The Karen of Sports

We've all seen the videos of Karens' on the internet. The details vary from person to person but the basic structure is usually someone who enjoys a fairly spoiled life absolutely melting down because someone else dared to try and exist in the same world as them without showing the proper amount of respect or deference. Some of the videos are racist, sometimes sexist, frequently classist and always a display of unhinged narcissistic lunacy.

And while most of the videos online are of middle aged white women melting down like Nancy Pelosi if she doesn't have her breakfast gin, sadly we all know from life experience that the Karen behavior transcends race or nationality.

It occurred to me while watching the World Cup that soccer is essentially the Karen of sports and that's why its so insufferable.

Sure soccer just as a sport is boring and pointless but its honestly no worse than baseball most of the time, cricket or hockey before the rule change. So why does soccer strike me as kind of unseemly?

It's because the players are all exactly like your neighborhood Karen. Soccer players are some of the most skilled, in shape athletes in the world yet when anyone else dares to try and compete with them they fall down, start screaming and throwing a temper tantrum until the referee comes over and shows them the proper amount of attention. The whole game has to stop for as long as it takes to calm these man-boys down. 

And much like society with the over-privileged women shrieking in the park, soccer enables and encourages this behavior. The tantrums, the screaming, the pouting; its all fake. They know its fake, the other team knows its fake, the referees know its fake, the announcers know its fake but what happens? Do these insufferable crybabies get reprimanded? Nope! The other team gets a foul, the baby gets their bottle and the game goes on, at least until another impotent narcissist gets offended, then we get to stop to watch another one-boy play about imaginary suffering. Watch any Ronaldo game where he doesn't get his way all the time for an example.

And the refs are just as bad in their own way. They clearly get intimidated by the more famous players and teams, so they take it out on the less imposing opposition. Imaginary fouls, quick or slow cards depending on who it is and of course, their maniacal manipulation of the clock. You would think even in the bizarre world of soccer and extra time; which is only necessary because the sport caters to mentally weak crybabies; that when the time ended, the game ended. But no. Even that arbitrary end of the game can be further extended or shortened, by the discretion of the referee. Based on what criteria? Basically if the referee feels like you're trying hard enough to score you can get extra time. But only if he deems you worthy. Its absurd. I saw numerous games in the knockout stage where some poor team is trying to stave off nine minutes of stoppage time for 20 minutes because the ref apparently wasn't impressed with their effort in clearing the zone.

Its a joke. Society has rightfully decided that the best course of action in dealing with these unhinged, middle aged infants is to publicly shame them. We should do the same with soccer. Try and reinstall a little dignity back into society. If Karens and Renaldos are going to be blessed with skills and opportunities the rest of the people could only dream about, they could at least act like they earned and deserve them.