Copa del Mundo 2010

The draw for the 2010 World Cup was today and I am now officially into it.

Don't get me wrong, soccer is still a communist sport only fit for the third world and over sensitive, granola munching little league coaches.

However, the World Cup is different because it has one element that your basic Galaxy or Real Madrid game doesn't, rampant nationalistic fervor. This one element should encourage every American to get involved in June. The combination of fanatically proud European fans plus a healthy dash of anti-American sentiment globally makes the outcomes of these games potentially devastating for the local population. As Americans, we should do all we can to back our boys as loud as possible, again, not because we like soccer but because we should all relish the opportunity to see an American go into hostile territory and beat the Euros at their own beloved game.

And what an opportunity we have right off the bat.

The Brits.

The Brits are by far a more accomplished futbol squad but if I know my history we have at least one World Cup win over the Queen's Finest and are 2-0 in wars against them. For reasons that even I can't fully comprehend, the idea of handing out star spangled beatdown to the Beckhams, that jackass Rooney and all those condescending Union Jackers that constantly attribute American disapproval of soccer to a lack of intelligence or refinement would be a sweet thing indeed. It would be even sweeter this time around as England has a better squad than they have in years.

So I encourage all Americans to get involved this summer. You have the rare opportunity to have a legitimate excuse to wake up at 4 in the morning on a Tuesday to get drunk, watch sports and have barbecue for breakfast. It's also the chance to do some legitimate, global trash talking. Aside from North Korea, you should be able to talk sh*t to any of the competing teams fans via the Internet. For the chance to have all this you have to almost nothing to lose, most Americans don't care about soccer anyway, so the losses will mean nothing but the victories will be savory.

In a related note, should the Americans get bounced early, you should feel morally obligated to root against the French and the Mexicans. The Mexicans are self explanatory, they are our biggest rival and their fans behave monstrously when we come to town. Going against them should be second nature. The French though earned scorn this year. They are a crappy team that pulled a bush league move on over achieving Irish team that got them in and kept the Irish out. FIFA apparently treats the French like NCAA officials treat Duke, except it's even more blatant.

Go Yanks!