Derek Anderson nonsense in Cleveland.

Tebow is the classic example of losing your sponsor. He was drafted by Josh McDaniel knowing it would take 3 years to get him ready. McDaniel gets fired and suddenly everyone is shocked that Tebow can't beat out Orton right after a lockout.

If John Elway and John Fox don't want him, then fine. They didn't draft him. ESPN needs to have a little more dignity than to trot these 3 know nothings to pile on the criticism. It's like watching Herman Edwards rip someone elses coaching or seeing Rebecca Lobo rip someones lack of athleticism.

ESPN makes a bajillion dollars a minute, is some credible analysis to much to ask?

And On The Seventh Day . . . . . . .

Thank God the Raiders announced today that they decided to give a former Browns castoff 29 million in guaranteed money.

Until Kamerion Wimbley inked his deal I thought somebody forgot to tell Al the lockout was over.

As far as I can tell that's the only significant move the Silver and Black have made so far. I realize that the team had a non-losing season for the first time in a decade but it seems to me that an 8-8 team that lost its best player (Nnamdi Asomough) and is working on losing its only good vertical threat (Zach Miller) can't afford to stand still.

When a team climbs the crap ladder all the way up to mediocre they can either take the next step up to competitive or fall back down just as easy. The way things stand now they are going into the season with DHB, Jacoby Ford, the Ghost of Chaz Scheilens and Johnnie Lee Higgins in the passing game and Stanford Routt, Mike Mitchell, Chris Johnson and Tyvon Branch in the defensive backfield.

To put it simply, they have an offense built for ground-and-pound and a defense that turns every opposing offense into the run-and-shoot. There was no way they could get Nnamdi back but they needed to strike quick to fill the spot. Nate Clements, one of the Cromarties, Carlos Rodgers could have all helped. Now the best DB on the market is maybe Asante Samuel who unfortunately is zone coverage artist and would be useless in Al's beloved press coverage.

The offense is even worse. The best WR option out there is Braylon Edwards for god's sake. We've seen DHB drop enough passes that hit him right in the face. Those two on the field together could be dangerous.

I hope some good players get cut in cap situations that Al can sneak in and snatch up. Otherwise, the teams been stuck in time for a whole year while everyone else got better.

Now For Something Really Useless

Even in the limitless expanse that is the Internet it is still technically possible to waste valuable space.

The UK Independent is actually spending time and effort trying to analyze the political situation in Iran. Apparently the nut job little dictator over there has gotten himself in some hot water and is probably going to be replaced by some other nut job dictator.

The article goes into detail about the elections that brought Mahmoud into power, what his cabinet has been doing, yada, yada, yada.

What is the point of analyzing elections and polititions in a rigged system? The only people who can get elected there are people that the Ayatollah gives the ok to. One nut job religious psycho gives the big thumbs up to an army of little nut job politicians. They don't have any real power, can't really makes decisions and if they try they end up in a world of hurt. Only 13 unlucky virgins in paradise kind of hurt. That's why the coverage of Irans "protests" were so laughable. They acted like Mahmood stole that last "election" from the Persian MLK. Reform was just right around the corner if only Mir Hossein Moussavi had found a couple hanging chads somewhere.

We do all realize that he was a nut job too right? Seriously press, at what point do you guys just start running old stories from the 80's about Iran? They're all the same, just change the names; oil, oil, oil, Great Satan, Jews . . . . . . .

The best you can say about these things is that they're amusing. So desperate are the media to have a dictator to love that the just tie themselves into a knot trying to paint Raul Castro, Daniel Ortega, Hugo Chavez, etc. in a positive light. It's like watching a three-legged dog trying to catch his own tail. A little funny and a little sad all at the same time.

When they finally get around to lauding the lack of obesity in North Korea then I'll start paying attention again. Until then I'm just going to watch some Telemundo and see if I can figure out why the midget with the axe is chasing a girl in a bikini whose riding a pig in a tuxedo. Seems like a more productive usage of my time.

Concrete Nikes

Sometimes even I hate the right-wing media machine.

It came out today that one of the things discussed for debt reduction is the military budget. Of course came the predictable nashing of teeth beating of chests.

What can the argument be that military funding is off the table? As far as I can tell, people who make this argument are pushing one of two theories. First, the military is efficient to the point where it operates without waste. Second, that even if there is waste, to eliminate it would somehow make them combat ineffective.

Nonsense. While the military is the military, it is also government. It is also bureaucracy. Millions and billions of dollars of waste and fraud and grist go hand in hand with those things. The defense budget should be looked over and have the fat cut from it, just like every other part of the national budget.

One thing these teeth nashers are right about though is that the GOP shouldn't agree to this just for the hell of it. If we are going to cut the military then we're going to cut food stamps, welfare, research grants, NEA grants, social security, MediCade/Care, foreign aid and every other thing that this country spends its money on.

If all of these things don't get cut then don't cut the defense either. If some strange sequence of events leads to real budget slashing then the defense budget will have to be on the block as well of course. No trading on faith alone.

Uh, Now What?

The NBA draft has come and gone and the Orlando Magic haven't really done anything of note.

This is a bad sign for Magic fans everywhere. Despite the recent success of the team, the future looks none too bright and it starts with the salary cap.

For this past year it was right around 58 million and Orlando clocked in with a final payroll of 89 million. What pieces did this lavish spending buy?

Dwight Howard at 16.6 is as good a deal as you can get but the rest of the roster is scary.

Agent Zero - 17.7
Hedo - 10.2
Jameer - 7.8
JJ Redick - 7.2

That's 42.9 million dollars on guys you can't win a championship with if they're in your top 3 best players. Combine that with Dwight's 16.6 and your spending 59.5 million on a terrible team. Combine that awful financial statement with the fact that the cap is probably going to be go down after the new CBA and it seems impossible that Orlando can fix this thing.

They only have one hope and that is for the new CBA to have an Allen Houston rule where you can wipe one salary off the cap, even though you still have to pay it. If Otis Smith reaches the conclusion that Dwight has to be traded, which is likely, then he must strong arm some team into taking Gilbert Arenas too. You could make the case that Hedo would be good enough but if the team gives up Dwight they need the relief. It'd be better to let Dwight leave for nothing than to trade him alone.

If you can get Howard and Zero gone through trade and erase Hedo through the Allen Houston Rule you've trimmed 44.5 off the payroll. They should also let Reddick and Nelson go for as little in return as possible and that would save another 15 mil.

Of course that doesn't include what you take back. If the trade happened with the Lakers and Orlando got back 2 or 3 out of Gasol, Bynum and Odom, the salary back would be between 21-38 million, depending on who you get. That still leaves the team with a hefty payroll but if you can trade 44.5 million of Howard, Zero and Hedo and replace that with 38 million of Bynum, Odom and Gasol, not only do you still save money but you can actually win with that core. Depending on what Boston does, Orlando would either be the third or fourth best team in the east behind Chicago and Miami. Assuming the new lower cap doesn't force Miami to cut one of the 3 out.

The Bottom line is that Orlando needs to get younger, cheaper and better. They crapped out in the playoffs because nobody could score. If you keep Dwight you have to hold onto those bad contracts for another 2-3 years and you simply can't change the roster enough to make a run at winning. Better to lose you best player than lose four years of competitiveness.

New York, New York

The Yankees have a few problems but one glaring one could be solved by the incompetence of the Mets.

As hard as it is to face, Derek Jeter has become a real liability. Bad enough where it needs to be addressed. The problem with The Captain isn't his lack of mobility in the field, it's on offense. He can't drive the ball anymore and his on base percentage is terrible. He can't be slotted in anywhere in the top 6 of the lineup and is probably best suited for the 9 hole in front of Gardner.

This is a real blow because if he can't hit, he can't be moved to the outfield or DH.

Luckily, the Mets have continued to suck and need to unload Jose Reyes. The Yankees need to make a serious play for him.

The only problem is whether or not the Mets would try and hijack the Yanks because of the cross town rivalry. In a reasonable world, a package of Nunez and prospect Jesus Montero should get the job done.

Many Yankee fans might see it as too high a cost considering the hype around Montero. The only problem is that Montero doesn't have a position. He can't catch and the Yankees also have Auatin Romine and Gary Sanchez in the catching pipeline. He could play 1B but only if you unload Texiera. He could also DH but the team needs that spot for its aging sluggers who can't play the field. It's only a matter of time before A-Rod becomes the full time DH anyway.

One thing the Yankees should not do is trade the young pitchers Banuelos or Betances. Maybe not even Noesi or Brackman. It's been so long since the Yankees had any respectable young pitching (Phil Hughes and Joba don't count) that they can't panic and dump them into a deal for a position player.

The bottom line is that the Yankees can't win consistently with Jeter playing everyday, hitting leadoff or second. The Mets are incompetent and desperate and if the Yankees can grab Reyes, they absolutely should. Jeter is going to have to face his Posada-esque revelation sooner or later. Might as well be sooner.

Seems Reasonable

I'm not sure the UK Telegraph understands the meaning of the word paranoid.

They've written a story on how the pressure of the NATO bombings is starting to get to Gaddafi who has started moving from hospital to hospital in an attempt to save his life. The paper quotes unnamed diplomats who describe Gaddafi as "paranoid."

The Telegraph just keeps right on truckin with their story. Had it been me writing the story, I might have stopped for a sentence of two to explain to the reader that if a person sees NATO bombing everything of value in his country, including his own house, then being worried about being killed is a rather prudent concern and not "paranoia".

Wouldn't it be more ridiculous if he were acting differently? Bombs falling all around him and takes the dog for a walk or spends a quite day at home with one of his army of lady police?

I have no beef with NATO trying to take out Gaddafi, by and large he seems like something the world won't miss, but the media at least should give the guy the dignity of not branding him as a delusional paranoid for thinking we're trying to kill him when he's exactly right.

Speaking of Gaddafi, what's more ridiculous, the fact that he's still just a colonel or that he still insists that his army of surgically enhanced bodyguards are all virgins? The next dictator who shows restraint and decor around the ladies will be the first. besides, he's got 72 virgins waiting for him in the next life, no need to stockpile them in this one.

Use Your Head, Just Not That One

The hyper leftists in San Francisco have moved one step closer to an electoral "victory."

In these bleak economic times, the City will get to decide in November whether or not circumcision should be banned as genital mutilation. Just like they do it in Africa!

Right. The fact that liberals want to have the government regulate and eliminate parental choices and religious practices (unless they're Muslim) is no great shocker but it seems as if nobody realizes the screaming contradiction here.

Outlawing circumcision in one of the most tranny friendly cities in America? How in the world can people with even the slightest hold on reality come to this position? That a parent deciding to circumcise his kid for hygienic or religious reasons is somehow a fanatic barbarian while some wispy eighteen year old who wants to have a doctor flay his junk into a sparkling new vagina is somehow not only sane but a hero for realizing that God mistakenly put Suzie into Steve? Good lord.

Don't get me wrong, if a tranny wants to go all the way, have at it. There shouldn't be laws against it but the people of San Francisco are drawing a very crooked line in the moral sand regarding what we can do with our genitalia. Now, it's possible to have a legitimate opposition to circumcision. But when a city has publicly declared that they are going to indulge such radical elective surgical procedures, they lose the ability to take a moral stand against one that is minuscule by comparison.

The silver lining to this is that San Francisco must have figured out how to escape both the national financial crisis and the financial stranglehold that California puts on its cities. There can be no other explanation for why a city would even entertain this kind of nonsense. When people talk about government waste, they are almost always talking about money spent for some project but what about the cost of time wasted? Some government hack had to type this up, compose it for print, print it up, etc., etc. I hope when all the down and out in that city are being told that there is no more money for government cheese, housing assistance or discounted heating oil that they remember that at some point their elected official had to sit down and make sure that the people got to vote on whether to allow circumcisions.

The Examined Life

As a man moves into his 30's, he starts to reflect on aging and what it means. I'm no different and as I did some deep reflecting on my life and myself as a person, I came to the realization that the Raiders haven't had a franchise quarterback since I was born.

Surely this had to be a mistake, I said to myself, so I looked it up.

1980 - Jim Plunkett
1981 - Marc Wilson
1982 - Jim Plunkett
1983 - Jim Plunkett
1984 - Marc Wilson
1985 - Marc Wilson
1986 - Jim Plunkett
1987 - Marc Wilson
1988 - Jay Schroeder
1989 - Vince Evans, Steve Beuerlein, Jay Schroeder (none played enough to qualify for the passing title)
1990-1992 - Jay Schroeder
1993-1996 - Jeff Hostetler
1997 - Jeff George
1998 - Donald Hollas
1999-2003 - Rich Gannon
2004-2005 - Kerry Collins
2006 - Andrew Walter
2007 - Daunte Culpepper
2008 - JaMarcus Russell
2009 - JaMarcus Russell
2010 - Jason Campbell

Dear god that is awful. How on earth did they get to the AFC title game in 1991 riding the cannon of Jay Schroeder and the mind of Art Shell? Inconceivable. I would argue that there isn't one franchise guy on the list. Plunkett is good but there's a reason he was dumped by the Pats. If those Raider teams weren't loaded, he would've been terrible there too.

The Rich Gannon era is the only possible time the Raiders might have had a franchise QB. The stats back it up and the went to the Super Bowl once. But really, if a guy doesn't play until he's 36 and is successful mostly because Jon Gruden was a genius, can you really call him a franchise QB? I think as good as Gannon was, that was because we had a franchise coach, not a stud QB.

As sad as this list is, knowing that you can't win in the NFL without a QB, I choose to look at the Silver lining. No longer will I ask myself why we've sucked for the better part of two decades, I'll just look at this list and marvel that we even managed to win 4 games a year. With this level of ineptitude at the most important position, the team should have been disbanded or moved to Cleveland long ago. Seriously, Don Hollas? Jeff George? I didn't even have the heart to put in Todd Marinovich. Even the putrid Bengals got Boomer Esiason and Carson Palmer pre-knee explosion. As legendary a list of grade A suck this list is, the fact that they managed a few playoff appearances and a title game seems like an undeserved bounty.

Assuming there's football this year, it'll be refreshing to watch Jason Campbell take the field to hold the ball to long and know that this performance is historically near the top of the barrel. That and a 12 pack should take the edge right off.

The Last Frontier?

I realize that the media is always looking for the next big story about overcoming societies prejudices and bias but the media is going overboard today.

Two stories broke today about gays in sports, one somewhat significant the other not really news at all.

The first one I saw was that Will Sheridan had come out as gay. For those who don't remember, Sheridan was a pretty good power forward for Villanova. His story is pretty straightforward, when he came out to his team, they were cool with it and most of the opposing crowds didn't make an issue of it except for the scholars at St. Joe's. Granted, it wasn't all easy, his father didn't speak to him for a year after he was told. Aside from that though, his revelation doesn't seem so traumatic. There will always be people who criticize you for something you are, especially in a sports arena.

Looking at it objectively, Sheridan's story seems like a victory for society. A visible athlete comes out of the closet as gay and is met with mostly acceptance and indifference. Isn't that what we are looking for as a society? Knowing that there is always that small percentile who will hate for no good reason, isn't indifference and acceptance what we should want? I think so.

That's what makes the next story so needlessly publicized.

Today Phoenix Suns President Rick Welts also came out of the closet as gay, believed to be the first high ranking sports official to come out of the closet. I understand how in the testosterone fueled world of pro sports that coming out as gay as an active player is treacherous business but are we supposed to believe that being a paper pushing office worker is so high stakes that being the first gay one to come out is groundbreaking because it's tangentially related to sports? This seems about as relative as the first gay beer vendor coming out of the closet.

This isn't to minimize the importance of the event for Welts however. I'm sure I don't have any idea what it's like to feel like you had to hide something like that, although I suspect being a Republican in college is a similar burden. My only question is why do we need a breaking news ticker to announce that a paper pushing bureaucrat is gay? Surely if the star athlete, black guy from the mean streets of Philly can get through being gay relatively unscathed, the lilly white executive in Tucson should be a yawner.

I know it goes against all the liberal sensibilities but we should really take a small victory lap here. Public acceptance of gays is pretty high these days. Nothing ever gets 100% accepted but when people shrug their shoulders at the news that you're gay, that's the sign of progress. If gay marriage is what's making this perception of intolerance persist then that's unfortunate. That's an issue that has become a political and religious wedge issue despite that fact that it has no practical impact on society these days.

I guess the last true frontier is for an openly gay, active major leaguer to come out. Even that is probably scarier in theory than in reality. Whenever these ex-players come out as gay, most of their teammates seem to have figured it out already. Hopefully the positive, non-reaction to today's dual outings will convince any gay that they can just be gay and that they have reached a level of acceptance where it is no longer required to hold a press conference for such a thing. I think most people are there already.

Here You Go Lefty

It's about time to raise taxes.

That's right I said it. I'm fully in favor of raising taxes on the 50% of this country that have become goldbrickin freeloaders under our current policy.

In the interest of full disclosure, I'm pretty sure that with all the tax credits and deductions I get, I'm in that percentage of people who either pay no federal income tax or actually profit from it.

Truly absurd. How can a representative republic function when half the people feel no repercussions of the financial decisions of the country? They must think free market capitalism is the greatest thing since the Communist Manifesto. They pay taxes all year, then get a bigger check back at the end of the year. Just like Adam Smith drew it up.

The tragic part of our tax system is how easy it would be to fix. You could make it real easy and just impose a flat tax or some kind of national sales tax in place of the income tax but that doesn't seem politically feasible at this point. Even if we're tied to the idea of the progressive tax code, it's still easy to fix.

The only parameters that should be followed are that nobody gets screwed, everybody participates. Here's how I would set the brackets:

$1 - $25,000 = 5%
$25,001-$100,000 = 7%
$100,001 - $$700,000 = 14%
$700,001 - $infinity = 19%

See how easy that is? Nobody gets out of the teens in what gets taken from them, no deductions, exemptions, double taxation. You make money, you pay a small percent. No need for a massive IRS or tax preparers.

And what of business taxes you say? Here's the breakdown for that tax:
$1 - $infinity = 2%

Let's see how many people open factories in China when they get to keep the vast bulk of their money by keeping the business here.

This would probably be a policy that would have been in place already if liberals weren't so hell bent on punishing success so they can bride constituents with free rides. The only consolation at this point is that our current system where 50% of the people do nothing is economically unsustainable and heading for a collapse. it's unfortunate that we're going to take the world's economy down with us but if it allows us all to hit the reset button and set up a reasonable system maybe it'll be for the best.

How About A Staycation Instead?

As sad as it is that the poor young man from Britain was beaten to death inside a Dubai prison, my first question isn't "oh my god, what happened?"

We know what happened. The Dubai police caught themselves a pale skin, threw him in jail and beat him to death for the hell of it. This is what's referred to as "standard operating procedure" in that part of the world. The only silver lining to this murdery cloud is that if he had lived longer, he probably would've been raped as well. You know, before he was murdered. Perhaps a quick end was a merciful thing.

The real question is, why do people keep vacationing in the Middle East? It never ceases to amaze me how many westerners get arrested over there while they were hiking. Really? Couldn't find a better trail than in Syria? Do they have a nice riverwalk in Pakistan? What's the deal? I'm starting to think that maybe all the paranoid mullahs over there are right and all these people are really CIA plants trying to start revolutions. It makes more sense than poor vacation choices.

I understand that Dubai is quite nice to look at but is there anything besides that? It seems like most people like to go to beach resorts so they can have some drinks, do a little partying and hopefully mingle with some scantily clad merrymakers of the opposite sex. Why would you go to a place where all of this is illegal? The Middle East is like the bizarro Tijuana. Tijuana is a hell hole where everything is legal while Dubai is a paradise where everything fun is punishable by death.

Seems like the government dropped the ball on this one too. Every other day I get a news alert that the State department is recommending not travelling to Texas or Mexico for fear of being decapitated by a drug cartel. Has there just been a blanket middle east warning in place since 1954 that the State department has forgotten to mention in a while? What kind of shame is it for Mexico that people would rather go to sharia controlled lands than step one foot in Acapulco.

I've got an answer for everyone who has vacation money but doesn't know where to go. Here's the list, just pick whichever one is closest or cheapest for you. Brazil - sure they have some rough spots but the government knows how to keep gringos from going to astray. Stay with the sexy ladies and trannys and you'll be fine. Australia - Far away but nobody beach parties like the Aussies. You snobs can go right to New Zealand and leave everyone else alone. Finally, Italy - The President of the country regularly throws bunga bunga parties staffed by a slew of hookers and the number one aspiration for college aged girls is to be TV eye candy. Their economy is also in the toilet so they're desperate for your money. Bottom line, you can do whatever you want then head to the Vatican to look for forgiveness. You're welcome merrymakers and nature enthusiasts. Now stop going to places that have a vested interest in killing you. Knowledge is power!

Sponsored by Ambien

How many times do we have to see a politician fall asleep during another politicians speech before somebody on the staff decides to do something about it?

For those of you that missed it, Joe Biden took himself a little cat nap during Obama's mixed tape to communist tax hikes. I realize that the combination of a boring Obama speech and the abject mookery of Joe Biden are a recipe for disaster but this speech has been planned for days. It's not like Obama had to give a late night speech because we invaded Monaco or something, it was a lunch time speech. Did Joe hammer a sixer of Grolsch with his Rueben at lunch? Is he just so old that he can't stay awake? Maybe he just had a long night of Quaaludes and whores. Who can tell.

The real criminals in this scenario is Joe's staff. How can they not prep this guy for TV? Recommend a little coffee, do a few jumping jacks, take a nap, anything. Seriously, these guys are from DC. They can find an 8-ball to get through the rough spots. Joe Biden may be the least busy Vice President of all time. As near as I can tell, he has no job to speak of. That means his staff has nothing to do either. The simple chore of remaining conscious should be near the top of the "to-do" list every morning, right after prank calling John Boehner and just before feeding his cat.

If this were me, I'd fire everyone on the payroll and start over with an NBA style posse. You need the drug man, the chick wrangler, 3 scary guys to look tough and yell supportive things randomly (delusional claims also help) and someone to deal with the police. I suggest Big Joe start rolling with Marion Berry (drugs), John Edwards (chicks), Sheila Jackson-Lee, Al Sharpton, George Miller (thugs) and Chuck Schumer (Jewish lawyer). Sad that Ted Kennedy passed on, he could have filled 2 or 3 of those spots by himself. Either way, Joe could gain a little respect by not randomly passing out in public. Heed the words.

Where Were You?

Where were you when The Resurrection happened?

Where were you when a once great but broken man, rose from the fiery ashes, stormed onto the hallowed ground that had once been his kingdom? Where were you when he steeled his gaze, gripped his armaments and laid waste to all those opposed. Where were you when a man, ne God looked out upon the battlefield and brought down fury from the heavens, destroying all those who had opposed him before riding off in a golden chariot pulled by winged horses made of pure fire and awesomeness!?

Where were you when that same guy got the yips, choked and finished fourth behind three guys whose own mothers didn't bother to tune in? That's right, I'm sick of all the Tiger slurping going on. (note to readers - do not google "tiger slurping". carry on.)

If you were to only listen to the coverage of The Masters or read Bill Simmons ridiculous article on Tiger, you would have thought he had won or actually achieved something. Apparently golf is so pathetic that having Tiger play 3 good rounds over a tournament is cause for celebration. Apparently just having Tiger back to talk about is enough to fall to our knees and thank the almighty (Nike, I assume) that "The Gift" has returned to us all.

Nothing that happened over the weekend is going to make me forget that Tiger hasn't won anything, anything, since getting flattened by a broke knee and a river of skanks. It did prove to me that while Tiger still has the talent, he longer has the nerve. He's no longer feared either.

There was a time when as soon as Tiger came back and tied up for the lead, all the other contenders would have fallen apart. Especially the no name younguns he was in the mix with. While putting has never been Tiger's strongest suit, you could bank on him nailing the birdie or eagle that he needed, especially in a major, especially at The Masters. He had numerous chances on Sunday to drive the nail into the coffin of the field, most notably the 4 foot eagle attempt which he completely bricked. Chuck Knoblauch thinks he choked. And how great was Tiger anyway, in the pressure?

Let's check the last 7 holes of the leaderboard:

Woods - 1 birdie, 1 bogey, 5 pars (E)
Scwartzel - 4 birdies, 3 pars (-4)
Scott - 2 birdies, 5 pars (-2)
Day - 4 birdies, 3 pars (-4)
Donald - 4 birdies, 2 bogeys, 1 par (-2)
Ogilvy - 5 birdies, 2 pars (-5)
McElroy - 1 double, 1 bogey, 5 par (+3) (sorry, had to include him)

What I see here is that the supposedly "back" Tiger Woods climbed back into contention because McElroy pulled the pin on his own personal grenade, then he got outclassed. Tiger didn't even play as well as the people he was tied for fourth with, not even close. Don't people realize that this was his best course? What do we expect to happen at the far less forgiving US or British Open? -10 in Augusta is a +28 at Bethpage or St. Andrews.

All this was, was the same Tiger we've seen since the comeback. Flashes of greatness, terrible putting, no aura and an inability to play four solid rounds in a row. He can't even play one round without some horrible gaff. When Eilen hit him upside his dome all those months ago, she turned him into Phil Mickleson before all the majors when he was just Hefty out there trying to "tin cup" his way around the course.

All these media people should be ashamed at how in the bag they are for Tiger. They're further in the bag for Tiger than Chris Mathhews is for Obama. I personally have no gripe with Tiger either way I just happen to have this crazy notion that people should actually accomplish something before the get the spoils of achievement. And I expect the media to not act like a bunch of junior high boys who just noticed girls for the first time. Crazy I know. You all owe this Schwartzel guy an apology. He actually won something and people could give a crap. Be sure and get Tiger's permission first though, wouldn't want to upset the MealTicket.

Next Up, Wilt!

Rather than watch that debacle of a national title game, I decided to watch some hockey.

It has been a pretty good game so far, if you're a Sharks fan, and San Jose is up 6-1 at the second intermission.

What isn't good is the deification of Joe Thornton. Apparently Joe's goal in the second gave him 999 points for the career, almost at the mythical 1,000.

After listening to how great a feat it was for half a period I could only ask myself one question. "Has anyone done more meaningless scoring than Joe Thornton outside of Hugh Hefner?"

Seriously, the highlight reel of big Joe goals in December is long. The highlight reel of Joe's playoff heroics is actually a snuff film that someone is trying to hide behind a fake label.

San Jose has been one of the most disappointing teams in recent playoff memory, melting down repeatedly as a high seed. Bringing Joe over from the Bruins was supposed to solve all that. Turns out San Jose made a mark on Joe, not the other way around.

I put this milestone in the same category as Drew Bledsoe being 9th on the all time passer list, Steve DeBerg being high on the wins/TD list or sabermetrics in general. Yes I see your numbers. They lie. My eyes tell me all I need to know and I'd happily trade all 999 of those points for one decent play in the finals.

Number Two Is Right

On the eve of Opening Day, a great day where hundreds of people gather to watch a summer game in the snow, I have some concerns about my beloved Yankees.

The first regards The Captain, Derek Jeter. All I've been hearing all training camp is about how he has removed the slide step from his hitting style in an attempt to play catch up to the fastball. What I haven't been hearing is how he has been tearing the cover off the ball this spring. All that can mean is that last year wasn't a fluke. When a 36 year old decides to start tinkering with his mechanics to hit the most common pitch in the game, it just screams "I'm washed up!" Changing positions isn't going to help either if he can't hit anymore.

Speaking of bad mechanics and being washed up, A.J. Burnett has now gone 34 consecutive years of life looking for a way to get a consistent delivery and release point. I guess he has adjusted his leg kick in an effort to keep his pitches from randomly turning into BP balls in the middle of games. Shouldn't a pitcher who has made it to the bigs ironed out the delivery for about a decade now? How many examples do we have of a pitcher changing his windup, then skyrocketing off to success? All the talk about the rotation has been about the 4 & 5 spots but we all do realize what it means to have AJ as the two right? He needs to win at least 16 games and have a sub 4 ERA for the Yanks to be competitive for the playoffs. I'm not sure you can count on 18 from Hughes again and the Nova/Garcia/Colon/Milwood pupu platter probably has the over/under set at about 25 wins and I'm not sure I would go with the over on that one.

I realize that being overly nervous is a Yankee tradition but how good should anyone feel when two key cogs to the machine have decided to redo the mechanics of the job? I would also point out that any bullpen that has both Joba and Pedro Feliciano in it is ripe for destruction.

Having said all that, I do think the Yanks take the wildcard. The Red Sox are not going to be near as good as people think they will be. A lot of what Crawford is good at is negated by the goofy dimensions of that ballpark and Dice-K, Beckett and Lackey are just about done. The real reason the Yanks should still be in the playoffs is that the Rays are significantly worse. No Soriano and the everyday lineup features Johnny Damon and ManRam. Plus, they think Kyle Farnsworth can close. I guess every team in the league has to make that mistake once.

The Chosen One Spoketh, Then A Black Hole Consumed All That Was

It really is my own fault. I joined in the chorus of people that were calling for President Obama to explain himself in his actions regarding Libya.

Today he did.

Basically his speech said that the United States had to intervene in Libya because "it was in the national interest", "to prevent a humanitarian catastrophe" and because not acting would "have been a betrayal of who we are." Awesome. That explanation is so high minded and convoluted that if you were to take it literally, the United States would be morally obligated to throw up a no-fly zone over about 60% of the globe.

Rather than just admire in it's childlike nature, it's best to tackle it head on. Libya is is no way the United States national interest. Sure they have oil but so do lots of people. George Bush scared them into abandoning their nuke program and they are not at the top of the terrorist sponsor countries. Saudi Arabia, Iran, Iraq, Pakistan and Afghanistan are all more important to the national interest than Libya. And that's just the Middle East. China, Russia, N. Korea, Mexico and Japan are all much higher priority than Libya. So who does care about Libya? Europeans. For reasons I haven't fully researched, Europe seems to have a lot of money and resources tied up in Libya. By that I mean oil. Maybe they thought Qaddafi was easier to deal with than some of the other nutjob dictators. Who knows. But they are in deep and that's why anyone cares. Obama got himself roped into this because he couldn't withstand the pressure from the French.

Prevent the humanitarian catastrophe. Please. Sure, the government was killing people but to be fair there was a fully armed opposition that was trying to instigate a revolution. Nobody likes dictators but you have to expect them to defend themselves. How can Obama even mention the "humanitarian catastrophe" while Darfur and North Korea still get to operate as they please? How many Africans and Bosnians, etc. have been allowed to massacre each other without NATO, the UN or people like Obama batting an eye? You could stage an invasion of North Korea any day of the week and be completely justified. Why don't we? Well, we gave them nukes so that's a problem. Besides, they don't have oil and Europe doesn't care about starving Koreans. Obama is just trying to find cover to appease his Kucinichesque cadre of bleeding heart pacifists that can't understand why gitmo is still open and Obama is killing more Muslims.

How would Obama even know who Americans are? He has spent most of life community organizing which has as it's primary goal the destruction of the traditional American free market capitalist system of economics. Like it or not, the United States was founded because of money and the desire for people to get their hands on it. The idea being that if you could get your hands on it, you could keep it. Obama's whole ideology believes that if you have money, it should be forcibly taken away from you and given to those who didn't earn it. It's awful presumptuous for Obama to try and project American values overseas when all he tries to do is undermine them at home. That's what all that hope and change was about. The values Obama is truly projecting overseas are European ones. He shares far more common ground with their way of thinking than traditional American political thought. Even for liberals he's out there.

Maybe it's better when Obama just doesn't talk about stuff. Maybe his advisers knew that too and that's why he's been so quiet lately. Deafening silence is better than what we got today. That speech today was so patently a contrived speech intended to mollify critics that it was embarrassing. He knows it wasn't true. We know, everyone knows. To actually say that crap makes him either a liar or a fool. Better to just keep quite after all.

200 Million Dollar Question

It's hard to believe but spring training is nearly done and Opening Day is exactly one week away.

This revelation sent me into a predictable, early panic. Did i have enough bacon, ground beef and sharp cheddar? Should I go with brauts instead? Ribs? Is it really ethical for me to drink tall boys and barbecue all day when technically it's my "work from home day"? Heady questions indeed. For the record, I think I might go with burgers and ribs and just skip the potato salad all together.

A bigger panic though came shortly thereafter when I realized I had no idea who was gonna be pitching for the Yanks. People have been writing for weeks about the battle for the number 4 & 5 slots in the rotation. That assumes of course that AJ Burnett can hold on to the number 2 spot. I personally think AJ is a couple of bad outings from hanging out with Kaz Igawa and Fat Toad Hideki Irabu.

Ignoring that disturbing fact though still leaves the bottom of the rotation. By all accounts Ivan Nova has been awesome in the spring and has locked up the number 4 spot. I must say it's nice to finally have a pitcher under 30 to develop that isn't Phil Hughes. I think I can rest easy there.

What'll keep me up at nights, metaphorically anyway, is that the number 5 spot has seen the legendary Sergio Mitre and Freddy Garcia beaten out by . . . . Bartolo Colon. You might remember him from his Cy Young season of 1984. He's been throwing great, there's no doubt about it but good lord look at him. It looks like all the fat C.C. Sabathia lost hooked up with Rich "El Guapo" Garces and their unholy progeny turned into this iteration of Bartolo.

I realize that you don't have to be the picture of health. The Babe plowed through hookers and booze at a Lawrence Taylor-esque rate and that was just in between innings. But there's fat and then there's unhealthily fat. David Wells was a big fat jackass but he never looked like he was going to die in the middle of a pitch. Hell, El Guapo looked damn near childlike on the mound. Every time I see Colon throw a pitch I'm convinced he's just keep on going through his follow through right into the grave. And this at the end of spring training! He's supposedly in game shape.

I hope I'm wrong but I can't see him lasting all year taking the bump regularly. They should just have him and Garcia split every fifth game. One week Bartolo gets 5 innings and Garcia 4, then switch the next time through. That's gotta be better than trying to get 200 relief innings out of Joba and Pedro Feliciano every time Bartolo throws 115 pitches through 4 1/3 and has to be yanked.

That Was Fast

So . . . . . . are we done with Libya already?

It seems like only days ago that the French were kicking ass and taking names. The Brits were on board, the Germans were finally on the good side of a conflict and we all got to see footage of Tomahawk missiles being shot off of naval ships. Awesome, awesome, awesome.

Now what? Nobody in NATO will even admit we're in a conflict, the Germans took their ball and went home, the French disappeared (did they surrender to Libya?) and Obama's just gonna try and get past the whole thing.

I have a sneaking suspicion that the reason we seemed to have bailed on this hastily organized cluster f is that we realized at some point that we were helping Al-Qaeda overthrow Mommar. What other reason could there be? Surly the good Colonel is a ruthless enough dictator that killing him would surly be a blessing for the world. The only way you wouldn't want that was if bin Laden was hiding in a hummus barrel somewhere in Tripoli just waiting for the chance to strike.

One thing's for sure though, we need to stop all these world leaders from declaring that we're not at war with Libya. Unless Obama has some serious Clintonian mojo, I'm betting all those Tomahawks did more than blow up thousands and thousands of aspirin factories. I can assume the only reason we haven't seen video of the all the corpses is that all the "freedom fighters" are too busy sexually assaulting journalists to do any actual muckraking. If only these people knew that that the key to any good revolution was the effective implementation of Twitter and Facebook on the battlefield. Not that I'm judging any culture. We're all exactly the same, all great, all equal, no judging. Some are just a little more rapey than others.

I don't even know what to make of this situation anymore. I guess Japan is fine too? Seems like two days ago the entire country was going to melt and today I read that Japan has had a 9% jump in exports because China's been buying more stuff. Really? Growing that trade business while dealing with an earthquake, tsunami and nuclear meltdown? Yet when I look at the classified there's just a big hand giving me the finger. Awesome. Maybe if we start and ill-conceived bombing campaign against another middle eastern country I can get a job welding fins to missiles or something.

Time For A New Phrase

Maybe now we can all stop being forced to watch those insufferable Chevrolet ads that try and remind all of us that Detroit is the home of the American auto industry.

Why ad execs would want to remind us that our most prestigious car manufacturers operate out of a dying pit of a city that and are only able to do so because they are so pitiful that our government threw them billions of dollars. The land of Motown and Kronk gym is now known for 8-Mile, Kid Rock, Melee at the Palace and now, finally, Black Flight. Another race riot would be a vast improvement, only if to show there's any life left there at all.

That's right, African Americans have now figured out that the best way to deal with the pressure of a crumbling urban infrastructure is to simply leave.

The new census data is slowly being released and it's grim for Detroit. The former fifth largest city in the States now has a meager 713,000 residents. That figure puts it squarely behind the cultural epicenters of Indianapolis and LeBronville aka Columbus, OH. I've been to both of those places and, no offense to any loyal readers there, they both suck. I remember Indianapolis because I was truly amazed that such a big city could still manage to smell like cow shit. It actually permeated the Arby's beef and cheddar to the point where I was tempted to liberally apply that poisonous "horsey sauce". I only remember Columbus because I remember thinking that if it weren't for Cleveland, the residents of Columbus would have nobody to feel superior to.

Back to the Black Flight. In the ten years between census's, 237,000 residents escaped from Detroit. A whopping 185,000 of them were black and 41,000 were white. Now I'm shocked that there were still 41,000 white people in Detroit but that's not the point. The only other city seeing this kind of flight is New Orleans and they got hit by a hurricane. If it weren't for the influx of Hispanics into the unimaginatively named "Mexicantown" neighborhood, Detroit might fall off the map completely.

Despite the clamorings of Michigan's politicians and the mouth-breathers running GM's ad division, this is actually a good thing. First of all, we can stop using "White Flight" as a racist term of abandonment concerning big city America. Flight is now equal opportunity. Second, cities like Detroit should be abandoned as quick as possible. For years it seems like the black population was just trapped in these decaying ruins. They should be escaping and now it seems they are, at least in one city. In most cases, the same group of people have been running these slums for decades. They only stay in power because they are tied to the population somehow. If that population leaves town and is replaced by a bunch of Mexicans, then the whole snow globe gets shook and maybe some changes will be made. At the very least there are less people to drain the state resources which might help to ease the financial pressure on city officials.

So maybe Chevy should modify those ads and instead of reminding us that they're built in Detroit, maybe they can just say made in America. No need to point that your product comes from decay. It'll like reminding people that mushrooms are a fungus. Technically true but not good for the bottom line. Now before people claim that I'm just a Motor City hater, let me end on a high note. One of the great things about Detroit was its boxing and for my money, it didn't get any better than the Motor City Cobra Thomas Hearns. Detractors always say how he lost to both Hagler and Leonard but I disagree. He fought the good fight against Hagler despite breaking his hand in the first round and Hearns was clearly beating Leonard before he ran out of gas in the 14th and got TKO'd. Either way, here's a clip of the best Hitman knockouts. Keep a close eye around minute 3 where Hearns absolutely dislocates Roberto Duran from all time and space. Then compare it to Ron Artest knocking out that fat Mexican in the Pistons jersey. They're both awesome.

The Hitman:


Melee at the Palace

Oh Crap

I don't think Barack Obama understands how to use military action to distract people from serious scandals.

Usually you invade a country that most of your people find particularly loathsome (Iraq, Afghanistan) to cover up a personal scandal (Clinton) or because it fits ideologically with your power base (Bush II). What Obama is doing satisfies neither.

First of all, launching an offensive in Libya doesn't do anything but enrage Obama's leftist base. They were already fuming over the decision not to close Gitmo and the continuation of the debacle in Afghanistan. On top of that was the decision to back down on civilian trials for all held terrorists which have been dropped in favor of the military tribunal. Bottom line is that this is going to cost him support from Democrats and not gain him anything with Republicans.

Up until yesterday, he didn't have a major scandal to cover either. While conservatives view his policy decisions as disastrous, passing ObamaCare gives him a pass with libs. Other than that, the worst people were publicly calling him was absentee for not addressing any substantive issue in the world. That's been the Obama way for years, I can't see this minor criticism bothering him into action. I would argue that entering into a military action under pressure from the French and Brits just makes Obama look like he entered into a quasi-war to pacify Europeans. Not good.

If that wasn't bad enough, now Obama has a serious scandal that just makes military action look worse. The German papers have released photos of an American Army "death squad" that has apparently been roaming Afghanistan targeting and killing civilians for fun. And like most psychopaths, they felt the need to document their project with photos. 4,000 of said photos are now in the possession of German media. Yikes.

This type of thing make Abu Gharib look like a mincing little walk in the park. At least that was a bad policy decision leveled against people dragged off the battlefield. Mostly scumbags. There is going to be riots due to the actions of the United States military in the middle east from Tehran to Cairo. How exactly is the rest of that area going to view us bombing Libya to a pile of rubble in light of this revelation? Especially when you consider that we have no real reason to be in Libya. Sure they have a serious dictator problem but who doesn't over there? Libya is old news. Reagan tried to fix that problem in the 80's and we passed. We don't even know if the guys we're helping out are terrorists or not. They sure did organize a fighting force quickly, that can't be good.

If Obama were even aware of public relations he would have announced some kind of massive withdrawal right before these kill squad monsters came to light. Now it just looks like all we do is kill Muslims for no real reason.

I'm not sure if Obama is insensitive to how this looks or if he's just in over his head but he's acting like a guy who sees a fire and thinks that it could use a little gasoline. The rudderless Obama foreign policy apparatus makes the Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld nation building process look like a highly tuned scientific process. I certainly hope that Obama can break out from his funk/incompetence in time to handle this massacre thing. The world has serious problems and it would be nice if the leader of the free world could exert a little influence. Have we all taken note of how the French seem to have eagerly tried to fill the leadership void internationally? How does that usually work out for the world? I'm not sure if the executions of all the people involved in the killings will satisfy anyone around the world but it would be a good place to start just to restore a little bit our own dignity. It's one of the worst things that our military has been involved with since Vietnam and it needs to be handled head on and moved past quick. Lord knows there's more trouble on the way.

Oh Bother

I wonder if there has been a time in modern history where the President of the United States mattered less than he does right now. For whatever reason, Barack Obama has decided to take a pass on all issues, foreign and domestic. The thing in Egypt? Meh. Libya? Nada. Japan? Time to golf! Crushing debt at home? Crickets.

Don't get me wrong, I think the only thing worse than a disengaged Obama is an engaged one but it's truly an odd situation in the world now. I certainly hope we all realize that the Germans have dug in as pacifists and that the French President is agitating for military action in Libya. Hell, Sarkozy seems to have even talked the Brits into action.

Sadly, his efforts seem to have fallen on deaf ears, proving once again that intergovernmental organizations are complete frauds. France can't get any traction on a no-fly zone because the European Union wants no part of it. NATO has pretended that it has no idea what's going on and given how things are going in Afghanistan, maybe that's for the best. The United Nations has continued it's unblemished record of allowing dictators to slaughter their own people so long as they keep it in-house.

I've started to hear rumblings as to why this is the situation. Why nobody wants to help the Libyan rebels oust a monstrous dictator. These people fundamentally misunderstand the mission of these groups. Most people think that these groups were created and designed to prevent the kinds of genocide and atrocities seen in WWI & WWII. The exact opposite is true. These groups were created so that all nations could give each other a collective pass for not doing anything.

We know this is true because every time something awful starts happening, all of these groups get bogged down in terminology or bureaucracy. Either finding convenient legal reasons that tie their hands or waiting so long to do anything that it no longer matters. If they really cared, they would have rapid response teams ready to go at all times, instead they find any excuse to sit it out until somebody needs to count the bodies.

Barack Obama is the perfect President to work with these groups. Most leaders have to answer questions as to why they are ignoring the world aflame. Obama somehow just does nothing and the nobody gives him any grief over it. It's truly amazing how much of a world afterthought he has become. It'd be even funnier if that didn't mean the toughest leader in the Western World was a french guy.

Beware of RINO's

It's hard to fathom why the new Republican majority thinks they were swept into power in a landslide vote.

They seem to think they all ran on some moderate platform of compromise and Obama rehabilitation. I suppose if that were true their actions might be defensible right now. As it is, most Republicans ran on a big platform of nothing or on a heated anti-Obamacare/anti-deficit platform.

That makes it all the more baffling that the Republican leadership refused to allow a vote on removing $105 billion dollars of ObamaCare implementation money slipped into the idiotic continuing resolution.

They claim it's because you can only address discretionary spending in the CR, not allocated funds. Ridiculous. This country has a 14+ trillion dollar debt and you're quibbling over the rules that both party routinely vote to circumvent? Pathetic. The real reason is that Republicans are for some reason terrified that there will be a non-essential governmental shutdown. Why they have turned cowardly in the face of an easy budget choice when the people sent them there to make hard budget choices is beyond me. But, in the spirit of helpful unity, I'll offer the following justification for defunding ObamaCare that the Leadership pillow biters can offer up to the American people.

Congress' first obligation is to the Constitution. That obligation trumps everything else, including House rules. As such, Congress is not in any way obligated to fund a law that violates the Constitution. As of right now, ObamaCare is unconstitutional pending appeal. I know leftists love to point out that a couple of judges upheld ObamaCare but the way he law works is that if any court rules something unconstitutional, it is held to be so until a higher court can make a ruling resolving the conflicting the lower court rulings.

Judge Vinson made it clear in his opinion that the States were exempt for continuing to implement the law until the issue was resolved so why should Congress continue to blindly fund something that seems destined to be repealed or at least heard by the Supreme Court?

Just imagine leftists if Congress passed a law requiring all gays in the military to out themselves so that they could be trained in all gay units and live in all gay barracks, for the mental peace of mind of the straight soldiers. Now, this law is clearly unconstitutional, that kind of segregation has long been held unconstitutional. Once the inevitable lawsuit occurred, the District Court would void the law as unconstitutional. Now, in the time between the District Court holding it unconstitutional and the Court of Appeals hearing the appeal, should Congress continue to fund the military's effort to build the new facilities used to segregate the gays? Of course not.

It'd be nice if Congressional Republicans could recognize when they were on the right side of an issue and act appropriately. I suppose it's not shocking that they've gone weak kneed in the face of actual responsibility. If it weren't for the Tea Party and other fiscal conservatives kicking them in the ass, most of these people never would have been elected or even known what message to run on. If they screw this one up they deserve as serious steel-toe shot in the back.

Simple Plans

I've repeatedly stated my opposition to most labor unions because they are simply a legalized version of mob activity.

However, I occasionally find a labor issue where I side with the union. One such case is in the NFL labor dispute.

Now I understand the owners desire for more money. It's the reason anyone engages in any business. But the idea of adding 2 more games to the schedule is insane and the union has a right to fight back against it. The players bodies simply can't take any more abuse. Players brains are literally being blown out on the field. The science is pretty sound on the issue but if anyone needed any anecdotal evidence, a retired NFL'er recently donated his brain to science so they could study repetitive trauma injuries. Then he shot himself in the heart, Creepy. Really creepy.

The answer is so simple though. The owners want more weeks and the players want more health. Fine. Add another week or two to the season but make them bye weeks. This is good for he players since they could rest some of those injuries and space out those head shots over the year. The owners wouldn't get any money in the stadium in this case but they could easily make a ton of money on the TV deals. They could conceivably fill two more weeks of the highest rated shows on the tube. Two more weeks of beer commercials, NFL Network, etc. Seems to me that providing that much more programming for the networks would be worth quite a bit. Maybe not the billion that the owners are after but it would still be substantial. The bonus for the owners is that the players wouldn't be entitled to any of the new money. They haven't performed any extra work and they're getting some of the health concessions they've been looking for. Unless one side or the other is a lying hypocrite, then everybody wins.

Of course that's not the only issue to be negotiated but it seems that the owners would be easier to deal with on the other issue of they knew they had a fresh cash infusion waiting for them to pay off those stadium costs.

Simplify

Colorado appears to gearing up for another one of its never ending beer sales fights over who can sell what, where and when.

On the docket this time is a fight over 3.2% beer. Convenience stores and grocerys are complaining that some new regulation will allow restaurants and liquor stores to sell 3.2% as well, in violation of state law.

Apparently some groups think our new microbrewing Governor is tweaking the rules behind the legislatures back, some don't. The bottom line is "who cares?" This is a problem that is purely the creation of government.

The only reason there is this division is because some other government stooge decided some stores couldn't sell booze. So those stores, rather than loose that money, came up with "weak booze" and sold that and the state said cool. Very soon after that, both groups had lobbyists trying to protect their market shares. How anyone can feel dignified screaming to the hills for the right to sell 3.2% I'll never know but that's what they do.

Now all these new politicians are looking for political ways to solve a political problem. Did anyone think of just removing government? Let any store with a liquor license sell whatever they want. The first thing that would happen is that 3.2% would disappear. Nobody actually likes that crap, people only sell it when they have too. Once that was removed, you'd see genuine competition. Liquor stores would have certain advantages, as would grocery stores and 7-11s. They all serve different people with different needs. You might not see any more liquor stores being built right next to Safeways anymore but other than that, nothing much would change. People who want some brew or wine with dinner could get it at the grocery store, people like me who just want a good selection of booze and no waiting behind soccer moms getting the milk can still go to the liquor stores while high school kids can still pay drifters to go into the 7-11s for a twelve pack of Natty Light. We all win.

Except for government stooges. If everyone can get what they want and compete on the market, I guess lobbyists don't need to kiss your rings anymore. I'll drink to that.

Colorado Springs finest! - (will trade ad space for beer.)

Shameless Self-Promotion

Far be it for me to self aggrandize but I have also started writing for the Yahoo! Contributor Network. Should anyone care to read other stuff of mine, they can find me at:

http://contributor.yahoo.com/user/985890/patrick_mcgarry.html

The good news is that it'll be all new stuff. The bad news is that it'll still be written by me.

PTM

Still Satisfying

It feels nice whenever President Obama is forced to expose himself as the weak hypocrite that he is. It'd be nicer if I thought the man had enough conscious to blink twice about it but I'll take what I can get.

The Audacious One announced today that military trials will start up again at the Naval Base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

That's right, the one Obama pledged would be shut down within his first one hundred days. The very first executive order he signed when he took office.

Not willing to let the issue pass without comment, Obama told the press how "strongly opposed" to the military trials he was. If I were a liberal, I would find this line of thinking infuriating. Shutting down Gitmo was one of the things the President had total control over. He could close it down, move the prisoners and have civil trials whenever he wants. How do his supporters reconcile this? He can't blame Congress, they can't stop him, besides, he had his own own Congress for two years and did nothing.

This situation really just shows two things. The first is just how over his head Obama is. The idea that you could close Gitmo and just have the trials somewhere in Illinois farm country is ridiculous. Only a fool drunk on himself would think that was a feasible plan. The second thing it shows is what a shameless political opportunist he is. His number one photo op when he took office is just a throw away the next day. If all the anti-war nuts are feeling depressed, they can go cry on the shoulders of all the gays that Obama strung along, promising marriage and ending Don't Ask, Don't Tell. They got the shaft until Bama needed himself a boost in the polls, then he came out against DADT. Pathetic.

The real winner in all of this is the United States. These animals should be tried in Cuba. Keeping them there, being interrogated by the Army/CIA, is the absolute best way to deal with these people. Hopefully, some of these guys will be found guilty and sent to a deep dark hole. Literally, in some cases. Either way, American wins and Obama is again exposed as a fraud. Happy Days!

Photocopy Quality

I recently watched Let Me In, the American remake of the Swedish vampire film, Let The Right One In. I watched it with some hesitation as the original Swedish movie was outstanding and American remakes of foreign films have a sketchy track record at best.

As far as film quality goes, I was pleasantly surprised. Let Me In is quite a good movie, which isn't that surprising since it's almost exactly the same as the original. The only differences i could remember was that the American version had more graphic killings and made Abby(Eli) much more monstrous. I would also complain that some of the originals subtlety was removed such as a scene (minor spoilers) was changed from a suicide in the original to an accidental death in the American version.

That's small potatoes in the big picture though. If Let The Right One In was a 9.5 then Let Me In is an 8.5. The real issue is why was the movie made at all? Aside from it being in English, it's essentially the same movie. Is that change really enough of a reason to remake an entire movie? I realize that Americans have far less reason to see subtitles movies as Hollywood churns out enough films to keep moviegoers satisfied. From what I understand subtitling and dubbed movies are far more common in Europe where they have a greater diversity of languages and less movies being made.

Maybe we should adapt the same idea of dubbing here. Rather than waste the great performances of the Swedish actors, why not just hire Chloe Moretz, Richard Jenkins, Elias Koteas, etc. to do a really good voice over for the Swedish version and release that in theaters? The movie only made $12 million in its theater run, it seems reasonable that a dubbed version of that could've made just as much without all the cost of actually making the movie, which was around $20 million.

Hollywood is set to deluge the public with a flood of sequels and remakes this year because they know that those films will make money. If they got a little more creative with movies and dubbed an outstanding foreign film for the public rather than blow $20 million on a completely unneeded remake they would have more financial flexibility to make more creative movies instead of just making surefire moneymaking sequels of dubious quality. This would be devastating to the Michael Bays of the world but might be better for the rest of us.

Treasonous Disgrace

Now we know exactly how much fake civility a dead 9 year old and and a Congresswoman's blown out brain is worth.

Not even two months.

Rep. Giffords and others were shot on January 8, 2011, copious lectures by liberals about civility and how mean spirited politics caused it ensued and a month + 10 days later, it's all over. The despicable demonstrations in Madison, WI proved once and for all how little liberals actually care about they things they say or the democratic process. It's hard to know where to begin analyzing the Carnival of the Macabre going on in cheeseland. Is it the disregard for democratic principles? The absolutely unwarranted hate speech or the elitism? As always, we'll do our best.

ELITISM - One of the common refrains during all of this is how the new government in WI sprang this on the unions without even talking to them. First of all, labor unions are not the elected representatives of the people and the government isn't obligated to talk to them about anything. In this case, that reasoning is even more absurd. In Wisconsin, there is a constitutional requirement to balance the budget. Every Republican who ran an election said one way they were going to do that was to make unions pay more of their benefits package, up to a whopping 12%, and that they would do away with many of the contractual binds that have been in place. Everyone knew this. I live in Colorado and I knew exactly what Gov. Walker and the new Congress was going to do. So did the unions. So did the voters when they sent a republican wave to Congress so they could do just as they said. All of these outraged protesters are either the stupidest people in politics or liars. I suspect liars but I guess they can choose for themselves.

DEMOCRACY OF HATE - The most sickening thing about all this is the hate. Protesters calling Walker a dictator. Calling him a Nazi, fascist, murderer. Putting up signs with him in the cross hairs, a more threatening thing than Sara Palin's map, given that her map wasn't accompanied by a mob. Some of these shameless hate profiteers have been equating themselves with the Cairo demonstraters. Yes, the gay bashing, female raping Cairo protesters. The only way the comparison makes any sense is if these Wisconsin liberals are comparing themselves to the authoritarian loving Muslim Brotherhood, then it's spot on. They way this legislation came about is the definition of how our system is supposed to work. Going into an election, there was a huge budget problem the state was legally obligated to fix. Democrats presented their ideas, Republicans presented theirs which included a cut to public union powers and costs. Never mind that the union members would still be way better off than their employers, the people, a cut is still a cut. The people, the people who pay for everything, considered both proposals and the deep blue Wisconsin sent a wave of conservatives forth to enact their plan. Which they did. The House drafted and passed a bill, the Senate was about to do the same and send it to the Governor when all those cowards on the left, fled town. The ran away from democracy. Because they hate it. Liberals hate nothing more than the people trying to control the actions of government. This is no different when those cowardly Texan liberals ran to New Mexico rather than vote on a redistricting bill. Now we hear all this nonsense about how it was courageous. I'm sure if all the Republicans fled the country rather than vote on Obamacare, I'm sure liberals would have been disappointed but impressed with their principles. Yeah right. It's not principled, it's disgraceful. The people rejected the Democrats now the Democrats are rejecting the people. Everyone should be ashamed that this is how our system works now. Apparently, working hard to win people over with your ideas is too hard. No we just take our ball and go home. Pathetic.

UNION BUSTER - So, is this an attempt to destroy unions? Hardly. Sure, they are going to lose the ability to collectively bargain some aspects of their contract. Want to guess what they still get to negotiate? THEIR SALARY. Yep, they can still make twice as much a civilians. They can still get paid $38 an hr. for a job that's only worth $18. They still get way better medical benefits than you are I will on the outside. They also get way better pensions than the private sector gets. Or doesn't get since most companies no longer offer pensions anymore. All the bill asks is that they pay for some of these perks themselves. No matter how it all shakes out, all these union members will be better off than the people that pay them. They just want to be really, really better off, instead of just really better off.

CONCLUSION - This bill will eventually pass, it's just a matter of time. The Dems just don't have the numbers in government to stop it. These union members are also working against the will of the people. Democrats nationwide are always under the impression that most Americans are just dying to unionize. Unfortunately for them, union membership is the lowest it's ever been and it's by choice. States across the country are sending members to Congress to cut costs starting with union contracts. Deep blue Wisconsin, deep blue New Jersey and deep blue Massachusetts have all had to tackle this problem because the citizens demanded it.

And what do we make of these teacher/protesters? All along they've told us they are worth special treatment because they sacrifice their lives to educate children. They tell us that every teacher is a hero. That teaching is the most important job you can have. I'm sure that's a matter of opinion that varies depending on the fire conditions in your house, criminal rate in your neighborhood or your need for utilities. The sad fact is that reality doesn't back this up. Every year these heroes churn out dumber and dumber students. They refuse to let us fire the worst of them or promote the best. The try to kill any alternative education opportunities. They abandon their students to fight for their undeserved freebies. They demand more and more money and prestige for their subpar performance while redirecting any all blame away from themselves.

They are selfish and self interested. In many respects they are the educational version of the NRA. The NRA has taken a stance that no matter how reasonable the proposal, they will not agree to any alteration in their right to arms. The NEA is the same way, just replacing guns with high salaries, free pensions, cheap healthcare and jobs for life with no expectation of performance. Worst of all, these Big Education operatives have monopolized the system and process so that the truly wonderful teachers and reformers cannot be heard or exert any influence.

I hope that Gov. Walker and the Legislature have been paying attention to New Jersey. Gov. Christie has been fighting this fight for months now. By sticking to his guns, confident in the knowledge that he had the public's support, he has broken these union machines and put Jersey back on the path to fiscal stability. The new government has the same support too. If they hold on, they can break the logjam as well, to the benefit of us all.

Say Wha?

I read the story about the Nuggets trading Melo to the Lakers and I am confused.

Not so much that they Nugs are gonna move him somewhere besides the Knicks. Really, is Wilson Chandler, Corey Brewer and a 1 enough to get anyone excited? No way.

But why, why does anybody think Andrew Bynum is worth anything at all?

The man cannot play basketball without getting hurt. He runs like Ralph Sampson with the blown out knees. He is the love child of Greg Oden and Yao Ming.

I defy anybody to actually watch him run up and down the court and tell me he can man the middle for the next five years.

I know Denver feels like they need to get some kind of name to replace Melo while the team rebuilds but Bynum isn't going to placate angry fans. He's gonna play 3 games, tear a quad and the fans will turn on him. Denver would be far better off getting nothing but expirings and draft picks than taking back Bynum and hoping to build around him.

Maybe the best deal you can get is a rent a year offer from the Mavericks, maybe it's Wilson Chandler. That seems like a sad commentary on the situation Melo has put Denver in but that's the reality. If the Nugs are smart, they take it and go and hope for a lockout.

Your Move, Genocide

I guess the Hollywood elite can find new T-shirts to wear.

Now that South Sudan has voted 99% in favor of separating from the rest of Sudan, the assumption seems to be that all that ethnic clashing is a thing of the past.

Sure. Because in Africa more government means more stability, right? Right.

I can see why the southerners in the country would want to do this, after all, that part of the country has all the oil while the north has all the what exactly? Poverty? Machete factories? God only knows.

We do know one thing though and that's what happens when an oil rich little state is right next to a hell hole looking for a boost. Iraq invaded Kuwait for that sweet black oil and Iraq already had tons of their own oil. This was in the face of the American army and the fact that they just got brutalized for a decade by Iran. Sooner or later, North Sudan is going to realize that they are the ugly chick in a group that includes Ethiopia for gods sake and when they do, it's gonna get ugly.

When you think about it, splitting things in two doesn't really solve problems. Some Americans tried it and we got the Civil War. Ireland? No peace. Korea? Nope. John and Kate? Nope. That divorce just turned one collective, bitchy douche bag into two insufferable cancers. Maybe we should just focus on solving one problem before we turn it into two.

Eeeeeeh, Not Quite

There has been much speculation concerning the violence in Egypt. What kind of uprising is this? A yearning for Democracy? A hostile, Taliban-esque takeover? Should Obama support the action, why is their still violence if Mubarak is leaving, will Drakar be able to stay in business without the large middle eastern nation in full buying effect? They questions make your head spin.

Today however, one of those questions was answered by the pro-Mubarak faction who stormed Cairo riding camels and wielding whips.

Riding camels. Wielding whips.

This revolt may be a lot of things but a popular movement for democracy it isn't. I'm sorry but riding around on camels whipping people like some bizarro Paul Revere just screams "Not Ready for Freedom" Unfortunately, it also signals to people like the Muslim Brotherhood that Sharia law might have finally won the day.

History shows us that this is the case. Revolution in Rwanda done with machetes. No liberty. French revolution, all guillotine, all terrifying. Spanish Civil War? Yikes. It's the same as if the American Revolution was completely conducted by the people responsible for the Salem Witch Trials.

The only question left is just how kooky this thing is going to get.

Oh, That's Where I Left My Petard!

It's amusing to see the media go into hyper analysis mode over Jay Cutler now that we know he had a partially torn MCL that kept him from finishing Sunday's game. It's really much more simple than what people make it out to be. It really only has two facets.

The first one os the injury itself. Yes a partial tear of the MCL isn't good. Yet we've seen numerous QB's play with debilitating leg injuries. We've all seen Elway, Marino, Montana, Leftwich, etc. finish games where they could barely move. That's not figuratively either. Post Achilles injury, Marino literally could not move. All these guys just put on a brace that locked the knee into place, got in the shotgun and let er rip. Lovie Smith said that the instability of the knee was why they took him out. Unless the trainers forgot knee braces, that excuse just doesn't cut it.

The second issue is Jay Cutler's attitude. He is a surely, ego maniacal, Jeff George/Ryan Leaf hybrid. He seems to always be trying to convince everyone of how great he is, how stupid they are or pouting over some perceived slight. Pouting seemed to be what he was doing while injured. My informal poll as to what was really wrong with him showed that most people thought he had a concussion given his detachment from the team. Now we know it was a one man pity party. For him to cry because his peers aren't showing him enough respect? Are you kidding? How many media members and players have you made it your goal to make their life miserable? You just can't treat people like they are unworthy to be around you then ask surprised when they give you a flaming tire at the first chance.

The bottom line is simple. Cutler may have a great arm but he is a world class douchebag and he came up small where the greats came up big. All while trying to tell us that he belonged in that upper echelon of all time QB's. You made your bed now lie in. He just needs to suck it up and quit pouting. If he has any guts at all, he'll come back big whenever the next season is.