Thursday, October 8, 2009

Everyone Wins! . . . Except the Dead

Another day, another mindless conversation about Afghanistan. The Generals want another 40,000 troops, at least, and Obama wants to placate the Kucinich wing of his party. Thank god I'm here to offer solutions.

OPTION #1
Give the Generals all the troops they want. This would actually be the politically sound thing to do. There aren't enough pacifist-socialists in the country to doom Obama in 2012 or the Dems in 2010. Probably won't happen since Bama is an ideological robot.

OPTION #2
Do nothing, maintain the status quo. This would make nobody happy and hurt the Dems in every election going forward. Might happen anyway since Obama isn't any kind of leader in tough situations.

OPTION #3
Instead of 40,000 extra troops, send 40,000 extra Massive Ordinance bombs. You could even reduce the troop level so long as you were aggressive bombing. I'm not talking about any "shock and awe" crap either, I'm talking about Dresden style carpet bombing and Japan style fire bombing. Obama might rule it out completely due to predictable civilian casualties.

OPTION #4
Leave all troop levels as they are but relax the rules of engagement dramatically. American soldiers are good at many things but they are most effective when they are just allowed to kill the enemy. This would renew troop morale by giving them a legitimate say in the outcome of the war and by extension their lives. This would also result in an increase on the amount of dead terrorists and Taliban fighters. The objective of the war, as I understand it. Maybe possible as the media might hide the change in ROE from leftist activists.

OPTION #5
End the war, remove all troops. This is a horrible idea but could be feasible. Obama could justify it to average Americans by blaming Bush for letting it get out of hand and then blame NATO for not fully committing to the war. This would make his uber pacifists orgasmic, provide plausible cover to a goodish chunk of NATO hating Americans and allow him to stress just how important international institutions are to world peace. You know how he loves that.

Let's see. Five options, three would win the war, two would be a disgrace. I wonder which ones are seriously being considered now.
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