Run A 4.2, Win the 8th Pick!

The 2010 NFL Draft is only two days away and for real football fans that's like telling a crack head his next fix is only two days away.

Unless you're a Raiders fan, then you get to skip the wonderful rush of your chosen drug, instead you just get to be sick, get the DT's and go straight into rehab. Darrius Heyward-Bey is one man dose of NFL Anabuse. Whatever cabal of South American miscreants that runs American soccer should just run a loop of game film of DHB and Ted Ginn Jr. getting hit in the face by perfect passes to attract cross over fans. Sure, soccer sucks and is boring enough to fill the final chamber in Dr. Jack's Death Machine but at least it isn't painful and shaming.

So what can we expect from Al's War Room? Who knows. After Okung all the tackles have questionable attitudes or work ethic. Bruce Campbell is a workout star who wasn't even an honorable mention all ACC nominee so he could fit right in. Jean Paul Pierre Pierce de Bastiste Alamain from South Florida is also a physical freak who is only hampered by his complete inability to play football, so keep an eye on him as well.

Who would I choose? Here we go:

Trent Williams T - The only other OL worth the 8 pick after Okung.

Jimmy Clausen QB - I hate Notre Dame in a way that only an Irish Catholic can yet the thought of watching that fat, lazy piece of crap Jam Jam take another snap is unbearable. Hand me my rosaries so I can pray Todd McShay straight to hell.

C.J. Spiller RB - Guess what? The only reason we forget how bad McFadden has been is because DHB and Baby Huey Russell have been so bad. Michael Bush plus an actual playmaker might actually be exciting, no?

Dez Bryant WR - DHB makes James Jett look like Steve Largent covered in stickum. Lou Murphy and Chaz Schielens are fine but don't exactly awe anybody with the afterburners. Kyle Boller needs somebody to go deep to right? Right? Anybody? (head hit keyboard)

Anyway, I'm looking forward to this draft as much as a hot twenty year old looks forward to drinks with Ben Rothlisberger. I only hope that when it's over Al and the boys can at least call me a cab.