Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Duplicative Redundancy

I ask myself every year on this, the day after the All Star game, and I never get a good answer.

"Why exactly do we need the ESPY's?"

I understand that it's an awards show celebrating the accomplishments in athletics over the previous year. It seems though that each individual sport handles that on their own. Championship rings, banners, trophies, MVP, Golden Boot, Silver Slugger, Rookie of the Year, POY, team records, individual records, etc. all cover essentially the same ground as the ESPY's but in a more meaningful way. What is possibly to be gained for Drew Brees to win an ESPY? Time to throw away that ring baby, I've got an award named after a TV station!

In addition, these awards are the antithesis of sports. First of all, they are voted on instead of being won through actual achievement. That's why real sports are great and ice skating is more of an artistic endeavor. No ambiguity, just get on the pitch and win. These awards are given out by voting heads trying to put on a show. Brett Favre is making some kind of spectacle tonight, so that shows how meaningful it is.

Secondly, we've already covered how champions who win ESPY's probably don't care as they already have been recognized in their sports. The alternative is even worse though. If non-champions win an ESPY, they are essentially being rewarded for losing. I don't care if Peyton Manning is a great quarterback, he shouldn't even be considered for an award other than Choke of the Year for throwing that pick. I'm sure the pro-award lobby will try and defend this nonsense by explaining that individual achievements get overshadowed in team games and need recognition. I say bullshit. You show me Dan Marino, Cris Carter and Charles Barkley and tell me about their personal records and I'll show you 3 guys with no bling.

It's bad enough that we diminish everyones accomplishments in life by handing out a million participation trophies (which should be called the "Nice Job Getting Out of Bed Award") in amateur sports, do we really need to be handing them out to professionals too?

And how much air time does ESPN need to fill? LeBron gets an hour, the ESPY's gets no less than 11, Colin Cowherd somehow gets on, why can't I have an hour or two? I've got bad calls to discuss, conspiracies against the Raiders, roto league updates, panda watches, the Rick Reilly Insanity Countdown, the Skip Bayless march to murder, etc. Why not give it to me? At least that wouldn't be shameless self promotion by the World Wide Leader.
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2 comments:

  1. All of that is fine and dandy, and to an extent I agree with the road you have gone down. Ones professional athletic career will never have mention of how many espy awards they have for best male athlete. That being said, our society loves a good old fashioned red carpet. Nickelodeon preps the youth of America with their Kids Choice Awards and prepares them for the self centered display of celebrating televisions wonderful achievements and make fun of a few people along the way. Throw in a few sentimental awards, add a few "A" list celebrities, crack a few jokes at the easy target, and make sure Brooklyn Decker is there and you have a recipe for ratings.

    Not only that, but men love a soap opera as much as women do, it just so happens that our characters smash each others brains out and swap sweaty DNA as often as possible! We love the story lines of the athletes and loath the villains when they pass our way. To a lot of people, they DO forget that these people are not only characters on a sports team, but real people just living their lives.

    So dammit, if the Mexican soap operas and the Broadway shows and tweens get an award show, so do the grown men who live their life on the network that is the world wide leader!

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  2. omg that's not even the worst of it , ESPN has what like 17 channels now ? and they are all going to replay the espy's every two hours for the next month.

    I swear to god , the greatest thing ever invented , ESPN , is becomming systematically unwatchable.

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