Coen Brothers 14 DVD Box Set Review - Parts 1-7

I was recently trolling around Ebay and came across a very nice 14 DVD collection of Coen Brothers movies being sold by a fellow movie enthusiast (bootlegger) from Hong Kong. They seemed to be of high quality so I immediately grabbed the set and decided to review all 14 as I watch them. I'll repost when I add new reviews.

Consider yourselves warned for spoilers

1. The Ladykillers (2004) - C+ - This movie actually wasn't as bad as I remembered it and it was light years ahead of the 1955 version. Marlon Wayans actually checks in with a decent performance as one of Tom Hanks' merry band of casino robbers. Good soundtrack, if you like church music, and amusing moments, if not actual laugh out loud moments. The ending is extremely odd though. The whole movie is a slow paced "old fashioned slow burn" kind of comedy, then it seems the directors realized the movie was dragging and decided to wrap everything up in about 15 minutes. Maybe in the third remake we can hash out those character endings a little more, yes?

WHY DO WE NEED . . . . . ?

1) Irritable Bowel Syndrome. How does Pancake having this disease advance any plot line? Does it matter that he met Mountain Girl at an IBS retreat? Nope. Does the condition ever really cause a problem? Nope. All we get is a lengthy conversation about being incontinent. Awesome.
2) Tom Hanks' affectations. Seriously, Hanks' Professor G.H. Dorr seems like the horrible lovechild of Ashley Wilkes, Truman Capote and Foghorn Leghorn. It was like watching John Edwards rob a casino while suffering from Asperger's Syndrome while having a stroke. Bad to the point of distracting. Not a bad afternoon watch though, all things considered.



2. Intolerable Cruelty (2003) - D - Well, only two movies and and we've hit a significant speed bump. I can only assume, because I'm too lazy to check, that this movie was made during the height of Sex and the City hysteria. It really seems like a 2 hour episode only with decent acting. At the end of the day though, well made crap is still crap. I could have lived with the sappy sentimentalism but the movie simply had no cohesive narrative. There was the jaded lawyer transforms plot, goldigger wife learns the value of love plot and the slapstick hitman/private eye/sex crazed train enthusiast plot all mashed together with an odd soap opera trick plot and absurd assistant plot. Too much friend.

DID WE REALLY NEED? - Any of it? All those long winded speeches?

WHAT WE NEED MORE OF - Billy Bob Thornton, Wheezy Joe, Cedric the Entertainer.




3. Bad Santa (2003) - A - This movie is awesome. A few years ago the wife and I were collaborating around the holidays and came to the mutual agreement that this was the Christmas movie that would be viewed on a yearly basis in our house. Move over Christmas Story and The Santa Clause. Billy Bob Thornton steals the show, drinking, beating up kids, defiling dressing rooms. Add major roles by the now dead John Ritter and Bernie Mac and it's a near perfect Christmas movie so long as your not looking for It's a Wonderful Life style uplifting messages about life and humanity. Although love does conquer all, in a deviant sort of way.

DO WE REALLY NEED? - All that anal sex. I don't care how consensual it is, it's still rape. Or at the very least assault.

WHAT WE NEED MORE OF - Christmas pickles.

NOTABLE QUOTABLES - "Are you fuckin with me?!"



4. The Man Who Wasn't There (2001) - B+ - I really enjoy this slow paced pseudo-noir. Ironically enough, the first time I saw through Netflix, I saw the black and white version released in the US. Because this box set is from China though, the version I saw today was the color version that was thrown in a box set that sold in France and Korea. See the black and white. The movie was clearly designed to be transferred to B&W, so all the sets, cloths, etc. really lack any color or pop. If you get the box set, just look for a cheap American copy on eBay to replace it, then give the Korean version to a film fan relative. The movie itself is a quirky tale of murder and adultery starring the always solid BB Thornton. The movie does suffer from plot vomit. There are about 5 movies going on here, luckily, they are all interesting. One question that kept coming up in my mind was why The Barber would have done what he did considering his wife was being a total bitch. After she got set up for the chair, I would've washed my hands of the whole affair. The movie would have only been 45 minutes but it would have made more sense.

DID WE REALLY NEED? - Alien abduction theory. All that brother in law.

WE NEED MORE OF - James Gandolfini, calling gays "pansy", wops.



5. O Brother Where Art Thou? (2000) - B - I think a persons decision about whether or not they like this movie hinges on your taste in music. If you like, or can tolerate, bluegrass, folksy music then you've got a fighting chance. If you hate that kind of music then don't even bother, it permeates just about every scene. Aside from that caveat, it's also a really good movie and a fairly faithful adaptation of Homer's the Odyssey. I gotta say though, the performance that could be abandoned altogether is the wife. Very, very schrewy.

GOD'S FAVORITE ACTOR - George Clooney. In addition to all the things he's got going for him, the man has absolutely tremendous hair. He rivals Tom Brady in the "most ridiculous amount of natural gifts" department.

NOTABLE QUOTABLES - "Damn, we're in a tight spot!" "The color guard is colored!" "Thank God your mammy died in childbirth. If she'd seen you, she'd died of shame."

EXCUSE ME? - How exactly did all four of the fellas get their hands untied from behind their backs before they drowned? Was being in the Klan really enough to lose you an election in Mississippi in that time?

LET'S DO THE TIME WARP! - Baby Face Nelson was three years room temperature before miraculously being raised from the ground by the Almighty Hand of Providence to kill cows and scream manically in this movie.




6. The Big Lebowski (1998) - A - Including this time, I've probably seen this movie 25 times now. It never gets old. I did notice some things that brought it down from an A+ First of all, Julianne Moore and her gimp associate Knox Harrington. They are eccentric and annoying for no discernible reason. In fact, I'm not sure why they exist at all. And I have more questions than the movie answers. What are the details between Tara Reid and her porn producer Jackie Treehorn? Why did she owe him money? Did the old Jeff Lebowski get the idea to marry her from porn? Doesn't seem right. Why does the Dude's front door swing out, instead of in? Why isn't there an In n Out burger in Colorado Springs? Did the nihilists not let Bunny in on their kidnapping plot? They were in a porn together, seems like they could've gotten together on that one. What happened to the money? Did the old man get it? Why couldn't we see the toe extraction scene?

MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION: Where can I can buy a Pendleton sweater, cowichan style, like the Dude wears? That thing looks seriously comfortable. Makes me wanna take a nap.

WHAT I NEED MORE OF: White russians, Vietnam, Logjammin, Jesus Quintero, Malibu sheriffs, CCR, actual bowling, spur of the moment prostitution, Brandt.

WHAT I NEED LESS OF: Bad accents, creepy landlords, ear ripping scenes.




7. Fargo (1996) - B- - You know, I've been to Montana in my days. They have people there. Lots of them, full of folksy charm. Covered in snow, wide open spaces, a bit of the old west come to life if you will. Perhaps a few of them could've been killed in this movie. Then I wouldn't have to drop this movie almost 2 whole grades due to THOSE RIDICULOUS ACCENTS!!! I swear the Coen Brothers are trying to drive me nuts with these friggin accents. They serve no purpose other than to bother me. The Dakota's are the worst, not quite Strange Brew, Not quite That 70's Show. I was hoping Steve Buscemi would just kill everybody and be done with it. So damn frustrating. Almost ruined a good movie.On the plus, they did distract the viewer from the absolute incompetent plot hatched by the dim-witted husband. Now, my wife has never nominated me for Husband of the Year but I would never pay strangers to kidnap her for the ransom. Why? First of all, I'm pretty sure I agreed not to do that in the vows, secondly, they strangers I would hire would probably crash her skull in with an axe. Law of probability.

WHAT I NEED MORE OF: Woodchippers, angry Native Americans.

WHAT I NEED LESS OF: Talking, naked Steve Buscemi, judgmental Brainard prostitutes.




This completes the first half of the 14 Disc Movie Review. I'll put the other 7 in a new post to spare the reader some scrolling.