I hear some of the sports media's glowing accounts of how El Tigre really showed himself for the first time, poured his heart out and was really real.
What they hell were they watching?
Tigers speech was given in the exact same cadence that a martian would have used if they spent their time studying emotion by watching nothing but Chris Walken and Jesse Jackson performances.
It was stilted, filled with contrived emotion and full of backhanded attacks at the media and public in general. Why was it so hard for him to do?
Because he didn't mean any of it. The only genuine thing he was genuinely upset about was the media prying into his life. This is the same old Tiger, too good to be bothered with the outside world. The rest was just BS that some PR firm put together for him. Badly at that I might add. Lets give a quick rundown:
Religion? Check. Buddha.
Role Model Failures? Check.
Humbled? Check. Used to think I was elite, blah, blah, blah.
Apologize to sponsors? Check.
Talk About Parents? Check.
Blame the Media? Check.
Defend Your Wife? Check. Would have been better if she had actually been there.
Fake A Tear? Oops! Wasn't for lack of trying though, if he had tried any harder to squeeze out a tear he might have crapped his pants.
His speech sounded like an undergraduate PR students checklist of things to work into a final draft. Combine that with the highly controlled crowd, lack of questions, dripping insincerity and contempt and it was a train wreck all around. I'm shocked that by this time in his life Tiger hasn't figured out how to fake real emotion just to trick the public and sponsors into supporting him. Does he have some personality disorder, was he abused as a child or is just a world class spoiled A-hole? Tough to say but I know who the winner in all this is, Kobe Bryant. Say what you will but Kobe was accused of raping a hotel worker yet managed to get his wife to the press conference, answer questions and at least pass for human.
The big loser? besides Tiger of course, it is his wife Elin. What must she be thinking after watching that debacle. This is the guy I married? This is the guy who hangs out with my kids? Nobody can say whats been going on between them for the last few months but obviously it isn't going well if after all this time he can't even muster a little regret or sadness for betraying their marriage, shaming her and posing a gigantic health risk for the entire family by nailing porn stars sans condom. She must have loved his voice breaking when he talked about the media stalking him but nary a tear or quiver for her. If she didn't attack him with a 9-iron that night in November, she just might tonight.
She might just be used to it by now though. I can't imagine that T-800 going home and suddenly turning into Mr. Personality. She probably knew exactly what was coming and who it was really for.
If this atrocity proved anything once and for all, it's that Tiger's the star of his own show and all the rest of us, friends, family and public, are just props in his grand play. Apparently nothing is going to change that either.
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