Cohibas, Kennedys and the Zombie Apocalypse

Now that the final shot has been poured and the final nail driven into the Kennedy family legacy, it appears that the United States Congress has decided to get busy undoing one of its most famous and senseless aspects.

The Agriculture Committee is getting ready to pass a bill lifting travel and sales restrictions against Cuba, put in place as part of the total embargo placed by JFK during the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962. The bill seems to have bipartisan support and would no doubt be the first step in a total repeal of the embargo.

It's about time.

There is not a doubt in my mind that the reason this embargo has lasted so long is because liberals didn't want to piss on a historic JFK moment. A tragic fact of the JFK presidency was that it was so short that there wasn't enough time for a legendary President to accomplish legendary things. Historians seem to latch on to the Missile Crisis as his tough guy moment where he stared down the Russians in the face of nuclear holocaust. In reality, it was the culmination of mistakes, starting with the Bay of Pigs fiasco, continuing with the insane removal of European missile defense systems in Turkey in exchange for the removal of the nukes in Cuba to the lasting insanity of the embargo. I think that Congress has hoped for years that Castro would fall on his own, leaving them without the burden of having to remove the embargo in a blaze of failure.

Aside from the faulty historical nostalgia of the embargo, the simple fact is that it didn't work, is counterproductive and is now totally disproportionate to the current situation.

The reason it doesn't work is because communist states can continue to thrive in abject poverty just as well as prosperity. Over the years, the United States is the only country really participating in the embargo. Combine the trade from Europe and South America with various levels of financial support from China, the Old Soviet Union, Venezuela and maybe North Korea and Cuba can last indefinitely. If things get to bad, they can always send us (the US) thousands of their most criminal and/or useless citizens knowing full well we'll take them. This was how Scarface started.

It is also counterproductive because it makes the United States look weak and petty. We've been clamoring for regime change for 50 years now. We seem to have tried everything in the slapstick assassination playbook from exploding cigars to a chemical to destroy Castro's beard to deadly, disease ridden, covert prostitutes. Apparently the U.S. government decided to try every trick in the book except using the military. Why would they? The military is only specially trained to kill people and overthrow governments, how could they be of service? For God's sake, Castro has been giving four hour speeches, outside, with a ZZ Top beard and full military fatigues for years, could we not find him? It's only 90 minutes away. He could start a speech and we would have plenty of time to fuel and launch a missile before he got done thanking the comrades. Leftists seem to think that would make us look bad internationally but how much worse do we look by carrying on with these theatrical stunts? Failing to kill and overthrow a government with ridiculous stunt assassinations instead of waging a 2 hour invasion makes us look incredibly stupid.

The embargo also lacks proportionality of response. Fine, Castro led a Socialist Revolution and moved in nukes in the 60's. Got it. North Korea has been far more brutal and we have been giving them all the materials they need to make a nuke and they have been doing so in the face of all international pressure. Same goes for China, we gave them nuclear technology and decided to go completely into their debt as well. Buy gas from Citgo? Goes to commies. Spanish wine? Commies. Anything from Bolivia, Nicaragua, Egypt? Commie, commie, commie. You could make the case that the United States has never in its history been in bed with communists more than it is right now, yet we continue to harp about Cuba as if they are anything more than an annoying historical foil.

All together, the embargo has been one of the biggest diplomatic failures in American history, so lets end it. If we end it through legislation, fine. if we end it through putting some bullets into some Castros, fine. Either way it needs to end. Liberals don't care because they actually like Castro (and that T-shirt hero Che'). Conservatives only really care because it's a goods campaign point in South Florida. Meanwhile, if I try and buy a box of Cuaba perfectos or a bottle of Havana Club, the ATF can arrest me, fine me and throw me in jail. This is a ridiculous scenario and it finally needs to end, even if it's with a whimper and slap at the Kennedy Ghost.