The One Sack He Never Wanted

A woman came forward in the Lawrence Taylor rape case today, saying that that the underage hooker told her that LT never had sex with her, he only "rubbed himself" on her. (?) This would seem to be a good thing for LT, as it might show he did not in fact rape the 16 year old, statutorily or otherwise.

There are two problems with this though. As far as I know, buying yourself a prostitute for any sexual reason is against the law, even if it is only to be some kind of visual, masturbatory stimulant. Technically, it's illegal to pick up day laborers at the Home Depot for a day of planting trees and mowing lawns so I can't imagine a situation where this business transaction is legal.

On the other hand, it really doesn't matter what the nature of the business transaction was. The law on that topic could be pretty murky. What isn't murky at all though is the simple fact that it is very illegal for a man in his fifties to jerk off on a sixteen year old. Hell, it's illegal for a nineteen year old to do that on a sixteen year old, no matter if there was money changing hands or if it was purely consensual. Let's get real though, there is no way any sixteen year old is going to see crazy old LT, listen his "proposition" and say "I'm in. You keep your money good sir, to be used as a human tissue has been my lifelong dream and I'll do it for the love of the game, not for the financial spoils." They are more likely to adopt Rasheed Wallace's CTC motto (Cut That Check) and start looking to get paid.

It really shows how bad a spot LT has put himself in where his best defense seems to still put him in jail. There's a reason rich guys like Tiger Woods and Elliott Spitzer spend thousands of dollars on prostitutes and it isn't that these ladies have learned any magic tricks in the bedroom that the market has somehow deemed more valuable than regular sex. Those thousands of dollars are essentially litigation insurance. By going through a service for high rollers, you can assure yourself that the girl is the appropriate age and that she knows how to keep her mouth shut. Theoretically anyway, there seems to be some breakdown in this part of the deal recently. Either way, if you're a rich degenerate it's worth the extra dough. Otherwise you end up in a cheap motel in Jersey pleasuring yourself to some 16 year old drifter, then you get to spend a few days in jail and become a public pariah. We have Las Vegas, we have Reno, we have Atlantic City and you have tons of cash. Do us all a favor, leave the kids alone and go spend some of it retaining your dignity in private.