"Dear Haitians –
First of all, kudos on developing the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Your commitment to human rights, infrastructure, and birth control should be applauded.
As we prepare to assist you in this difficult time, a polite request: If it's possible, could you not re-build your island home in the image of its predecessor? Could you not resort to the creation of flimsy shanty- and shack-towns? And could some of you maybe use a condom once in a while?
Sincerely,
The Rest of the World"
Now, nobody enjoys a heartfelt "pick yourself up by the bootstraps" motivational speech more than me but I'm not sure I'd have the chutzpah to fire it up to a nation that is busy bulldozing at least 150,000 people into a mass grave.
Before we rightfully cast Mr. Shirley into public oblivion though, it should be noted that some of the points he made had merit.
1. Haiti was a mess before the earthquake. Fair point.
2. Sending them billions of dollars to reconstruct that same mess is idiotic. Very true.
3. Poor nations create a poverty cycle by having an accelerated birth rate due to lack of education and birth control. Very true, we see it in Africa all the time.
These facts are all very true. Had Paul decided to make these sociological observations in some kind of reflective brainstorming session on how to proceed constructively, perhaps something could have been made by them. By contextualizing them in one big "F@*! You!" love letter to the dead/dying people of Haiti and their supporters, I suspect this will become Shirley's version of John Rockers famous "Queer With Aids, Puerto Rican with 5 Kids" subway speech.
I guess he doesn't get to be the next Dan Majerle or the next Chuck Klosterman. Time to fire up plan C chief.
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