The Red Herring Exposed - A Clue Analysis (PART 8)

THE SEVENTH MURDER - THE SINGING TELEGRAM GIRL

The Situation:
The final murder takes place near simultaneously with the previous two. The group is split into pairs and are searching the house, Ms. White turns off the power. Chaos ensures.

The Murder:
We get almost nothing to chew on about this murder. In the darkness, the doorbell rings, is answered and the poor telegramist is gunned down. We find out during the subsequent investigation by the group that the girl was the one who had an affair with Prof. Plum, cost him his practice and then informed on him to Wadsworth.

This murder breaks the pattern and to some extent the logic of the movie. The setup of the whole film is that each game piece character kills the person responsible for their blackmailing troubles. By this logic, Prof. Plum should be the one to kill the Singing Telegram Girl. Yet the setup of the movie makes this impossible. All of the other victims existed in the house for the entirety of the movie. Long enough for each killer to get over the shock of seeing their blackmailer and accomplice and then try and put together a murder plan. In this case, Prof. Plum isn't even 100% sure the girl is informing on him, he only suspects. He probably would've figured it out had she been there the whole time but that didn't happen. At no point can he possibly know that she is even coming, let alone make a plan to kill her. When she arrives during the power outage, Prof. Plum is in the basement with Mrs. Peacock and the gun is strewn on the hallway floor. Impossible that he can get upstairs, figure out who is at the door, find the gun, take the shot and return to the basement. No, Plum's murder was spent on Mr. Boddy.

So instead of Prof. Plum logically killing his nemesis, the duty falls to Wadsworth. In one respect that makes sense. Like all the other visitors that have been killed, the Singing Telegram Girl was brought to the house by Wadsworth. Only he knew about it, so he could be the only one who developed a plan to kill her. The question though is why? All during the movie Wadsworth has done nothing proactive to ensure that the group killed their informers. Aside from instructing Mr. Boddy to bring all the weapons, he essentially let the rest of the cast determine how the events played out. The main goals of this passive stance was to allow the game pieces to do all the killing, leaving Wadsworth with no blood on his hands, no troublesome informers left and more information with which to blackmail the group. Killing the Singing Telegram Girl ruins all of that though. Suddenly he himself is wrapped up in a mass murder house, just as guilty as the rest. It damages his ability to blackmail the group as he no longer has informers to their government dirt and they have equal dirt on Wadsworth as a murderer. Wadsworth has ultimately weakened his position.

This murder also adds to the general chaos of the last murder scene. As we know now, during the house searching scene, Plum and Peacock were in the basement and out of the action entirely. Mustard and Scarlett were on the main level, separated. White and Wadsworth were on the second floor, separated and Green and Yvette were in the attic. As they groups were searching, Ms. White goes down to the main level and turns off the power. Then, Wadsworth and Yvette go to the main level as well. So now we have Mustard, Scarlett, White, Wadsworth, Yvette, and the Off-Duty Policeman are on the main level and the Telegram Girl is on the front step. Additionally, Scarlett and White have to get their weapons from the same cabinet while Wadsworth has to get the gun, in the dark, from the mess in the front hall which is in plain sight for everyone. Weapons acquired, Scarlett has to get to the library, White has to get to the billiards room, Wadsworth has to stand in front of the door waiting for the bell to ring and all of them have to do this without being seen by each other or the wayward Col. Mustard who is doing something. Maybe just hiding somewhere. Even in the dark, that is a lot of movement by a lot of people in relatively short time and confined spaces. It also assumes that Mr. Green, who we know is an FBI agent investigating the blackmail, is unaware or has chosen to do nothing about the fact that Yvette has split from him. The attic didn't look huge so its very hard to believe he was fooled in any way. Ultimately Green played no role in the final burst of action.

Conclusion:
Like Yvette, the Singing Telegram Girl just had to be killed so that the movie could get to the fun part. The lack of a cohesive plan by Wadsworth finally reaches its apex as he is forced to ruin his own plan by killing the Telegram girl. I understand that the movie needed Wadsworth to do something evil so that there could be the big shocking reveal at the end that he was actually Mr. Boddy. If they couldn't figure out a way for Prof. Plum to kill the Telegram Girl, they should have left her out completely. In that situation, all six game characters would have killed someone and Wadsworth could have revealed his true identity some other way and left his master plan intact. Of course, that would leave Wadsworth with one informant left operating in the world. Maybe they should have just found a way to get Plum's informer into the house and had him kill 2 people. Would've made more sense.

Up next:
Murder #8, the final overall death. No mystery but interesting in some ways.

Up Later:
The phone call from J. Edgar Hoover and the interruption from the beatnik have to be addressed but only after the main mystery has been unraveled. Soon.

Recap:
Wadsworth: 1 murders
Peacock: 1 murder
Green: 0 murders
White: 1 murders
Mustard: 1 murders
Scarlett: 1 murders
Plum: 1 murder

Mr. Boddy: dead
The Cook: dead
Yvette: dead
Stranded Motorist: dead
Off Duty Cop: dead
Singing Telegram Girl: dead

The Red Herring Exposed - A Clue Analysis (PART 7)

THE SIXTH MURDER - YVETTE

The Situation:
Literally speaking, Yvette was killed before the Off-Duty Policeman but the story of the movie followed the policeman so I did him first. Either way, as discussed in Part 6, both murders happen nearly simultaneously. To recap, the group has split up and is searching the house in pairs. Yvette is all the way up in the attic with the clandestine FBI agent Mr. Green. The lights go out and the murder is afoot!

The Murder:
Yvette occupies unique space in this movie. On one hand, she is an informant like the cook or motorist which lines the hands of fate against her survival. On the other hand, she also acts as a member of the main cast. There are 6 game pieces characters plus Wadsworth. You need one more character to balance out the group for when they split up in pairs and Yvette was the choice. Because this is Hollywood and this was a comedy made in the 80's, I'm going to assume that the reason they kept Colleen Camp around for as long as possible are self evident.

Yvette also has more connections to other people than anyone in the movie except Wadsworth. She works for Wadsworth, she works for Ms. Scarlett, she serviced Col. Mustard for Ms. Scarlett and she had an affair with Ms. White's husband which led to the murder for which Ms. White is being blackmailed. All of these connections help explain why her murder makes utterly no sense.

When the lights go out, Yvette heads back down to the main level. Somehow without Super G-Man Green noticing. She returns to the billiards room and has a perplexing conversation. This is directly from the script:

"99 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--BILLIARD ROOM -- 99

Yvette enters quietly.

An off-screen voice can be heard.
It can't be identified, even as being male or female.
The first line sounds male, the second female.

VOICE
Shut the door.
Did anyone recognize you?

Suddenly, Yvette's French accent is gone.

YVETTE
They must have. And not just my face.
They know every inch of my body.
And they're not the only ones . . .

A noose flies onto Yvette's neck!

YVETTE
(gasping)
It's you!"

And so ends the tale of the tragic maid, prostitute spy. We know the power outage was caused by Ms. White. And we also know that Ms. White was not who Yvette was expecting to see. So who was she expecting to see? And how did they plan to meet in the billiards room at that point? Whoever she thought she was meeting couldn't have known about Ms. White's actions, so what was the original plan to get all the way from the attic back to the billiards room with out anyone noticing? In her mind, she had to get away from Mr. Green, then past White and Wadsworth and then avoid Mustard/Scarlett on the main level to get to the billiards room unobserved.

The only logical explanation was that Yvette was going to meet Ms. Scarlett or Wadsworth. I would guess Scarlett since she was already on that level of the house. Had she wanted to meet Wadsworth she only would have had to go down one level and Wadsworth had already split from Ms. White. Of course we know that both White and Wadsworth had snuck to the main level at that point but Yvette wouldn't know that. The only problem with either explanation is that the conversation makes no sense. Ms. Scarlett and Wadsworth would have no reason to ask if anyone recognized Yvette. It was made very clear to everyone that Yvette knew Ms. White at the very beginning and that Scarlett and Mustard knew each other. During the examination of the film and later during the endings, it was exposed that the pics were of Yvette and Mustard in flagrante delicto. Even the cop recognized Yvette in front of everybody. Of all the mysteries in the movie, what Yvette was up to isn't one of them. Everyone recognized her essentially. So that beginning question is nonsense. Yvettes answer is equally nonsensical. She essentially admits that everyone knows who she is. Then she admits that some of them have slept with her. She then mysteriously hints that that there is another person, maybe who she thought she was talking to(?), also knew "every inch of her body." Also, the French accent is gone. This scenario only points to some situation where Yvette thinks she is talking to someone outside the people in the movie that we already know. An outside police presence, J. Edgar Hoover perhaps? She is then surprised to find out that she has been talking to Ms. White instead of the mystery contact and is killed. The problem is, we never get an ounce of evidence as to why she did what she did. Here are all the people in the movie that she could have been trying to see:

Mr. Boddy - dead
Cook - dead
Stranded Motorist - dead
Off-Duty Policeman - possible that Yvette might have been trying to talk to him. He also worked for Scarlett in service of the brothel. But everyone knew he was in the library and Yvette went to the billiards room.
Singing Telegram Girl - not arrived
Wadsworth - perhaps but the location and conversation make no sense.
Scarlett - perhaps, location is good, conversation makes no sense.
Mustard - no, he might want to kill Yvette himself and that conversation wouldn't make sense. Yvette would know better than to try and meet him privately when she helped blackmail him.
Peacock - no, wrong location, no connections, no reason to meet.
Plum - no, wrong location, no connection, no reason to meet.
Green - This might have made sense, that Yvette was secretly working for the FBI and needed to check in with Green. Bu they were paired together all the way in the attic and could have talked in private all they wanted.
White - She never would have tried to meet her in private, same reasons as Mustard.
Police Chief - the beatnik chief hasn't arrived yet and even if he had, he wasn't in the house.

That's every character in the movie. Yvette's intended contact is a mystery and remains so. It doesn't make sense in the context of the movie. The movie needed to get rid of Yvette so that only the game pieces would be left at the end having murdered someone. This contrived plot thread was what they came up with.

That brings us to the nonsensical Ms. White plan. Apparently, she turned off the power, got the rope and then went to the billiards room to wait for Yvette. We know that's how it went because White was in the room when Yvette arrived. So how did White know that Yvette would return to the billiards room given the opportunity to do so secretly? No idea. We've already determined that Yvettes motivation for going downstairs is unknowable in the context of the film. If we can't know, then White can't either. And there is no other reason for Ms. White to go downstairs for a weapon. Mr. Boddy is already dead and none of the other people alive can inform on her. Had Ms. White went downstairs, got the rope and then, as she was heading to the attic to kill Yvette, noticed that Yvette had come downstairs, she could have snuck up behind Yvette to strangle her. That would have made some sense. As it stands, Ms. White pretending to be Yvette's mystery contact to lure Yvette into the billiards room is lacking in believeability. That conversation still makes no sense, Yvette dropping the accent makes no sense and Ms. White's knowledge of what Yvette was doing makes no sense. Pretty sloppy murder that they quickly slip into the part of the movie mostly dedicated to the Off-Duty Policeman. Yvette gets only slightly more screen time in death as the Singing Telegram Girl.

Once again, Wadsworth, the supposed mastermind of this movie, is not participating in the events at all. His lack of involvement becomes apparent soon.

Conclusion:
The movie knows that it's racing towards the part where Tim Curry gets to do 30 minutes of slapstick exposition and it doesn't want to waste anymore time getting there. The cops murder was the last bit of movie that provides clues that the audience could theoretically follow. Yvette and the Telegram girl (discussed next) just need to be killed so the final act can begin. Colleen Camp was a bigger part of the movie so they give her some extra, nonsensical, dialogue and off she goes.

Up next:
Murder #7, the final mysterious death.

Up Later:
The phone call from J. Edgar Hoover and the interruption from the beatnik have to be addressed but only after the main mystery has been unraveled. Soon.

Recap:
Wadsworth: 0 murders
Peacock: 1 murder
Green: 0 murders
White: 1 murders
Mustard: 1 murders
Scarlett: 1 murders
Plum: 1 murder

Mr. Boddy: dead
The Cook: dead
Yvette: dead
Stranded Motorist: dead
Off Duty Cop: dead
Singing Telegram Girl: about to ring her last doorbell

The Red Herring Exposed - A Clue Analysis (PART 6)

THE FIFTH MURDER - THE OFF-DUTY POLICEMAN

The Situation:
The group has split up into pairs and has begun searching the house. During this search Col. Mustard separates from Ms. Scarlett and kills the stranded motorist. The secret passage is also revealed. Outside the house we see a cop inspect the Stranded Motorists car. Back inside the house, Yvette has shot open the door that had been trapping Mustard/Scarlett in with the dead body. Col. Mustard begins to verbally accompany Yvette for nearly killing him. The chandelier rope finally breaks from having been shot and the chandelier crashes to the ground, scaring the group. As the group deals with the crash and discusses how the weapon cabinet could have been opened, the doorbell rings. the cop has arrived to check if the Stranded Motorist had been by.

The Murder:
This murder gets padded out quite a bit. I assume thats so the movie could actually be movie length instead of a special edition episode of Mr. Bean. Mr. Green, at his mysterious best, opens the door as he has nothing to hide, then immediately slams the door. Then when the other guests try to deny the motorist was there, Green informs him that he was in fact there. Wadsworth then sends him off to the library where he is locked in. He seems to recognize Yvette. The group then decides to clean up the broken glass (odd) when the phone rings and the cop answers (odder) and reveals that it was J. Edgar Hoover on the phone (oddest). While Wadsworth handles the Hoover call, Mr. Green shows the cop around and the rest of the group stages the drunken party with the corpses of previous victims. The open-minded cop seems satisfied with the ruse and again asks to use the phone. He is again locked in the library.

The group then decides to finish the search despite the cops presence. The pairs return to their previous floors. The kitchen passage is discovered. The power is then cut and 3 people get killed, including our dear cop. In the darkness, the cop suffers essentially the same fate as the Stranded Motorist. The door unlocks and slowly opens, a gloved hand holding a pipe approaches and clubs the Policeman to death. Oddly enough, the cop was also actually calling someone and telling them how scared he was and was about to tell them where he was when he was killed. After two other killings, the lights return and the group surveys the carnage.

We know from both the A and C ending that Mrs. Scarlett killed the Policeman during the power outage caused by Ms. White. The reasoning makes sense in that Scarlett killed the Policeman for informing on her brothel activities. The footage in the movie generally supports the explanation given although not much of it is shown with the lights out. I do question some of the logistics though. Ms. Scarlett was already on the main level with Col. Mustard and we saw from their footage that they had already searched everything and were re-searching some rooms, after they discovered the kitchen passage. We don't see how Scarlett separated from Mustard but we do know that at the same time that Scarlett was killing the Policeman, both Ms. White and Wadsworth were coming down the stairs to kill victims 6 and 7 while Yvette was coming down two levels from the attic. Essentially there were 3 murders taking place at once, on the same floor, involving 6 people, with Col. Mustard wandering around. Two of those people had to return to the top floor as well before the lights were thrown back on. That's a lot of people in a small space to not bump into each other at all.

Once again though we have to return to the motivations and plans of the characters. The behavior of the policeman makes no sense. He was called to the house by Wadsworth for some reason. Perhaps he was given the cover story of investigating the found car on the road belonging to the stranded motorist. I originally thought that maybe the Policeman was the most realistic of the victims as he recognized Yvette and was suspicious of what was going on in the house. This would make sense if he was invited by Wadsworth but found the situation was different than he expected. I don't think that's the case though as the cop really starts investigating whats going on in the house. He should know for certain that something is going on with the criminal conspiracy that he is a part of. He should be trying to leave or get in contact with Wadsworth. Instead, he's searching rooms, threatening to be let out and answering the phone when it rings. He even investigated the Stranded Motorists car outside the house. Just like the stranded motorist, he spent his last moments on earth calling some stranger to express his misgivings about what was going on. No, his actions only make sense in the context of him being a real off duty police officer investigating an abandoned car. Any sensible person, especially with police training, would realize something was off when the door opened and he saw his boss, one of his boss's prostitutes and the person he was informing on his boss to all together. You don't question whether you know the prostitute and ignore the main players.

Also, Wadsworth has no plan whatsoever here. Wadsworth allows the members of the gathering to be scattered randomly around the house at the direction of Col. Mustard. This makes it infinitely more difficult for each new victim to be killed. Scarlett is on the first floor and ready to deal with the cop but, as we will see in our discussion of the next 2 victims, Ms. White, Yvette, Prof. Plum and Wadsworth are all completely out of position. Had the drawing of straws gone differently then Ms. Scarlett could easily have been in the attic or paired with someone more intellectually resilient than Col. Mustard. Had either of those things happened, Scarlett probably doesn't get near the cop. It also depended entirely on the rogue actions of Ms. White settling a personal vendetta that the limited opportunity presented itself. During this sequence, Wadsworth is a bystander whose bad planning ultimately get him involved in the final action, probably against his desires.

Conclusion:
Through a very narrow looking glass the Scarlett killing of the Off-Duty Policeman is fine. The power went out, she was close to the victim and she took her chance to take him out. All well and good. The scene as a whole though, beginning with the Policeman's arrival and ending with the discovery of the Singing Telegram Girl, is pure nonsense. We shall see more why in the next two parts.

Up Next:
Murder #6, technically happened before murder #5 but not from a storytelling perspective.

Up Later:
The phone call from J. Edgar Hoover and the interruption from the beatnik have to be addressed but only after the main mystery has been unraveled.

Recap:
Wadsworth: 0 murders
Peacock: 1 murder
Green: 0 murders
White: 0 murders
Mustard: 1 murders
Scarlett: 1 murders
Plum: 1 murder

Mr. Boddy: dead
The Cook: dead
Yvette: dead but awaiting discovery
Stranded Motorist: dead
Off Duty Cop: dead
Singing Telegram Girl: about to ring her last doorbell

The Red Herring Exposed - A Clue Analysis (PART 5)

THE FOURTH MURDER - THE STRANDED MOTORIST

The Situation:

By this point, Mr. Boddy has been killed again and there has been a small panic in the hallway before they bring all the bodies into the study for safekeeping. After a short discussion that reveals that weapons are all over the place, Wadsworth suggests that all the weapons be locked up in the cabinet. As they open the front door to throw away the weapon key, the Stranded Motorist appears looking to use the phone. After some discussion, the group invites him inside to use the phone in the lounge. They key then gets thrown away.

The Murder:

This is where we see the first concrete evidence of a murder plot. Recognizing the motorist, Col. Mustard then interrogates Wadsworth to see if there is anyone else in the house. Under the pretense of verifying that the house is empty, Mustard hatches the plan to split up and search the house in pairs. Clearly,  Mustard has already made the decision to kill of the person informing on him. 

There hand of fate is firmly on the scale against the Motorist at this point. By blind luck of the draw, Mustard, paired with Scarlett, draw the stick that places them on the main level with the motorist. We see the various pairs searching but the Mustard pair is the only one that matters. First they check the billiard room. Then they check the hall closet. Aggressively. When they get to the piano room(?) Mustard leaves Scarlett to go "search the kitchen". Now that they are separated, Mustard goes to the study and burns the evidence, retrieves the wrench and kills the Motorist.The next time we see Scarlett, she and Mustard have reunited in the Conservatory where Mustard "finds" the secret passage to the lounge. He breaks character and volunteers to go first, knowing that there is no danger because he already killed the Motorist using the same passage. At no other point does Mustard display the willingness to risk himself into the unknown. The screaming of Ms. Scarlett brings the others back to the main level, Wadsworth tries to break down the door, Yvette ends up shooting the lock and the chandelier falls, shatters and the Off Duty Policeman arrives. The secret passage is revealed to all.

The logistics of the murder make some sense I suppose. Col. Mustard splitting from Scarlett should have been a huge red flag but then again, White and Wadsworth separated as well and didn't think it was odd so who knows. The only real question is whether or not Mustard had enough time to do all the things he did. When he claimed to go to the kitchen he actually returned to the study, gathered up the evidence, threw it in the fire, unlocked the cabinet, got a weapon, ran to the Conservatory to use the secret passage, enter the lounge, kill the Motorist, return to the conservatory and then go back down the hall to where Ms. Scarlett is, in such a way that looks convincingly like he is returning from the kitchen. During this whole time frame, Ms. Scarlett is . . . . . . looking behind a curtain. I don't think there is any way Mustard could have done all that in the appropriate time frame but a little leeway should be given I suppose for movie magic.

Wadsworth on the other hand has completely lost control of his master plan. He invited the motorist to the house but after that he was out of the picture entirely. Not only did the drawing of straws put him upstairs with another known killer (Ms. White), he himself has led the charge to lock up all the weapons in the cabinet. Maybe Wadsworth could have guessed that the former soldier in Col. Mustard would try and kill the Motorist but that doesn't explain why Wadsworth would actively make it harder to do so.

And finally we come to the Motorist himself. What exactly was the plan? Like the fake Mr. Boddy, the motorist was invited by Wadsworth and given the role of the Stranded Motorist to play. We know this is so because if he was in fact a stranded motorist, there would have been no reason to pretend he didn't recognize anyone who answered the door. He would have just asked his co-conspirator Wadsworth to use the phone. So we have to assume that everything that the Motorist did was under order from Wadsworth, which begs the question as to what he was doing. Why on earth did the Motorist call anybody and why was he still performing the confused stranger surrounded by weirdos routine on the phone? Wadsworth went to great lengths to make sure all his accomplices and victims were gathered under one roof. Why would Wadsworth have instructed the Motorist to involve an outsider in the operation? It makes no sense. As we shall see again, the only reason the Motorist needed to make a call was because the script needed to distract him from his own impending murder. There is no in-movie logic that explains it otherwise. The only guess I could come up with is that the Motorist came to the house as Wadsworth instructed but then quickly sussed out the fact that something was off. But if that was the case, he would have been calling for help to arrive quickly, not meandering around the fact that his old boss was at a weird dinner party. The Motorist, Like Mr. Boddy and later the Policeman, is caught in the loop of acting in such a way that their actions only make sense if they are in fact their characters and not accomplices putting on a show. Which is of course impossible. There was also no reason to actually wreck his car if Wadsworth simply invited him to the house. He could have pretended to be a Stranded Motorist without actually leaving a bunch of evidence on the road.

Aside from all that, the actual footage in the movie fails to address one last fact vital to this murder. How exactly did Col. Mustard know about the secret passage? We know that's how he killed the Motorist because we actually saw it in the third ending but we aren't given that bit of information. There are only two scenarios given that explains how people know about the passage. The first is from Wadsworth who says that the house is a friends and that he's known all along. There's no reason why Wadsworth would have told Col. Mustard about the passage. The second way is through Yvette. In the first ending Wadsworth explains that Yvette told Scarlett about the passage so she could kill people. That doesn't begin to answer why Yvette would know about the passage at all, she wasn't a full time maid at the house or anything, and it also doesn't explain why Yvette would tell Col. Mustard. Yvette is getting paid to inform on Col. Mustard, why would she help him destroy the evidence of their affair? That would upset both Mr. Boddy and Ms. Scarlett as they both have dirt on Mustard. The only reason I could think of is that Yvette wanted the photos destroyed as well because she was in them but Wadsworth made it seem like Yvette did that sort of thing regularly for Ms. Scarlett. Destroying one set of photos probably wouldn't matter much in the final analysis.

Conclusion:

The logistics of the murder work fine but the timing in its execution are suspect, as are the behaviors of the Stranded Motorist and Wadsworth. By this point, the movie is relying on the novelty of the multiple endings plus the manic energy of Wadsworth's explanations to conceal the nonsensical parts of the plot that become apparent on repeat viewings. And for the most part its effective. By the time you get to the final ending you kind of confuse whats happened in which ending and whats actually real. It makes the proposed solution seem logical.

Up Next:

Murder #5, the Off-Duty Policeman. One of the funnier scenes in the movie and again, some of its least logical.

Recap:
Wadsworth: 0 murders
Peacock: 1 murder
Green: 0 murders
White: 0 murders
Mustard: 1 murders
Scarlett: 0 murders
Plum: 1 murder

Mr. Boddy: dead
The Cook: dead
Yvette: alive
Stranded Motorist: dead
Off Duty Cop: investigating the Stranded Motorist's car
Singing Telegram Girl: not arrived

53rd Academy Awards

My series reviewing the Oscars of my lifetime continues.
The 53rd Academy Awards. April 14, 1980
Hosted By Johnny Carson
Delayed a day due to the attempted assassination of President Reagan

Nominees:
Ordinary People - Yikes, there is a lot going on here and most of it looks terrible. I had only ever heard of this movie but never seen or read anything about it. From what I can tell, a kid is depressed, possibly suicidal, stemming from an incident on a boat where it looks like someone drowns. This scenario apparently makes Mary Tyler Moore hate the kid (her son) and fight constantly with Donald Sutherland (husband). This might be a generational thing but I don't understand what the central conflict is. Mary Tyler Moore just looks like a monster who hates her kid for being traumatized. Besides, why is she fighting with Donald Sutherland? Has she not met Keifer? He's a great dad! Let him do his thing. I will never watch this.

The Coal Miner's Daughter - "Winters Bone - The Musical!" Egads, where to start. A biopic of Loretta Lynn apparently, of whom I know little and care less. This movie looks like the Alpha and Omega of country music stories. It has everything; troubling young romances, Grand Old Opry, coal mining, alcoholism, adultry, spousal abuse, Kentucky, etc. It does seem to have some top notch Tommy Lee Jones but I've never seen this movie, you've never seen this movie and yet either one of us could write it tomorrow. It also seems like the longest movie ever made but I can't and won't verify that by watching it.

The Elephant Man - David Lynch makes an appearance directing this heartwarming tale of John Merrick, the severely disfigured elephant man. I actually saw this movie as a kid, I think with my Dad somehow, maybe on TV, and all I really remember was the ending and how utterly overcome I was by sadness. It is awful to watch and few things have made me feel as bad as I did at the end of this movie. On the other hand, I've heard nine million people do some variation of "I am not an animal! I am a human being!" So I guess things evened out. I wonder if one director has been nominated for three movies as odd as The Elephant Man, Blue Velvet and Mulholland Drive.

Raging Bull - Finally, something right in my wheelhouse. Scorcese, DeNiro, Boxing! This a truly great movie but make no mistake, it is a painful couple of hours. LaMotta is a beast of man and watching him destroy (literally) everyone and everything in his life is tough to look at sometimes. DeNiro is just too awesome to ignore although every time I watch it I get more convinced he actually knocked out Cathy Moriarty.

Tess - Roman Polanski is a sexual predator and so is the guy who edited and/or did the voiceover for this trailer. As best I can tell, the plot of this movie revolves around the main points that 1) Nastassja Kinski is attractive and 2) She agreed to be in this movie. There's not much else going on here. There is a thread bare pretense of a story involving a poor farm girl being snatched away by ruthless rich guys which I assume has all the depth and character of a Penthouse letter of the month. There's something going on with the church because of course there is and somebody's past comes back to haunt them anew. Delightful. Oddly enough, for as shallow as I assume this movie to be, the vibe I get from it is more Barry Lyndon than Silk Stalkings. Make of that what you will but rest assured that I do not mean it as a compliment. I'll never watch this but I think I can safely set the over/under on rapes in this movie at 2.5 and 5.5 for the number of nude scenes.

The Outcome:
Ordinary People wins which I guess is ok. Tess or the Coal Miner's Daughter would have been a travesty and The Elephant Man was probably too weird and Lynchian to win. I'm guessing that when the Academy had to vote, Raging Bull was just too unpleasant to get enough votes and DeNiro winning was the best they could hope for. Besides, Ordinary People has that same kind of "Important Movie" vibe that a movie like Scent of a Woman or Dead Poets Society has and those kinds of movies do well come awards time. I would've voted Raging Bull or Elephant Man and refused to watch the others on principle.

Extra Fun Facts:
Did you know that whenever I saw the movie title Tess I immediately confused it with Nell, the Jodie Foster feral cabin woman movie? Quite a mix up indeed!

This years Academy Awards also missed out on the chance to dump The Coal Miner's Daughter and Tess and nominate Altered States and Brubaker instead. Make that change and suddenly you've got a powerhouse year on your hands!

(not pictured; Nastassja Kinski in Tess)

The Red Herring Exposed - A Clue Analysis (PART 4)

THE THIRD MURDER - MR. BODDY REDUX

The Situation:
The successful attempt on Mr. Boddy occurs when the group runs to the kitchen to check on the Cook. At this point the Cook is already dead, stabbed by Mrs. Peacock, but the group doesn't know it yet. They only think to check on her after returning to the study and discussing who is in the house and what could possibly be going on.

The Murder:
It's at this point in the movie where the multiple endings and edits starts to cause trouble with the on-screen logic of these murders. It's important to remember just how the three endings are presented. The first fake ending (Scarlett ending) shows every killing, start to finish. The Second fake ending and the Third True ending don't rehash the the murder of Mr. Boddy or the Cook, they simply start with the series of murders that commenced with the Stranded Motorist. The problem though is that the stated explanation for this murder doesn't match up with the film.

There are three scenarios presented as to who killed Mr. Boddy the second time. In the first ending it was Yvette, who hid in the study, waited for the group to leave, then killed Mr. Boddy as he tried to escape. The second ending shows Mrs. Peacock going from the kitchen to the study via secret passage in the commotion surrounding the cooks death to finish off Mr. Boddy. The supposed true ending though only states that Prof. Plum did the killing without showing it. The only clue as to how he did it is when someone else exclaims that Plum "Wasn't in the kitchen when the cook was found!" This is the smoking gun that implicates Prof. Plum and he readily admits that he did it after Wadsworth exposes himself as the real Mr. Boddy. "Then who did I kill? My butler. Aw shucks!"

The video we are shown though supports all three versions of the killing and by doing so, undercuts them all. When the gang runs to the kitchen, Yvette does not go with them. She never appears in the kitchen and no mention of her is ever made. Presumably she is sitting in the study with the faking death Mr. Boddy the entire time. Yet we know she didn't do the killing. Professor Plum and Mrs. Peacock on the other hand, do run with the group to the kitchen. When the group is looking for the cook, who is about to fall out of the freezer, Plum and Peacock are clearly behind Wadsworth, fully in the kitchen looking around for the cook. Oddly enough, once the dead cook falls, Plum and Peacock disappear from the scene. They have no lines during the whole thing, they simply vanish. That is, until Wadsworth declares that they should bring the cook to the study to keep the kitchen tidy, then Plum and Peacock reappear to the scene, behind Wadsworth again where they were at the beginning of the scene. This positioning is problematic. We are presented with two possible ways the killer was able to get the drop on Mr. Boddy the second time. The first one is that someone stayed in the study, hid, and killed Boddy when he got up. The second is that someone used the secret passage when everyone had their backs to the freezer when the cook fell. This is a problem though because we can see that angle for the duration of the cook falling scene. Plum and Peacock never go near the freezer and therefore couldn't have used the secret passage. Its conceivable that Prof. Plum simply backed out of the kitchen, as he was close to the door in the shots where we can see him, and ran back to the study to kill Mr. Boddy. The problem with that scenario, and really the secret passage scenario as well, is that if Plum returned to the study either way, he would've found Yvette there waiting in the study. Are we really to believe that Prof. Plum would've murdered Mr. Boddy right in front of Yvette? We know from the rest of the movie the Yvette was eventually murdered by Ms. White and that Prof. Plum had no interaction with Yvette during the movie. Had Plum killed Mr. Boddy and then attacked Yvette to remove a witness, that might make some sense but Plum doesn't even try to kill the Singing Telegram Girl, who is informing on him, so it seems unlikely that he would kill in front of witnesses with the idea that he could just kill that person later.

Conclusion:
As presented, this murder doesn't make sense. Prof. Plum simply could not have killed Mr. Boddy at that time in the manner explained. He was in the kitchen with the rest of the group, didn't use the secret passage and there was a witness in the study anyway. I suspect that when editing this movie, there was three shots of the scene where the Cook was found dead. One where each of the three proposed killers (Yvette, Peacock and Plum) was missing. The problem is that they showed us the "Yvette was missing" ending in the first fake ending but then didn't ever show us the scene where Plum was missing from (and Yvette and Peacock were present in) the kitchen. Without showing us that scene they're simply too many killers in the study when the murder happens and it can't be reconciled. A bad edit as opposed to a a bad plot though.

Up Next:
After Mr. Boddy is really killed, we enter into the logic stretching string of informant murders that begins with Murder #4 - the Stranded Motorist. We again have to delve into the murky waters of character motivation and behavior.

Recap:
Wadsworth: 0 murders
Peacock: 1 murder
Green: 0 murders
White: 0 murders
Mustard: 0 murders
Scarlett: 0 murders
Plum: 1 murder

Mr. Boddy: dead
The Cook: dead
Yvette: alive
Stranded Motorist: not arrived
Off Duty Cop: not arrived
Singing Telegram Girl: not arrived

The Red Herring Exposed - A Clue Analysis (PART 3)

THE SECOND MURDER - THE COOK

The Situation:
The series of events that lead to the murder of the cook begin towards the end of the hijinks following the supposed death of Mr. Boddy in murder #1. The investigation into what killed Mr. Boddy eventually focused on the cognac and the possibility that it was poisoned. Mrs. Peacock, hysterical from fear due to her also drinking the cognac, begins screaming and is laid out by Mr. Green. Yvette then begins to scream in the billiard room, having perhaps drunk the poison cognac she learned about listening to and recording the conversation in the study.

The Murder:
When Yvette begins to scream the full cast races out of the study and into the billiards room where Yvette is. Mrs. Peacock is the last person to leave the study and has disappeared by the time the gang arrives at the billiard room. When the gang returns with to the study with Yvette, Mrs. Peacock is back with the group and is actually the first one to return to the study. To have enough time to commit the murder Mrs. Peacock must have already grabbed the knife when the whole gang left the study to go to Yvette. She then continued on to the kitchen while the main group was knocking on the billiard room door and stabbed the cook and stuffed her in the freezer. She must have been moving quick though. We get the explanation that the reason nobody heard the cook scream was that Yvettes screaming covered it up. Yvette quit screaming though pretty much as soon as the group got there and we actually see Mrs. Peacock slide behind everyone as they approach the billiard room door so there isn't much time to get further down the hall and do some stabbing. Once the killing was done though, Peacock would have plenty of time to get back to the group because they spent quite a bit of time in the billiard room talking to Yvette. The first ending suggests that the killer returned to the study using the secret passage but there is no evidence of that and there was also no need. Once the murder was over she could just get back to the group, there was time for that. We also see what appears to be Mrs. Peacock entering the study at the front of the group coming in, not already there having gone through the secret passage.

Conclusion:
This murder is actually wrapped up pretty nicely. The cook has almost no speaking lines or memorable actions in the entire film so we don't have to worry about the issue of character motivation that is going to plague so many of the other minor characters. The only questionable issue is whether or not it's believable that Mrs. Peacock could have committed the murder quickly enough to mask the screams but we don't actually have any evidence the cook did any screaming so ultimately, who cares. Mrs. Peacock's reasoning and calculations are spot on though. To the best of her knowledge, Mr. Boddy has just been murdered by one of the other guests. She correctly realizes that the Cook is the last one left that can affirmatively incriminate her for taking bribes. The other guests and Wadsworth know about it of course but they only have hearsay knowledge so that isn't much of a threat. They also have their own secrets and problems being implicated in the murder of Mr. Boddy and the Cook, so exposing Peacocks secrets probably aren't high on their list of priorities. Had Mr. Boddy actually been Mr. Boddy, Mrs. Peacock could've solved all her problems in the first 30 minutes of the movie.

This is another example of dumb luck for Wadsworth. He did nothing to instigate the actions that led to the cooks death. The fortuitous murder was simply the result of Mrs. Peacock being a murderer and the coincidence that she happened to be drinking cognac when Professor Plum opined that the death of Mr. Boddy could be poison by cognac. Without both things happening simultaneously with the covering noise of Yvette screaming and its difficult to see Mrs. Peacock getting a chance to murder The Cook, a woman quite a bit younger and more physically imposing than our Senators wife. We are now up to 2 murders that were executed simply because Wadsworth apparently has a galaxy level brain understanding of the true nature of his guests and their morals. It should be noted though that as the group went to see Yvette, Wadsworth was the last one to reach the billiards room, aside from Mrs. Peacock. When Peacock actually slides past the group to continue on to the kitchen, she actually brushes past Wadsworth who kind of glances around before going into the billiard room. It's entirely probably that Wadsworth knew at the time what exactly was going on.

The only interesting thing to consider here is whether or not Yvette screaming was an intentional distraction ordered by Wadsworth. She doesn't seem to react to the commotion surrounding the gunshot attempt on Mr. Boddy but does for the possibly poisoned cognac? We do see her drinking the cognac at one point but we also see her serve all of the cognac being drunk at the time. If Mr. Boddy had been poisoned either she would have been the one to do it or the poison would have been added to his drink after it had been served. There's no real way Yvette could have been affected by a poisoned bottle of cognac since she was in more control of it than anyone. Additionally, she seemed to be drinking the cognac from the billiards room, not the study. Either way, if Wadsworth told her to scream to create chaos and some kind of opening for Mr. Boddy to escape and/or give someone else an opportunity to kill, he didn't take it and it was only dumb luck that another guest decided to kill someone. Neither scenario makes much sense but the whole screaming episode allowed there to be a time gap for somebody to commit a murder, to keep the plot moving, and it reminded all of us that Yvette was in the movie and was going to become a more major character than the cook or Mr. Boddy.

Up Next:
Murder #3, the actual murder of Mr. Boddy which happens nearly simultaneously with the murder of The Cook. This is also where the editing or the plotting starts to get off the rails a little bit.

Recap:
Wadsworth: 0 murders
Peacock: 1 murder
Green: 0 murders
White: 0 murders
Mustard: 0 murders
Scarlett: 0 murders
Plum: 1 attempted murder

Mr. Boddy: faking death
The Cook: dead
Yvette: alive
Stranded Motorist: not arrived
Off Duty Cop: not arrived
Singing Telegram Girl: not arrived

The Red Herring Exposed - A Clue Analysis (PART 2)

THE FIRST MURDER - MR. BODDY

The Situation:
The first murder is the one most under the control of Wadsworth, aside from the Singing Telegram Girl. The guests have all come to the house and the tension is rising as they start to interact with each other, some recognizing each other, some just nervous to be there. All the while Wadsworth hides the details of the dinners supposed mystery host until after dinner. During that dinner, where everyone realizes that they have much in common, Mr. Boddy finally arrives, suitcase in hand. He is immediately presented as a scumbag and set apart from the other guests. At this point the audience is forced to assume that Wadsworth and the game pieces are the "heroes" of the movie with Mr. Boddy the "villain" whose murder will set off the mystery of the movie.

At this point it is important to remember that Mr. Boddy is actually just a butler, playing a role given to him by Wadsworth. We have no reason to believe that Mr. Boddy is informing on anyone at the gathering or that he is deserving in any way. After watching the movie we can only assume that Wadsworth wants him gone for unstated reasons.

The real question is why does Mr. Boddy continue to participate? Once the group returns to the study, Wadsworth identifies Mr. Boddy as the blackmailer. Mr. Boddy helpfully informs the audience that "This is a hoax!" but sadly for him, the other guests attack him, believing Mr. Boddy to be their blackmailer. Once the commotion has died down, Mr. Boddy produces the various weapons and tries to get the guests to kill Wadsworth for orchestrating the nights events. We can only assume again that these actions by Mr. Boddy were part of the role given to him by Wadsworth. However, Mr. Boddy was just attacked by the guests. Under what logic could Mr. Boddy be operating under where he assumes that giving the people who just attacked him deadly weapons will somehow turn out alright for him? A reasonable person, knowing Wadsworth to be the real villain, should have assumed by now that Wadsworth was setting them up for a fall. Wadsworth even ups the tension by announcing that the police are coming yet Mr. Boddy continues playing his part, hands out the weapons and turns off the light. Perhaps Mr. Boddy expected something else to happen with the lights off but its difficult to imagine what Wadsworth could have told him the plan was that would have left Mr. Boddy so outwardly confident.

The Murder:
The murder, or should I say attempted murder, happens when the lights go out. There is some rustling, a deep gasp and a gunshot. When the lights come back on. Mr. Boddy is on the ground. Professor Plum declares him dead from unknown causes as the bullet missed its target.

We know now that Professor Plum did indeed try to shoot Mr. Boddy in an attempt to end the blackmail. Arguably this makes Plum the most scrupulous person in the movie aside from Mr. Green. While the others killed for personal vendettas, Plum tried to kill the villain. I guess that makes him the hero?

At this point though we have to wonder why Prof. Plum declared him dead. Was it simply so that he could ensure that he could have another shot at him later? Seems unlikely to assume that could occur. The shot was fired in the dark, Prof. Plum could have announced that Mr. Boddy was faking death (I assume the gasp was a deep breath by Mr. Boddy so he could hold his breath to fake death) and feigned ignorance of the shot. Pure incompetence is the reason given as to why Prof. Plum mistakenly thought him dead but that doesn't make any sense.

At this point Wadsworth has actually lost control of the narrative. When the lights go off, Wadsworth himself apparently does nothing. In that situation someone could easily have killed Wadsworth for knowing too many secrets. They could also kill Mr. Boddy for blackmailing them, or, like sensible people, nobody could have done anything since most people don't murder. The only thing I can think of that explains both Wadsworth's inaction and Mr. Boddy's continuing willingness to play the role of the target/villain, is that the plan from the start was for Mr. Boddy to fake his death and then try to sneak out when Yvette starts screaming, presumably in on the plan. This would get the murder ball rolling for the night and allow Mr. Boddy to escape into the night, or into some dark corner of the mansion. Otherwise, Mr. Boddy would have to know he was marked for death and would have schemed like hell to escape. There is no evidence to suggest he did though and as we will see in Murder #3, Yvette's future actions cast doubt on this possibility.

Conclusion:
The first murder of the movie was ultimately a failure. Wadsworth's plan is fairly sound. Misidentify the blackmailer, raise tension with the threat of police intervention, provide ample weapons and then provide the opportunity. The whole plan falls apart though when you try and identify one compelling reason the butler acting as Mr. Boddy would continue to play along in the role when it was becoming crystal clear that he would ultimately be the victim. Knowing he was being groomed as the target, and after surviving an attack by the guests already, Mr. Boddy injects the idea of murder into the guests minds by trying to get them to kill Wadsworth for no reason, provides them with numerous weapons and then himself turns the lights off to give everyone a nice blanket of deniability for the impending murder. While entertaining, this scenario makes no sense upon further review.

Up Next:
This murder scene ends when Yvette begins screaming in the lounge. The guests leave Mr. Boddy on the floor and leave the study. The conversation with Yvette leads into Murder #2, The Cook.

Recap:
Wadsworth: 0 murders
Peacock: 0 murder
Green: 0 murders
White: 0 murders
Mustard: 0 murders
Scarlett: 0 murders
Plum: 1 attempted murder

Mr. Boddy: dead
The Cook: alive
Yvette: alive
Stranded Motorist: not arrived
Off Duty Cop: not arrived
Singing Telegram Girl: not arrived

The Red Herring Exposed - A Clue Analysis (PART 1)

Clue, the movie, is going to turn 35 years old next year. Aside from making me feel incredibly old, its also been on a couple of the free streaming services lately (Kanopy and IMDB Tv, I believe) so I've been watching it in the background while I was doing other things. While thoroughly enjoyable, upon rewatching it, I'm not completely sure that the third ending, supposedly the real one, makes any sense. Therefore I will watch it again from the beginning with that ending in mind to see how it holds up. Part one: the characters and scheme, as revealed in the final ending.

THE MASTERMIND:
Wadsworth: The true villain of the movie hiding out as the butler of Hill House. Claims to be another one of Mr. Boddy's victims but is in reality Mr. Boddy himself.

THE GAME CHARACTERS:
Col. Mustard: A soldier being blackmailed by Mr. Boddy for his illegal war profiteering; selling american military radio parts on the black market. This movie takes place in 1954 so presumably Col. Mustard was stealing/selling parts during WW2 and not Korea. Also a patron of Ms. Scarletts brothel.

Ms. Scarlett: Being blackmailed for running a brothel in Washington D.C. Employed Yvette at some point.

Professor Plum: Psychiatrist being blackmailed for having sexual relationships with his female patients. Works for the U.N.

Mrs. White: Being blackmailed for the suspicious murder of her husband. Suspected of cutting off his head and member. Husband had an affair with Yvette.

Mrs. Peacock: Being blackmailed for taking bribes on behalf of her Senator husband in exchange for votes in Congress.

THE MOLE:
Mr. Green: Undercover FBI agent posing as a closeted gay man who is being blackmailed by Mr. Boddy so he won't be fired from the State Department. On a mission to bring down Mr. Boddy.

THE VICTIMS:
Mr. Boddy: Presented as the main villain but is in reality the real Mr. Boddy's (Wadsworth) butler. Was twice killed by Professor Plum. Importantly, Mr. Boddy did not appear to be informing on anyone. A must see for fans of Fear or just Lee Ving in general.

The Cook: The cook was killed by Mrs. Peacock for informing on her accepting bribes.

The Stranded Motorist: Killed by Col. Mustard for informing on his war profiteering.

Yvette: Killed by Mrs. White for having an affair with her late husband. Also Colleen Camp doing some outstanding accent work. Except for when she forgets.

The Policeman: Killed by Mrs. Scarlett for informing on her brothel.

The Singing Telegram Girl: Killed by Wadsworth for . . . . . . reasons. Presumably to tie up loose ends. Small but memorable role the Go-Go's Jane Wiedlin. See PLAN below.

THE PLAN:
The first sign of trouble comes early in the review. What exactly was Wadsworths ultimate plan and how exactly did he think it would go down? Taking the dialogue at face value we can see the broad stroke outline of the plan. Basically, Wadsworth has been blackmailing the guests for so long that they have all run out of money. As blackmail has no use if the victims are broke, Wadsworth's plan is twofold. Get the guests to become his new team of informants using the information they gain due to their positions in government jobs. Second, get the guests to kill off his current team of informants, as they are no longer useful and can only be used against him. This explanation is actually given during the "A" ending and is attributed to Ms. Scarlett but I think it's also Wadsworth's plan. At the end of the movie Wadsworth comments that he is going to continue the blackmail but all his informers are dead and all the proof against the game pieces was burned in the fire. All Wadsworth has left to blackmail them with is the murders he was involved in as well and all they have to give him is information they get from their jobs.

I think that makes sense though. Wadworth wants to keep in the blackmail game but he wants his current informants gone and he wants the current victims to become the new informants. Easy. How he intends to do that however is suspiciously lacking in details. As we will see when we examine all the murders; Wadsworths has no real control over the outcome. He himself kills nobody until the very last victim and that action seems odd in the context. His goal up until then seemed to be to get everyone else to do the killing so his hands would be clean. The only proactive thing Wadsworth did to provoke the nights activities were to call dinner, invite the guests and provide weapons. For the first 2/3 of the movie, Wadsworth is preaching a non-violent end to the confrontation with Mr. Boddy. The calculation seems to be that just by creating a scenario with the stress of victims confronting their abuser combined with weapons and the threat of time running out (45 minutes until the police arrive) is enough to provoke a violent outcome. Not just violence but a specific set of violent actions. Col. Mustard, Mrs. Peacock and Ms. Scarlett all killed the people informing on them so maybe that was foreseeable but Ms. White killed for personal reasons; Prof. Plum only tried to kill Mr. Boddy in an attempt to end the blackmail and nobody was in a position to kill the Singing Telegram Girl at all. Predicting that outcome is a real stretch.

Which brings us to the tricky problem of the gay, bumbling FBI agent Mr. Green. At the end of the movie Wadsworth reveals that he knew Mr. Green was there to expose him as the real Mr. Boddy. While that reveal gives Col. Mustard an opportunity to use the "Please, there are ladies present!" line, it also confuses Wadsworths plan. There are two scenarios, both of them not really plausible. The first one is that Wadsworth knew the entire time that Green was there to bust him. If thats so, then why allow Green to live through the entire plan?  Had Wadsworth not killed the Singing Telegram Girl and admitted his whole plan, Mr. Green would've had little to work with. Unless Green had prior knowledge of Mr. Boddys true identity, Wadsworth might have just gotten away with it. In this scenario, its difficult to see why Green was invited at all. None of the people involved was informing on Green, assuming there was a real Mr. Green, State Department employee being blackmailed. The second scenario is that Wadsworth didn't know Green was undercover until J. Edgar Hoover inexplicably called the house. At that point the Motorist and Cop have already entered the scene which complicates things but again Wadsworth has done nothing wrong up to that point. Other people have done all the killing, the blackmail evidence has been burned in the fire, and the most useful witnesses against him are being killed of according to plan. Why kill the Telegram Girl and admit to the plan? Very odd indeed. If his plan was to then gun down Mr. Green, why go through the trouble of getting other people to kill the Cook, Yvette, Butler, Motorist and Cop? Killing seven people isn't that much worse legally than killing two, especially if one was a federal agent. It's possible that Wadsworth simply lost his nerve at the end of plan that was being executed to well to be believed. To believe this scenario you would also have to believe that Mr. Green has been undercover, Donnie Brasco style for years, being blackmailed by Mr. Boddy. Otherwise Wadsworth wouldn't have invited him or Wadsworth would've known that the Mr. Green that showed up wasn't the person he had been blackmailing.

OTHER CAST:
The Police Chief-Evangelist: Working with Mr. Green to take down Mr. Boddy. Played by DJ Dr. Johnny Fever from WKRP in Cincinnati.

UP NEXT IN PART 2:
We shall begin to examine the murders to see if the proposed solution makes sense.

52nd Academy Awards

It occurred to me recently that, as much as I love movies, I know almost nothing about the Academy Awards. Every year I haven't seen most of the movies, people seem upset at who wins and I continuing not giving a shit.

This seems like a gap in my knowledge base so I've decided to go back and review the Best Picture category for every year since I was born to see what can be learned, based on what I've seen, what I've heard and what I can learn on YouTube in less than 8 minutes.

Up first, the 52nd Academy Awards. April 14, 1980.

Nominees:
Norma Rae - I've only ever heard of this movie as the punchline to jokes about Sally Field and as a reference point for quiver lipped platitudes about labor unions. The trailer is terrible. It looks like the fever dream campaign ad for some low level Democratic House member from the rust belt. Pretty hunky Beau Bridges though, until he punches Sally Field that is.

All that Jazz - Never heard of it in any context. The trailer starts off like hot garbage but somehow morphs into the guy from Jaws in some weird combo of Staying Alive, Perfect and Chicago. I may have to see this one.

Apocalypse Now - I love this movie. I'll even watch the 11 hour version where they go the french plantation house to ruminate on life for no discernible reason.

Breaking Away - I knew this was the cycling movie but that's about it. I didn't realize it was a comedy and D-Quaid, Daniel Stern and Jack Earl Haley were in it. Its like Revenge of the Nerds, except the nerds are just slightly lower class white guys. The main group seem like what the four kids from Stand By Me would've turned into if they hadn't gone looking for corpses and instead just took up sports. Slightly intrigued. Is this the last comedy nominated for Best Picture, outside of Forrest Gump? As a bonus, the whole thing is on YouTube for free.

Kramer v. Kramer - Wow, what a garbage trailer. I knew this was a legal procedural movie but I thought it was about a wrongful death or something like that. This thing looks super depressing and boring as all hell. Its also amazing that they've really been making this kind of empowered woman rises up against husband movie continually since 1979. I don't know what ends up happening with the kid but I bet it takes four hours to find out. It's probably better than it seems just because of Hoffman and Streep but I can't imagine what set of circumstances would have to occur for me to watch this.

The Outcome:
Of course Kramer v. Kramer wins. It hits all the same award bait tones that a movie like Crash does. The same thinking that makes Citizen Kane the best movie ever makes Kramer the best movie this year. It good to know that the Academy has been consistent over the years. Apocalypse Now though is the clear lasting presence and deserved winner just based on cultural relevancy alone. I'm a little surprised that Norma Rae and Kramer didn't split the left wing vote and clear the path for Apocalypse. Pretty good diversity of films too with a comedy and a weird jazz musical getting nominated. Pretty good start.

Extra Fun Fact: Wow, the movie that killed nuclear power in the U.S., the China Syndrome, also came out this year? I haven't seen this movie either but its so beloved by Hollywood left wingers that I'm shocked it wasn't nominated for Best Picture. It must be awful. Can you imagine a year that could've had Norma Rae, Kramer v. Kramer and the China Syndrome all nominated for Best Pic at the same time? It's like the Pantheon of virtue signaling.

(Franics Ford Coppola, 5 hours into a screening of Kramer v. Kramer)