NFL Preview: Pittsburg Steelers

QB: A If Love Tron Roethlisberger can keep his mind focused on football instead of date rape accusations, the Steelers will be fine. JUST ASKING: If Lawrence Taylor can send hookers to opponents rooms before a game, could cross town rivals QB Donovan McNabb have sent a spy with Eagles wings to seduce and entrap Big Ben in a date rape scandal? This reporter says yes! C+ 

RB: C You can try and sell me Parker, Mendenhall and Moore all day, I aint buyin. Luckily, it doesn't seem to matter who plays for the Steelers, they still look good. 

WR: B call me skeptical on Santonio too. i had him on my fantasy team last year and he killed me. Hines Ward still awesome, Limas Sweed still Limas Sweed. 

TE: C Heath Miller is fine but I doubt any team is game planning for Heath Miller. Unless it's "Make Heath Miller Beat Us." That could work. 

OL: B+ Individually, these guys should be much worse. Something about the convergence of the three mighty rivers turns them into something more than their earthly parts. 

DL: B- Good enough to free up the LB's. 

LB: A+This may be the single best unit in football. Woodley, Farrior, Timmons and Harrison. Sweet Jesus. That sound you hear is Carson Palmer trying to rupture his ACL using Jump Soles and a banana peel.

DB: B- I still say Polamalu is overrated. I guess playing with DeShea Townsend and Ike Taylor can make you look better than you are.

P/K: B Reed and Sepulveda. 70 rock band's or special teamers? ALCOA PRESENTS, YOU MAKE THE CALL!

COACHING: A Looks like Omar Epps and coached like Chuck Noll.

BEST CASE SCENARIO: 13-3, FIRST in the NORTH.

WORST CASE SCENARIO: 10-6 SECOND in the NORTH. No way they get behind Cincinnati or Cleveland. probably not Baltimore either.

Mercy Flush Preview: Fanny Fister

Ever wonder what would happen if a guy sent his wife to do a fantasy draft via a cell phone, speaker phone in a house full of other s-faced fantasy geeks? Now we know.

QB: C+ Kurt Warner and Mark Sanchez. Yikes. If Warner doesn't stay healthy, this is a disaster. Considering that he's a 38 year old concussion machine, I'm betting on disaster.

RB: B-Adrian Peterson, Joe Addai, Sammy Morris, Darren Sproles, Ricky Williams. Can't argue about Adrian Peterson but all the other RB's may not even start. Fister better hope Ronny Brown blows another ACL.

WR: C Braylon Edwards, Kevin Walter, Brandon Marshall, Torry Holt, Josh Morgan. This is a PPR league so Walter should be ok but braylon and Brandon have serious issues. One sucks the other is insane.

TE: B Kellen Winslow, Donald Lee. Lee won't give you anything. The General plays for Tampa Bay. That means Byron Leftwich. Not good.

D/ST: C Miami. Nothing special, nothing too bad. Ted Ginn Jr. could help.

K: B John Kasay. Worst thing about this kicker is spelled J-A-K-E D-E-L-H-O-M-M-E

BOTTOM LINE: Lots of reaches, fan picks. No Championship for you, sir. Now good day.

NFL Preview: San Diego Chargers

QB: B+ I still think Phil Rivers mostly sucks but I suppose eventually I'll have to admit he's slightly above average. Playing the Broncos, Chiefs and Raiders twice a year can make anybody look good.

RB: A I think Tomlinson is going to go sick this year. One last other worldly year before the curse of thirty takes hold for good.

WR: C+ Vince Jackson, Chris Chambers, Craig Davis & Malcolm Floyd are all ok but not special.

TE: B What a surprise, I go look at the Chargers roster and Gates already has a big red cross next to his name. He can't be counted on anymore.

OL: A Outside of Marcus McNeil, none of these guys is a big name all pro but somebody has to be making Sproles, Tomlinson look good.

DL: B- They do the job of keeping the OL off the LB's. Looking back, doesn't Luis Castillo look like a genius for just admitting his roid use a few years before everybody and their brother started getting outed in the papers?

LB: B It's still preseason but Shawn Merriman still doesn't look right. The Chargers defense was awful without him last year. If he doesn't bounce back, they could be crap again.

DB: C+ Antonio Cromartie reminds me a lot of Phil Buchanan when he played for the Raiders. Lots of big plays, lots of TD's allowed. This isn't a compliment. Jammer and the Safties are just average. That might also be the worst name of a band ever.

P/K: B Who couldn't kick in San Diego?

COACHING: D It's just about time for the era of Norv to turn sour.

BEST CASE SCENARIO: 13-3, FIRST in the WEST.

WORST CASE SCENARIO: 11-5, FIRST in the WEST. The division really, really, sucks.

The Last Swim of the Cowardly Lion

Well, Ted Kennedy finally died at the age of 77. The last of the old school leftists is gone.

My own personal reaction to the news was a mixture of indifference and unhappy anticipation for the news blitz that would surely follow lionizing the now deceased Senator.

And oh how those sycophants came on today. To listen to them you would've thought Teddy was put in the Senate by God himself, to save the beloved institution from mortal hands. You might have even thought he was a good man.

Sadly, both things are false.

I did wonder about poor Mary Jo Kopechne. Would she finally be able to confront the man who let her drown in a river? The idea made for good theatre of the mind but if there is an afterlife, surely these two will not be bumping into each other anytime soon.

What of Mary Jo's family? Surely there must be some left. I hope they leave the TV off today and for a few days until Camelot mania ends.

All of this glowing coverage for Teddy, creating a myth out of whole cloth, is really a fitting end to the Kennedy ear, which was itself a myth. One of the greatest frauds ever foisted upon the American people.

What exactly have the Kennedy's done to deserve such praise?

Papa Joe was a Mob connected, elitist, Nazi sympathizer who made tons of money illegally and used his money to buy influence for his kids.

Brother John did get elected to the House, Senate and President. No small feat but what's the legacy? The bay of Pigs was a debacle, the Cuban Missile Crisis was a problem of his own making and questionable resolution. Tragically, he was gunned down before he had a chance to really develop a legacy. This doesn't even address his personal life which left much to be desired.

Brother Robert was mostly famous for being Johns right hand man in many questionable decisions. He was also a hypocrite, denouncing the Mob and Union thugs while secretly working with both even going so far as to use the Mob to try and kill Castro. He also carpetbagged a Senate seat in New York. He too was tragically killed before he could add to his legacy but we can't judge history on potential, only fact.

Then there is Edward. What to make of him. You could argue that he has been the most successful Kennedy just through longevity alone. Certainly he has had his finger in many a pie from creating HMO's, to fighting for amnesty for illegals, to writing No Child Left Behind. But all of those things were done within the Senate where he was just one of many and when those decisions worked out well, Ed was there to take the credit but when they failed, he was there to assign blame (not to himself).

So while others will focus on what they see as all that's right in government, projecting their own veil of ideals and ideology on a man who deserves neither.

I choose to remember Mary Jo Kopechne and her family. I will remember Clarence Thomas and Robert Bork, savagely attacked for being originalists when reading the constitution. Thomas for being a black originalist. I will remember all the other people on the opposite political spectrum from Kennedy he attacked as racist, bigot, homophobes for simply disagreeing with him. That's a legacy with real substance to it.

And of the Senate? The Dems need a new icon to rally around, a New Old Lion to replace the Old Old Lion.

How about Robert Byrd? I can think of nothing more fitting. After all, the liberals made a hero out of an intern drowning, drunken socialist, why shouldn't they try and turn the former KKK member into the new liberal standard bearer?

One lie is no bigger the last.

NFL Preview: Kansas City Chiefs

QB: B+ When I heard that Matt Cassell was being pushed for his job i assumed it was by Tyler Thigpen. Imagine my surprise when it was Brodie Croyle. I'm not sure who's daughter Thigpen fooled around with to get stuck in the doghouse but he might be the best QB on the team. One things for sure, it ain't Brodie Croyle.

RB: C+ If Larry Johnson is refreshed as he says he is, this unit could be pretty good with Smith and Charles at backup. The odds are though that Johnson is the spent rusher we all think he is.

WR: D+ here's where the train gets off track. Bowe is good but more of a 2. The ghost of Bobby Engram and Mark Bradley don't give you much.

TE: D- One reason the WR's are bad? No Tony Gonzalez.

OL: C Pretty decent run blockers, iffy pass blockers. That's one reason Thigpen was such a good QB, his ability to run around and make plays. Cassell is more statue-esque.

DL: C Rookie Jackson, Tank Tyler and injury prone Glenn Dorsey should be a good DL but they don't play to their talent. Dorsey needs to pick it up after top 5 draft position.

LB: C Tamba Hali and Derrick Johnson are both A+ LB's but who is manning the other two spots? Zack Thomas and Mike Vrabel. Yikes. I thought they both retired.

DB: D Yikes. The best cover man in the group is the minuscule Brandon Flowers, all 5-9 of him. That's not good but I guess there has to be a reason why a team sucks.

P/K: C never heard of either one.

COACHING: Inc. First year for Todd Haley.

BEST CASE SCENARIO: 10-6, SECOND in the WEST. Denver and Oakland could be really bad.

WORST CASE SCENARIO: 2-14, FOURTH in the WEST. So could the Chiefs.

NFL Preview: Washington Redskins

QB: C- What's worse than having Jason Campbell as your starting QB? Having him lose his job to Todd Collins. Seems like there's nothing good in DC these days.

RB: B+ Clinton Portis should get an A but he is injury prone and likes to disappear sometimes. You could say the same thing about Ledell Betts. FANTASY TIP! Portis may be injury prone but you should take him above the Stephen Jacksons of the world.

WR: C Santana Moss and Randle El are both average receivers these days and a little on the small side. Moss can still make the big play but he goes long stretches being shut down. Having a bad QB doesn't help.

TE: A Chris Cooley's decline last year was mostly the result of crappy line play that made him have to block more and QB's that can't throw the ball.

OL: C Randy Thomas is a pretty good guard, Chris Samuels is good but brittle, brittle brittle. They need him big time or a slightly below average line goes to crap.

DL: A Daniels, Haynesworth and Carter should make for a stud D line. Lets hope Haynesworth can avoid the Skin free agent curse.

LB: B I'll the first to admit that I thought Orakpo would suck. When I hear "Needs to be motivated" that's a red flag but I saw him the other night and the guys an animal. The other guys suck though, I'm sure.

DB: B+ You gotta love Rogers and Smoot but what's the deal with DeAngelo Hall? I'm convinced no team that he's on will ever make the playoffs again.

P/K: D Suisham was brutal last year, missing 10 field goals. Janikowski thinks he needs to get his act together.

COACHING: D This team underachieves. Does anybody have Mike Shannahans number?

WORST CASE SCENARIO: 4-12, LAST in the EAST. If campbell doesn't deliver and they have their typical injury woes, they suck big time.

BEST CASE SCENARIO: 8-8, THIRD in the EAST. Even if those things don't happen, there's no way the pass more than one team in the division.

2010 United States Senate - NV

SHARK ATTACK!

A new poll that came out this weekend shows Democratic Senate Majority Stooge Harry Reid has got himself into quite a situation.

It seems that three possible Republican challengers are currently polling ahead of Reid, two of them by double digits. (read the story here.)

It breaks down like such: Tarkanian 49% Reid 38%, Heller +10% over Reid and Lawton 45% Reid %40.

While all that is very good news, the real story is that first name.

Tarkanian.

In Nevada.

Could it be?

Yes! Yes it could!

That Trakanian is none other than the son of infamous towel chewing, scandal surviving, college basketball coack Jerry Tarkanian. The Shark returns!

This may please me even more than the prospect of that little weasel Reid going down like a poor mans Tom Daschle. Why, just the other day I was doing some deep thinking about the cosmos and life in general and I came to the conclusion that the wrold needed more tough guys, strong willed, boundry pushing, life in the fast lane sorts that make things happen. Guys that can beat Duke by 30 to win the championship. Guys like the Shark.

It seems karma was listening.

Lets just hope Lloyd Daniels doesn't need a job on the campaign.